by Teena

April 23, 2019

BEING TRULY HAPPY

What have you been manifesting in your life lately?

Whatever it is, is it bringing you joy or stressing you out?

Are you where you truly want to be?

Can you honestly say that you’re happy and content with where you’re at right now?

Or are you still searching?

Most people are searching because we all have a desire to find happiness, be happy and stay happy. But can it be as simple as choosing to be happy?

 If it were that simple, wouldn’t we all be walking around with a permanent smile on our face?

Although I agree choosing to be happy is an essential first step, we still have to consciously create the right internal and external environment to manifest what we truly want and to feel content in life.

According to the 2019 World Happiness Report, happiness and wellbeing has declined among adult Americans since 2010. This same report states that the feeling of happiness is an accumulation of experiences that satisfy us on a deep level and bring an overwhelming sense of contentment.

I agree with that, but here’s the challenge most of us face:

How often have you had a fantastic experience that left you beaming with joy, then not long after it was over, you were right back to where you were before the experience?

Your emotional state was in the doldrums feeling ho-hum without anything extraordinary happening to arouse your senses.

This experience is real for many. We get used to experiencing the highs and lows and ups and downs of life and accept this stress cycle as the norm.

But isn’t this how we build our resilience? Perhaps this is true, but does it have to be so tumultuous?

Can we learn to remain in a state of flow regardless of what’s going on around us?

1—BUILD EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

Is it possible to use our emotional resilience to move through life’s challenges without turning things into mountains that were initially just a bump along the road?

I believe so.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good mountain to climb that challenges my stamina, physically, mentally, and emotionally. What I don’t enjoy is when the mountain suddenly appears in front of me unexpectedly, with no preparation for the challenge. I don’t have the right shoes, clothing, food, or gear to make the trek. It could be dangerous to attempt the climb without adequate preparation and supplies.

2—KNOW YOUR BLIND SPOTS

Facing unexpected obstacles is an example of when we’re most likely to give up. We tell ourselves we don’t have what it takes to succeed, so we don’t even try.

The truth is, we all have blind spots, especially when it comes to conquering life’s challenges. In most cases, if we ask for support, we can find a solution to what we perceive as an unsolvable problem. 

Others can often see what we can’t see during times of high stress. Our brain is in survival mode, and as a result, our creativity gets thwarted. Therefore when faced with a big challenge, one that appears to be unsolvable, it’s essential to seek support or guidance to help you discover a viable solution.

3—ASK FOR HELP

I can’t tell you how many times I put my head down and just walked away because the task in front of me looked too daunting. I didn’t even try or put forth any effort, because I believed it was an impossible task or unsolvable problem. However, if I had asked for help, I would’ve been able to see that the challenge was totally doable, manageable, and even fun to conquer.

When was the last time you faced a challenge, and your first instinct was to walk away and not even attempt to face it?

What if in that moment instead of giving up, you asked for support? 

What would be different today if you choose this option?

How would you feel different about yourself? 

What kind of support do you need to manifest your dreams?

When the going gets tough, stop what you’re doing and find someone willing to help you see or find a solution that works for you.

Not only will this boost your confidence, it will strengthen your resilience and ability to thrive during difficult times. It may even lead you down a path where you feel happier and more content overall.

4—GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

All too often, we have to get out of our way by dropping our ego and our preconceived notion regarding how we think things should be. We get so attached to the outcome that when things don’t start to unfold the way we had imagined or don’t look the way we had envisioned them to be, we get frustrated and try to control the outcome even more.

This pattern of thinking and behaving is what feeds our resistance and robs our joy in the process of creating and manifesting. We shut off the value to these energy flows and instead open the valve to fear. The more we tap into the fear, the more it becomes the primary source of fuel that drives our behaviors.

We don’t even realize that we’re operating under such adverse conditions. We blame external circumstances and avoid taking full responsibility for our happiness. We do this over and over again throughout our life with no conscious awareness that we keep repeating the cycle that disconnects us from our true desires.

It can be tough to sustain the amount of energy it takes to drive our lives from this place of disconnect - and we all have a breaking point. Unfortunately, this can lead to a wide variety of disorders, diseases, loss of wellbeing, and loss of productivity.

Nothing changes until we acknowledge the stress cycle and get the right support.

5—KNOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE

It’s your choice, and although that sounds like the natural part, it’s can be the hardest step to take. You get to choose what happiness means to you.

The solution is, you have to believe that you can be. 

ASK YOURSELF THESE 3 QUESTIONS

  1. Do you believe you can be truly happy?
  2. Can you keep striving to be the best version of you and still feel content in the moment?
  3. What support do you need to manifest your dreams?

If you are open to engage in a conversation about this topic I welcome that. You can reach me directly support@teenaevert.com

Wishing you lasting happiness, 

teena-everts-signature

CEO Claim The Lead

About the author 

Teena

Teena Evert hosts the podcast, The Confident Careerist, and is the CEO and Founder of CLAIM THE LEAD. She is a board-certified career coach, certified career transition and hidden job market coach, certified global career development facilitator, certified trauma-informed career counselor, professional resume and profile writer, certified digital brand strategist, and licensed mental health professional.

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