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Archive Monthly Archives: September 2018

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7 Guidelines To Help You Get Unstuck

7 Guidelines To Help You Find Your Next Steps

Here are 7 guidelines to help you get yourself unstuck. Maybe you need help to find your way if you feel lost in life. No matter where you were trying to go these steps will help move forward.

1 – Always take adequate time to rest and restore if you are tired, confused or overwhelmed.

2 – Acknowledge how far you have come and celebrate even the smallest wins.

3 – Challenging circumstances are really lessons in disguise.

4 – Recognize when you have lost your way.

5 – Learn to trust yourself.

6 – Know your deeper purpose.

7 – Stay connected to your passion.

Make A Choice

It’s not always easy to move forward, when you feel stuck and want to give up. At this crossroads, you have two choices. Either hit the pause button to rest and restore before pushing forward. Or hit the go button and use all of your effort to push through the feelings of wanting to give up. There is no right or wrong way to proceed. You do, however, have to make a choice and I highly recommend being conscious about the choices you make.

I have learned to choose to hit the pause button and take a rest to restore before pushing forward. Taking time to rest and restore is essential. Because you need to be able to stay committed to why you are traveling your path in the first place. If you over effort you run the risk of not listening to your heart. Hence, you end up in the wrong field and off the wrong trail. You’re so turned around to the point you are disoriented and confused.

If this happens to you, pause, rest, recount your steps and do whatever it takes to get back into alignment.

Look Back At How Far You’ve Come

You’ll know when you are there, because the uncertainty and confusion will turn to certainty and clarity. This is a moment to celebrate. Take a few deep breaths and look around at your surroundings. Feel into your body, to stretch out your arms and your legs and begin to acknowledge how far you have come.

In this moment of celebration, it’s not about where you’re going. It’s an opportunity to  acknowledge how far you have come. Take a pause. Take it in. Let it marinate in your cells. Enjoy the nourishment and journey of your life. Breathe it in. Share it and be the light.

Stop Playing Small

Playing small only served me when I was physically small and meek. My stature motivated me to grow bigger and stronger so that I could have more energy and stamina. I wanted to feel energetic and strong and accomplish things. Be engaged with others in ways where I felt included and not excluded. I was inspired to keep up, to grow up, and to fit in at least enough not to stand out.

Now, as I am older and much wiser, I prefer to stand out. I don’t want to be like everyone else, but rather to be perceived as extraordinary. To inspire others by the risks that I have taken to succeed. When I say succeed, what I mean is to have had the courage to follow my dreams. To continue along my journey (with rest breaks), even when it got tough and I wanted to turn back.

The reality is, where was I going to turn back to? I had to learn how to keep moving forward and adjust to the different circumstances that I faced. These challenging circumstances were all lessons in disguise. They helped me develop my personal stamina. As a result, I became more resilient, flexible and adaptable in a world of drama, chaos and constant change.

Along my personal journey I would at times get derailed. I would forget my deeper purpose and disconnect from my passion. I was good at chasing bright shiny objects that gave me the illusion of a short cut. Usually I would fall for this illusion when I neglected to take a rest break. Therefore, I became tired and hungry and fearful. When my resistance to move forward was challenged, I would see the bright shiny object and blindly follow it. Unfortunately, sometimes for years before I realized I was completely off course.

Get Back On Track

The hardest part about getting back on track for me, was not realizing I had lost my way. I had to also learn to trust that when I got back on course, I would know what steps to take next. I wouldn’t feel lost and vulnerable and scared forever. Initially, I would be very uncomfortable, but after a few steps forward my traction would be regained. Hence, I would know in my bones that I was back home, trailblazing in the right direction on the right path.

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How Relationships Are Pivotal To Sustaining Health

Build Better Relationships With Others

Shift Into Receptive Mode

Many of use who are committed to personal growth to create your ideal life for a long time. As a result, we have become aware of their coping mechanisms. These coping mechanisms have been very helpful for getting oneself out of survival mode. When we’re out of survival mode we can move into creating our life. Then we can take full responsibility for our actions, set clear intentions, and align our emotions with our desires.

This important growth process must move beyond concepts and practices that get us out of our constant mind chatter. We also need to learn how to get into our bodies to be in receptive mode. This allows us to receive our life in the present moment. Learning to receive what is next for you will significantly raise your level of well being and keep you out of survival mode.

This all takes place in relationships with others, because we learn how to navigate the push and pull energy of our interaction dynamics. When there is too much push or not enough pull we get out of synch.  We move back into survival mode and lose our ability to be receptive to the moment. When we’re receptive we can utilize our innate wisdom in creating a life that is purposeful, meaningful and rich.

It is not about how smart you are. It’s about how open you are to learning new and powerful rituals. Rituals that prime the brain for trust, partnership, and mutual success.

The Neurochemistry of Relationships

Human beings have a need to belong. This considered by neuroscientists and psychologists to be more powerful than the need for physical safety and security. We are learning that social interactions cause us to either move towards or away from others, and each interaction has the power to trigger protection or growth.

When our interactions with others are healthy we have a healthy state of mind and can engage with others toward mutual success. Oxytocin is elevated, cortisol is lowered, and our capacity to heal ourselves is also high.

Relationships, especially healthy ones, are pivotal to sustaining health. When we are alone or disconnected from others, our own state of being shifts. Our cortisol levels elevate. Fear of being rejected or judged surface. We struggle to experience the world around us as safe and accepting. Hence, feelings of doubt, fear and distress become elevated.

Do you find yourself struggling in your relationships with others?  Here are a few best practices to help you show up in the world with new eyes and healthier interactions.

Releasing The Past

Let go of holding onto the past and old feelings about others.  This can be very deleterious to our health and to our ability to have healthy relationships. Without healthy relationships, we can live shorter lives, be prone to illness, and can live in a state of ‘making things up that don’t exist.’

Learning to ‘release the past’ that may be unhealthy is important when we are focusing on having healthy relationships in our lives.

Reframing Your Relationship

The ability to reframe our relationships and work through challenges with people is essential for health. So, applying our skills in reframing relationships can be the most essential and impactful thing we can do to enhance the quality of our lives.

Refocusing On What Is Healthy

Ignoring our feelings toward others, especially if they are negative feelings is almost impossible. If we have bad history with someone, we can pretend it doesn’t exist but it is still having an effect on us at the unconscious level. Learn to handle the relationship in where you acknowledge what is true and possible. By refocusing on what is healthy and possible shifts the neurochemistry of your relationship. It can also  change the trajectory of your lives.

Redirecting Our Emotional State

When we are uncertain about how others will feel about us there is a tendency to go into protect behavior. We may have a history of distrust and protection built into our brain, and this may become our default mode.

Accepting this is a possibility, but not the only state we will be in, gives us the opportunity to sustain the reality of making change happen. Even in spite of our neurochemical shifts. Redirecting enables us to move into a healthier state.

Intention and Impact

Conversations are about patterns and energy not just about information. Through our conversations, as your coach, insights will emerge about the patterns that will enable you to work on conversational strategies to elevate the link between intention and impact.

Our work together will help you bring change into the world that will empower more transparency, stronger relationships, deeper understanding, broader and more profound and shared success, and most of all the ability to tell the truth – to close the chasm’s that separate us – one from another.

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