You’ve probably heard the old rhyme: “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.” It paints a picture of a perfect romance. But what if things take a wrong turn? What if that perfect love story turns out to be a trap?
This is where love bombing comes in. It’s not about love at all—it’s about control. Love bombing is a way for someone to gain power over another person by overwhelming them with affection, gifts, and attention.
It might feel amazing at first, but it’s actually a way to manipulate and trap someone in a relationship.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing happens when someone showers another person with excessive praise, gifts, and affection way too soon in a relationship.
The goal? To make the other person feel special, needed, and deeply connected—fast. The person doing the love bombing (the “bomber”) wants their target to depend on them completely.
But here’s the catch: once the target is hooked, the love bomber starts to change. The extreme love turns into control, jealousy, and sometimes even emotional or physical abuse.
Signs of Love Bombing
Love bombing can feel flattering at first, but there are warning signs to watch for:
- Too many gifts, too soon – If someone you just started dating is giving you expensive jewelry, planning vacations, or offering financial help, be cautious.
- Pushing the relationship too fast – They may say things like “I love you” or “You’re my soulmate” within days or weeks of meeting.
- Demanding your time and attention – They might get upset if you don’t text back right away or spend time with family and friends instead of them.
- Ignoring your boundaries – If you say no to something and they keep pushing, that’s a red flag.
- Isolating you – They may try to pull you away from friends and family, making you feel like they’re the only person who truly understands you.
- Extreme emotions – They may say things like, “I can’t live without you,” or “You’re the only person who gets me.”
- Over-sharing – They might tell you their deepest secrets way too soon to create a false sense of closeness.
Who Is Most at Risk?
Love bombers tend to target people who:
- Are feeling lonely
- Have just gone through a breakup or divorce
- Struggle with self-esteem
- Grew up in dysfunctional families where love felt conditional
- Have a history of unhealthy relationships
Why Is Love Bombing Dangerous?
At first, love bombing feels like the best relationship ever. But when the love bomber has you hooked, things change. They might start to control you, make you feel guilty, or even become emotionally or physically abusive.
Love bombers often follow a pattern:
- Idealization – They put you on a pedestal and treat you like royalty.
- Devaluation – They start criticizing you, making you feel guilty, or playing mind games.
- Discarding – If you set boundaries or push back, they might leave suddenly—or start the love bombing cycle all over again to keep you trapped.
How to Protect Yourself
The best way to protect yourself from love bombing is to trust your gut. If something feels off, pay attention. Here are some things to consider:
- Do they respect your boundaries, or do they push back when you say no?
- Do you feel guilty when you don’t do what they want?
- When you talk to friends or family about them, do they have concerns?
- If you try to slow things down, do they respect your pace?
What to Do If You’re Being Love Bombed
- Trust yourself – If something feels too good to be true, it probably is.
- Talk to someone you trust – Get an outside perspective from a friend or family member.
- Set boundaries – A healthy relationship respects personal space and time.
- Be willing to walk away – You deserve a relationship built on trust, not manipulation.
Love bombing can happen to anyone, so don’t blame yourself if it happens to you. Just stay aware, trust your instincts, and remember that real love isn’t about control—it’s about respect.
