If women leaders want to embrace their power, we must first reject baby elephant thinking. We have to throw off the shackles of learned behavior that no longer serves us.
It’s said that when a baby elephant is being trained, she is tied to a post almost immediately after birth. During the first few weeks of life she attempts to break free of her restraints, but she’s not strong enough. So she comes to believe she can’t get away from what is holding her back.
Hence, even after she has grown large and plenty powerful to uproot the post entirely. As a consequence she remains tied to the post even as an adult. Unfortunately this is due to an internally motivated behavior that is no longer rooted in external reality.
Most of us at some point in our lives, have repeated patterns of behavior that have only limited us. Maybe you became aware of your patterns and did something to change it. Or perhaps your lack of awareness has kept you stuck playing victim to life’s circumstances.
How many times have you remained stuck in your thinking?
When I was in my early 30’s, I moved to the lower 48 after spending nearly a decade living in Alaska. The remote region where I lived was physically separated from any source of civilization by the enormous ice field. I became used to the fact that I couldn’t easily leave my surroundings. The only way in and out was via float plane or boat on a really good weather day.
I then moved to a small yet highly populated island. I could drive the length and circumference of the island in under an hour. Although my years of living in Alaska were breathtakingly beautiful my ability to easily break away from living a remote lifestyle was limited and I was stuck thinking and living small.
With that said, when I moved to Colorado, I was stuck in thinking that I was confined by the boundaries of the town I was living in. I didn’t even consider taking a road trip to the next county over!
While living in Alaska, I also got used to being nestled between the mountains and the ocean. In Southeast Alaska the mountains rise right out of the ocean. So when I would hike in the mountains along the front range of Colorado and look out over the plains, I would see water or perhaps what used to be underwater.
This is an example of how my limited thinking became very conditioned by the external environment in which I lived. I was living in Colorado, far away from any ice fields or islands. Although some would argue that Boulder, CO is 10 square miles surrounded by reality.
Even though I was no longer living in remote Alaska, I still felt a sense of confinement and limitation towards embracing my power to expand my thinking and way of being.
Today, when I recollect that experience, I can see how much I struggled. During the 8 years that I lived in Boulder, I was on a journey of self-discovery. Unfortunately, I was still stuck in baby elephant thinking and living a life with limits.
Fortunately, I was able to gain enough self-awareness and the inner strength to throw off my self-imposed shackles. As a result, I reclaimed my power and decided to relocate to Denver, where I now teach women in business personal leadership development so they can embrace their power and drive business to earn their worth.
The risk you face, if you want to continue to think like an elephant will be a life where you always see your limitations. They will begin to define you and you will feel powerless to change.
The very first step to release the shackles that are holding you back is awareness. You have to become aware of the learned behaviors that are no longer serving you. Commit yourself to develop your own personal leadership. This will help you to become authentically confident, powerful and free to make a greater impact in the world.
Whether you are training a baby elephant, or going through your own training called life. I encourage you to pay attention to your self-imposed limitations. The limitations that are no longer rooted in external reality.
Please don’t think like an elephant. Unleash your power by rejecting what no longer serves you. Learn to embrace what will lead you to live a life without limits and stop thinking like a baby elephant.
First, let’s take a closer look at what it means to be feminine. Most of us have a particular image that comes to mind when we think of a feminine woman. Maybe it’s a woman with long flowing hair with a slender figure with just the right curves. She wears a sleeveless floral print dress with open toe shoes. She’s perceived to be soft spoken, kind and giving.
Then we think of the word powerful and a very different image comes to mind. This same woman might have her hair pulled up and back. She’s wearing a full sleeve dress that’s a dark solid print with closed toe shoes. She’s perceived to be outspoken, affirmative and driven.
Here’s the truth, being feminine and powerful doesn’t really have anything to do with the way we dress or the style of our hair or shoes. It has much more to do with our physical and energetic presence.
The more a woman is able to be grounded in her hips and pelvis the greater her presence will be. She’ll naturally be more influential in her interactions. This is true whether she is speaking to others one-on-one or in front of a large group. All without pushing or trying too hard to make an impact.
In a nutshell, being feminine and powerful is about how we show up as women both physically and energetically. We can show up disconnected from our power center, which puts us up into our heads. This is when we can come across as either intimidating and demanding on or shy and submissive.
However, when we learn to embody our feminine and drop into our power center we can hold an authentic confidence. We can lead with more ease, and have a greater impact. All with just the magnetic power of our presence.
The first big issue I see women struggling with in leadership positions is they’re trying really hard to gain or maintain authority and superiority as women leaders by operating from a place of pushing and over-efforting to make things happen. Unfortunately, this often comes across as demanding and abrasive. It often negatively impacts other areas of their life. Such as ones health and intimate partner relationships.
The second big issue is that this more aggressive style of leadership often stems from one being addicted to being right, which puts one on the defensive stirring up more conflict than a powerful impact. This is not only exhausting to maintain, but it has a tendency to turn people away. Particularly those who don’t want to feel confronted or intimidated by others, which is most people that I know.
The third big issue is the opposite of this, where women with big personalities become submissive and soft spoken. To avoid confrontation, they over accommodate to ensure that they’re liked. They actually draw attention away from themselves by not ever rocking the boat. Unfortunately when we play small like this our presence is weak and our influence is not very powerful or impactful.
In summary, women with BIG personalities who are in leadership positions can fall into two different camps. Camp one is when you’re stuck in a pattern of playing small and struggle with communicating what your really want. Camp two is where you’re stuck in a pattern of constantly pushing hard to get what you think you want.
The truth is, both camps cause women to feel frustrated, confused, depressed and even anxious. They struggle to get what they want in their career, life and love and feel satisfied and successful.
The one thing woman can do is invest in learning a different approach to leadership. To commit to shifting our focus from being purely results and strategy driven to presence and power driven. I teach the art of feminine presence practices and leadership skills to women to help them drop out of their heads and into their bodies.
This is where they can hold an authentic confidence. From here they don’t have to push so hard to be seen and heard. It’s amazing the shift that can happen, just by learning how to show up differently both physically and energetically.
Personal leadership develop is key for effective leaders. Strategy, tactics and concepts are actually secondary. Presence must always precede strategy. Particularly if you want to have less conflict and a more powerful impact at work and at home.
Are you doing things that make you feel bad?
One of the things that we certainly need in order to be a successful female entrepreneur is courage and confidence!
1. If you agree to do something just do it. You’re only taken seriously when you actually follow through on your commitments.
2. Be consistent. Build schedules and routines so that you aren’t constantly over or under doing things.
3. Never place the blame. Take full accountability for the actions you have made, and never claim that it is anyone else’s fault except your own.
4. Don’t be a complainer. Talking negatively about every interaction in your life won’t get you far because if you are blaming the world, at the end of the day your life will feel worse not better.
5. Be upfront and admit when you have made a mistake. By accepting responsibility when you screw up, it makes the most of a bad situation – because you’ve learned from it, and you prevent yourself from making the same mistake again in the future.
6. Recognize there will be things you cannot control. Put your focus into being responsible for things you can control, and avoid the stress of those you cannot.
7. Take care of yourself. Try not to always rely on others to remind you of the simple things you could either discover yourself, or you should simply know. Take responsibility and be in control of your life.
You sometimes feel lost in the direction your life is going. You’re caught in a negative pattern that has kept you from moving forward, perhaps for a really long time.
The pattern goes something like this…
You’re so busy doing things to try and improve your life. Maybe it’s something with your work/career or maybe it’s with your spouse/significant other or perhaps both. Regardless of the specific area of your life you’re trying to improve, there’s this feeling that no matter what you do to try to change it for the better it never feels like enough.
No matter how hard you try and push to improve things, it doesn’t move you ahead far enough to where you can just relax and feel satisfied.
As a result, you’re exhausted. Your confidence is shrinking. You’re losing trust in yourself and you feel uncertain and really worried about your ability to succeed.
You know you need to get out of this negative pattern. You want clarity about how to finally change this, you want your power and energy back, more confidence and trust in yourself and your ability to succeed.
You know you need to find a new path forward, but you realize that you need help figuring out what steps to take and a clear plan that will support your desires. You need to learn practical skills to ensure you have the right tools to stay your course and not get derailed along the way.
You’re not willing to give up on your dreams. You’re no longer willing to tolerate feeling lost, caught in a pattern of struggle and not seeing improvement in key areas of your life so you can have the clarity and confidence to feel relaxed and satisfied with your progress.
I get it. I totally get it.
I have the same challenges and desires that you do. I’ve been caught in a pattern of over efforting and pushing hard to make things happen, yet still falling short of my goals. Over time this pattern wore me down to the point where my self confidence was shrinking and I started to lose hope in my ability be successful with both with my life’s work and in my relationships. My life felt like it was spiraling out of control and I knew I needed professional help to turn it around.
We all get caught in negative patterns, which can cause us to feel lost, alone and isolated. Believe it or not this is part of our wisdom path, it’s how we go from sabotage to success. The key is realizing that you can’t go it alone. You need professional support and guidance to change what you can not see.
You know you’re not really changing when you oscillate between pushing hard to resolve an issue or withdrawing to keep the peace, or some resemblance of it. This exact pattern is what keeps you stuck and unable to move forward.
Here’s the truth, you must learn how to work and live smarter, not harder and this takes clarity. Clarity is key because it brings power and confidence to your actions. The secret to shift from over efforting to more ease is not about learning more strategies. To replace your self-doubt with belief and your worry with inspiration and fun, you must first gain clarity about what you need to confront that’s causing resistance and stopping you from moving forward. When you confront your resistance with clarity and confidence you finally stop making excuses that sabotage your success. Only then will you have a greater capacity to allow more of what you want to flow into your life.
If this resonates with you and you’d like an opportunity to chat with me, please click this link to set up a time for us to connect with each other.
With love and appreciation,
The life we lead is an accumulation of the choices we make. Our choices can be our best friend or our worst enemy. They can deliver us to our goals or send us trailblazing down the wrong path.
Think about it. Everything in your life exists because you first made a choice about something. Choices are at the root of everyone of your results and outcomes. Each choice starts a behavior that overtime becomes a habit. Choose poorly and you might just find yourself back at the drawing board forced to make new and often much harder choices. If you don’t choose at all, well you just made the choice to be the passive receiver of whatever comes your way.
In essence you make your choices, and then your choices make you. Every decision, no matter how slight alters the trajectory of your life. Whether or not you go to college, who you marry, have that last drink and drive, indulge in gossip or stay silent, say I love you or not. Every choice has an impact and directly affects how you claim or don’t claim the lead in your life.
You must become aware of how you make choices that support the expansion of your life. It’s really not that complicated; however you have to be willing to not make 99% of your choices unconsciously. You have to say to yourself, “No more are my daily routines and traditions going to come as a reaction to my programing”. You have to be willing to ask yourself and be able to answer, “How many of my behaviors have I not voted on?” What am I doing that I didn’t consciously choose to do, yet continue to do, everyday?”
Your biggest challenge is not that you have been intentionally making bad choices. Your biggest challenge is that you’ve been sleepwalking through your choices. Half the time you’re not even aware that you’re making them. Our choices are often shaped by our culture and upbringing. They can be so entwined in our routine behaviors and habits that they seem beyond our control!
For instance, have you ever been going about your business, enjoying your life when all of a sudden you made a stupid choice or a series of small choices that ultimately sabotaged your hard work and momentum all for no apparent reason? You didn’t intend to sabotage yourself, but by not thinking about your decisions and weighing the risks and potential outcomes you found yourself facing unintended consequences.
Nobody intends to become obese, go through bankruptcy, or get a divorce, but often, if not always those consequences are a result of a series of small poor choices.
It’s time to wake up and make empowering choices.
It’s easy to point fingers at others, isn’t it?
For instance, “I’m not getting ahead because of my backstabbing co-worker.”
“I would have gotten that promotion if my boss wasn’t so self-absorbed.”
“I’m always in a bad mood because my family is driving me crazy.”
And we are particularly gifted in the finger pointing arena when it comes to our romantic relationships. You know, where the other person is the one who needs to change, right?!
What percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?
Most will say 50/50, because they believe that people must be willing to share the responsibility evenly or someone is going to get ripped off. Others say it’s more like 51/49, because they believe you have to be willing to do a little bit more than the other person to make it work. Many more think it’s closer to 80/20, because they believe relationships are built on self sacrifice and generosity.
The correct answer is 100/100, because you have to be willing to give 100% with zero expectation of receiving anything in return. Only when you are willing to take 100% responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. Otherwise, a relationship left to chance, will always be vulnerable to disaster.
Now, this might not be what you were expecting to hear; however, this concept can actually transform every area of your life. If you always take 100% responsibility for everything you experienced, completely owning all of your choices and all the ways in which you responded to whatever happened to you – then you hold the power.
Everything is up to you. You are responsible for everything you did, didn’t do, or how you responded to what was done to you.
I know you think you take responsibility for your life. I have yet to ask anyone who doesn’t say, “Of course I take responsibility for my life,” but when you look at how most people operate in the world, there’s a lot of finger pointing, victimhood, blaming, and expecting someone else to solve their problems.
If you’ve ever blamed the traffic because you’re late or decided that you were in a bad mood because of something your kid, spouse, or co-worker did, you’re not taking 100% responsibility.
You arrived late because your lunch wasn’t ready? Maybe you shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to eat. Your co-worker messed up the powerpoint? Shouldn’t you have checked it before delivering it? Not able to manage your unreasonable puppy? There are countless books and classes to help you learn how to deal. You alone are responsible for what you do, don’t do, and how you respond to what is done to you. This empowering mindset will revolutionize your life.
Luck, circumstances or the right situation isn’t what matters. No matter who is elected president, how badly the economy tanked, or what anybody said, did or didn’t do, you are still 100% in control of you.
Through choosing to be officially liberated from the past, present and future victimhood, you’re hitting the jackpot! You have the unlimited power to control your destiny by taking 100% responsibility for your life and claiming the lead.
If this resonates with you and you’d like to chat with me, you can schedule a time to connect with me by clicking here. I look forward to it!
With love and appreciation,
This year I’ve been 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to fully embody my personal power. And I have to warn you, be careful for what you ask for!
It was my willingness to get uncomfortable and do the work that I uncovered a deeper meaning. In short, to inspire other women to claim the lead and make stuff happen!
To me, this means being BOLD and standing in your truth no matter what. It’s exploring where and how you position yourself in your life, on any given day, in any given situation or circumstance. Likewise, it’s knowing how you respond and navigate your life when things seem to be unfolding in your favor and when they are clearly NOT going your way.
Fires you up?
Makes you angry?
Are you passionate about?
Is it that you really want?
Are your deepest desires?
Do you keep avoiding?
These are important questions to ask yourself. You must take 100% responsibility for your life. Therefore, I believe you can lead from anywhere, even when you are in the role of follower.
Yes even when you are following you can lead, it’s simply a shift in your mindset. You do this through connection. By staying connected all the way through the conversation, the dance, the project, the relationship, whatever it is. You get connected by first becoming centered in your own core. Then from there you can feel, and think your way through the events of your day, week, month or year with exquisite awareness.
Becoming keenly aware of how you feel in any given moment. This allows you to be guided internally by what is radically true for you. When you can stand in your truth you’ll have a much easier time course correcting, especially when life throws you curve balls. Here’s a little secret…life will throw you curve balls!
It’s not about experiencing a perfect life with no adversity. It’s about how you RESPOND to the adversity. How you show up and the choices you make is what matters most. I encourage you to stay committed to being your best self today and everyday.
I learned this the hard way and my own mess became my message. I felt flat on my face skinned my knees, scraped my hands broke a few bones, and suffered extreme heartbreak in the process.
Firstly, this face plant took me to a place of total defeat, deep despair and a dark scary place inside. Secondly, I was full of uncertainty and I had no idea how I would get up and climb out of this hole. Further, I had no where to go, but to surrender to being face down in the dirt. Moreover, it was from here things started to shift.
The shift came from inside from the pain that ran so deep it pierced through my bones. I felt as if I could only take sips of breath, between the waterfall of tears that washed over me. I felt helpless, hopeless and disoriented while sitting in this dark fiery pit of despair, yet at the same time, I discovered something that would change my life forever.
In this place of darkness where I could barely breath was a spark of light. I began to feel a swell of warmth rise up from inside of me and suddenly my heart burst open! Feeling like I could breathe again and became hopeful and energized. I tapped into a reserve of energy that from that moment forward, I relied on to heal. To feel, move and shift my energy in order to find my way out of this dark hole.
Meanwhile I reached for relief and found the right resources to help me stand on my own two feet and become grounded once again in my truth. I had experienced a huge breakthrough, an awakening and a deep knowing that this was my time to heal. To take all the pain from my past, all the old stories that played like a broken record in my head and transform it.
Like the alchemist, who never loses hope and teaches that when a person really desires something, the whole universe will conspire to help that person realize their dream.
I was so ready to take a step in the right direction and get back on the correct course . Particularly, after being thrown from the saddle and landing face down in the arena. Beck in the flow and aligned with my true self, I felt UNSTOPPABLE. My desire was strong become the leader of my life and take 100% responsibility for how I wanted to feel, moment-to-moment, day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month and year-to-year.
This is why I am dedicated to help other women tap into the wellspring of their inspiration and claim the lead in their life. Above all, to stop chasing shiny objects that promise happiness, and put and end to repeating negative patterns that keep them stuck in old stories that they’ve out grown.
When you claim the lead in your life you learn to tune into your deepest desires. You also tap into a reservoir of vitality that allows you to make sh*t happen!
I would have never experienced the rise in my strength without first being completely paralyzed in defeat. In conclusion, trust yourself and do whatever it takes to dig down and tap your inspiration to claim the lead.
Have you ever watched an important relationship in your life fall apart? Leaving you feeling intense emotional pain, physical heartache and despair?
Given the extreme distress of this situation, what got you through it?
Was it drinking wine with your girlfriends or sobbing home alone on your sofa? Did you distract yourself with other things like work, netflix binges and chocolate ice cream?
How long ago did this happen to you? Does it still bother you even though it happened several months or years ago?
Whether your heartbreak is recent or it occurred decades ago. If you haven’t fully healed from this experience, it can negatively impact your health and well-being. It can cost you more heartache and even shorten your lifespan. It can rob you of the joy you know you deserve. The relationship you long for. The one you have been wanting to attract. Yet without much success, despite your efforts to move on from your past.
Not every romantic relationship you are in will work out the way you had hoped. However, every relationship that you have been in holds significance in your life. Broken relationships are not failures, they are lessons in disguise. In order to grow from these lessons, we have to be willing to look at our part in the madness. We must also take the time to heal. Letting go of the old stories that we hang on to so we can be free from our past.
The sooner we can let go of the old stories we keep telling ourselves, the quicker we will be able to move forward in our life. Because, we will no longer be renewing the negative thoughts and feelings associated with it.
I have worked with thousands of men and women who have remained stuck for years. Stuck repeating the same relationship mistakes that have prevented them from feeling fulfilled in love. This has led to a life of feeling alone, depressed, anxious and even suicidal. It has also been a catalyst for chemical dependency and addiction.
The breakdown that occurs after a significant relationship in your life ends, regardless of the circumstances, does not need to leave you in a state of despair for very long. It can actually be a catalyst for deep transformation and personal growth. The key is to be able to move through the pain and discomfort in such a way that allows you to expand and grow from the inside out.
Unfortunately, what many people do is try to bypass the pain, by jumping into another relationship or reaching for bright shiny objects to distract them from the pain. This only provides short-term relief with no healing benefits. Unfortunately, neither of these options provide true relief or healing, if anything, it prolongs the emotional pain and sets one up for further heartbreak.
There are 5 steps that you must take after a relationship breakdown in order to move forward in your life and feel amazing. The prerequisite for these steps, however, is to be ready, willing and able to let go. To be unattached to the outcome and to stop beating yourself up for being in the position that you now find yourself in. It’s time for you to stand up and begin the next chapter of your life, and this chapter is now yours to create.
Step 1: Reclaim Your Power and Passion
When a relationship falls apart it becomes a sudden event that immediately grabs your full attention. While time is of the essence, it’s important to avoid making rash decisions.
In order to even consider what is next for you, you must take time to review and do some evaluation in order to make thoughtful judgments regarding your life so you can in turn make confident choices. As you begin to reclaim your power, purpose and passion, hold on tight, because things now move into high gear! It’s important to stay grounded as you may feel off guard as uncertainty sets in. Feeling good about yourself is essential for healing right now.
Step 2: Get Back In Touch With Your Heart’s Desires
In order to ignite your heart’s desires you must transcend the feeling of entrapment that is coming from anxiety that’s not actually based in reality. You must learn to adopt a more positive perspective on this situation. Rather than focus on the material things in life you must recognize that you are trying to fill an emotional void with a physical need when what you’re really craving is inner peace.
You are stronger than you realize and you can handle your current situation, however, instead of powering through it, you’re better off with an approach of compassion, kindness and gentleness towards yourself. The truth is that, your inner strength and effectiveness increase as you believe in yourself and your ability to grow from the experiences you have in life. It’s essential that you take responsibility for your actions, with that you can expect positive changes to occur in your life.
You will begin to enjoy new opportunities as they present themselves and you take the leap with the knowledge that everything will work well for you. Old blocks are lifting and everything now moves forward quickly. Although recent or past events shook your faith, you now see how they were actually positive for you.
Step 3: Re-prioritize Your Purpose
You’ve probably got too much going on at once and you’re feeling stressed. Everyone experiences times in their lives when they’re afraid or insecure. Sometimes these fears are based on external factors you can see, and sometimes worries stem from irrational or unreal concerns.
In both cases it’s important to go within and listen to your intuition as to what to do next. Trust your intuition and trust your guidance. Embrace this period of self-awareness to overcome past blocks that have held you back from living your purpose. It’s your time to awaken to truths about yourself that you’ve kept hidden, and see your brilliant light.
You’ll soon be on your way to feeling a sense of contentment, peace and abundance. You’ll be able to safely navigate your way through the obstacles to a place you can feel proud of as you seek stability and commitment to a better life.
Step 4: Recharge Your Radiance
Your relationship breakdown has been a wake-up call for you to make some life changes. This may be a new revelation or something you’ve known but have been procrastinating about. It is now that you realize that this situation can’t be ignored and action is necessary.
This is a moment of both freedom an awakening. The way you see yourself and the world has forever changed. This brings you growth and encouraging you to spread your wings. These new insights give you motivation to embrace the path of your heart’s true desires.
Communication with your higher self is key right now because it’s important to develop trust within yourself. It’s time for you to make clear decisions. You must remove anything or anyone from your life whose presence no longer serves your greatest good. To recharge your radiance you have to let go of working too hard, because there is a need for balance in your life.
Slow your pace to a more comfortable level. Allow your stress levels to come down a few notches. Begin to let love in, in a way that brings you joy, expansion and deep relaxation.
Step 5: Align Your Actions
You are self-reliant and wise. This hasrepared you for this time in your life to take it easy and enjoy some luxuries. Your own company is valued and you find peace and contentment in your quiet alone time. Pursuing deeper meaning in life is important to you and you retreat inward for inspiration. At the same time it’s important to cultivate logic, discipline and order right now.
Your dreams need guidelines and organization so that they can manifest properly. Believe in your ability to feel empowered and take a leadership role in your life. Focus on things that involve your passion and carry them out to your best abilities. This is your time to create something beautiful or of high quality. Stay alert to new possibilities.
Change is inevitable and can bring newfound sources of abundance. Align your actions by remaining open to new and exciting opportunities. Stop giving into fear-based thoughts that limit your actions.
I have always had a difficult time relaxing or sitting still for any length of time. This was the case when I was young and it lasted throughout childhood and into my college years. I drove my parents and friends crazy with my anxious energy and need to constantly be doing something physically active.
Although, I was naturally coordinated and strong, I lacked confidence and mental focus. I also felt like I was never quite good enough at anything, regardless of how much effort I put into it. The chronic feelings of never being good enough had a very negative impact on my emotional well-being.
Unfortunately, none of my natural talents in the physical fitness arena helped me to develop my emotional fitness. This was a skill and a practice that I learned much later in my life. I wish I would have been taught these tools and practices in grade school and college. It certainly would have been a game changer!
You’re probably wondering exactly what is emotional fitness? How do you strengthen it? How is it different than your physical or mental fitness? These are all great questions and I’ll do my best to answer them for you here.
If we increase the movement of our body we can become more physically fit. For example, you can join a gym and hire a personal trainer. Or attend a group fitness class, learn to eat more healthily and mindfully. All of these actions have the potential to improve your level of physical fitness if done correctly and consistently.
Your mental fitness will also be challenged with your improved level of physical fitness because you will be moving out of your comfort zone on more of a regular basis. Overall, you’ll be challenged to move into a zone of greater possibility. However, In order to sustain this new level of fitness, you’ll need to be aware of how you’re feeling emotionally.
The truth is, how you feel emotionally is vital to achieving optimal health and well being. A high level of emotional fitness gives you the capacity to hold a greater vision for yourself. You will feel amazing from the inside out.
If you’re working hard at the gym to improve your physical and mental fitness, you also need to improve your emotional fitness. This is key to achieve long term success. Feeling your best will help you to stay inspired, motivated and engaged in your life.
Emotional fitness is about creating optimal positive emotional energy. It’s not always easy to be in a pure positive emotional state; however, we can condition ourselves to access this state more often and stay longer with ease.
The more positive an attitude you have, the better your life will be in every area. This is NOT the same as positive thinking, and nor does it ignore the downsides. Positive emotional energy enables you to see what is really going on. This is also the way successful people learn to generate success.
Positive emotions give you energy, while negative emotions deplete your energy. An electrical charge is sparked in your brain with each thought (whether this is positive or negative). This releases a hormone which in turn affects all of your mental and physiological well-being. If you think a negative thought, it is as though a sluice gate drops down and prevents any feelings of well-being. Conversely with a happy thought, memory or holding your body in a physiological state of well-being, your brain produces chemicals. As a result, you feel good.
When you are excited and happy you sparkle with energy and enthusiasm. When you are angry or depressed, or negative for any reason, you feel tired and frustrated, and eventually, burnt out. Emotional energy is a far more refined form of energy than the physical energy that it takes to move your body. Emotional energy is absolutely essential to healthy emotional functioning.
You can conserve your emotional energy if you don’t consume all your energy units in the expression of negative emotions such as fear, doubt, anger, guilt, and resentment. If your energy is conserved at one level, your body continues to refine it into higher and better energy. One hundred units of emotional energy thus conserved will be refined by your body into 10 units of mental energy.
Learning to become calm and relaxed is key to boosting your emotional fitness. When you’re more relaxed, you tend to be more genuine and more in control of your emotions. You’ll become more aware that expressions of negative emotion deprive you of the energy you need to be effective in the more important things that you do. Getting upset or angry over little things, or even large things becomes a waste of energy. By remaining objective and detached you’ll be able to view things as they are without becoming emotionally involved.
I strongly encourage you to learn how to stand back and refuse to take things personally. Don’t allow yourself to get drawn into arguments or other people’s problems and save you energy for more productive purposes.
The whole purpose of physical relaxation is to allow yourself to recharge your emotional and mental batteries. The aim of rest and relaxation is to build up your mental and emotional energies.This will in turn improve the quality of your life.
In summary, if you truly want to boost your emotional fitness, then here are three simple actions steps you can exercise right away:
First, keep your thoughts on your dreams and desired outcomes, and keep them off the things and people that cause you stress and negative emotions. This is not easy but it is very important.
Second, preserve your emotional energy by staying calm and positive in difficult situations, rather than allowing yourself to be upset and angry.
Third, take ample time to rest completely so you can recharge your physical and emotional batteries. The better rested you are, the more effective you will be.