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episode 38 energize your work life

EP38: ENERGIZE YOUR WORK LIFE

episode 38 energize your work life

Episode 38: Energize Your Work Life

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today, I am talking about how you can energize your work life! Particularly if you are feeling a lack of motivation, boredom with your work tasks, or questioning whether there is something better out there for you!

I work with a lot of people who seem to have lost their mojo at work. For many reasons, their work day is more draining than energizing and despite their efforts, they have not been successful at changing this. They think perhaps changing jobs is the answer. Well, it might be, but it also might not be.

It’s best to look at your situation from different angles. Perhaps you can’t see the forest for the trees. You are so involved in the details of what you think the problem is that you can’t look at the situation as a whole and find a viable solution.

Now if you want to energize your work life, but you really hate going to work everyday…this will require a major attitude adjustment and a significant mindset shift.

If you’re stuck in a rut feeling like you’re constantly having crappy things happen to you day-in-and-day-out, with no control over what is happening to you, then you’re probably burying yourself in negativity. You’ve got to start climbing your way out of this deep dark well by introducing positive things into your life and take back control of fueling your spirit, your power, and your purpose – more on this later.

If you’re bored at work from the repetition and lack of stimulation or you’re feeling resentful because your day revolves around when or if everyone else needs something from you – Then I bet you are tired from giving more to others then to yourself. Sound familiar?

I get it, I’ve been there!

I have been in all of these situations, more than once, and from my own struggles, I want to share some of my strategies and tips to help you feel more energized at work, regardless of where you are at along your career path.

First and foremost, is to learn how to claim the lead in your life, by regaining control when you feel like you have lost it, by recharging your energy when it’s been depleted, by reviving your spirit when you feel it has nearly shriveled up and died, and restoring your confidence when it’s been eroded by giving away your power.

Adjusting your attitude

When we feel we have lost a sense of control in our lives we get bogged down by our responsibilities in life to the point where we just can’t seem to get back on top of it – at this point it’s easy to slip into a negativity and have a pretty poor outlook on our future.

So how when you have a negative attitude and you feel bogged down how do get back on top of things and feel positive again? First, you have to take a pause long enough to reflect on what you’ve been doing that’s not working.

Do you know how many positives you need for every negative in order to turn it around? Or in other words how many positives it takes to cancel a negative?

The optimal ratio is 5 positives for every 1 negative. Having a positive perspective is something that careerists can work on everyday. Here are 3 ways you can start to regain control, get back on top of your responsibilities and work on seeing things in a more positive way at work.

  1. Let your co-workers and colleagues influence you. When you have irresolvable problems in the workplace, you can either hold resentment against others or accept what cannot change. When you accept others different points-of-view and perspectives, you also accept their influence when discussing problems.
  2. Increase your sense of appreciation for others at work. A simple way to do this is to let your co-workers and colleagues know of at least one thing each day that you appreciate about them or about something they did. What are they adding to your life at work?
  3. Create an emotional connection by letting others know you value their presence and what they have to say. An emotional connection starts by making eye contact, smiling, and responding with validation.

When you accept influence, increase your sense of appreciation and emotionally connect with others on a regular daily basis, it helps you have a positive attitude and therefore boosts your energy at work. When this happens you might feel more of a desire to collaborate with others to find solutions to pressing issues that have been impacting your productivity.

Shift your mindset

Another key strategy to regain control and energize your work life is shifting your mindset.

Do you often try new things and push yourself into uncharted territory in your development? Or do you tend to stick with what you know?

How you answer these questions will reveal your mindset.

Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck was curious why some people, in life thrive while others flounder. She studied the underpinnings of success and achievement for over four decades. Her major contribution is the distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

Let’s explore what these mindsets really mean, why they are important and how you can change your mindset.

In a fixed mindset, individuals believe they are either born with talent or they’re not. They’re either naturally good at something, or they’re not. They view intelligence as a fixed trait. They believe inborn talent determines success.

Individuals with a growth mindset believe talent comes through effort. They believe anyone can be good at anything; that their abilities can be developed through dedication, perseverance, and the right strategy.

The bottom line is that Individuals with a fixed mindset seek to validate themselves. Individuals with a growth mindset focus on developing themselves. Although this distinction may seem simple, the implications are enormous.

Dangers of a fixed mindset

Individuals who adopt a fixed mindset rarely excel at anything. Because they believe their intelligence and abilities are what they are, they invest their energy in looking smart instead of learning and developing.

In a fixed mindset, if you try something you’ve never done before, say skiing, you’ll likely give up after falling a few times. This “failure” will feel humiliating and you’ll probably avoid skiing for the rest of your life. You’ll make an excuse like, “Skiing just isn’t my thing.”

With a fixed mindset, you avoid new challenges like the plague because you’re afraid of being judged. As such, when obstacles arise, you tend to give up quickly because you feel that putting forth effort is a waste of time – and you secretly feel threatened and envious of the success of others. Ultimately, in a fixed mindset, you don’t have a chance to develop your potential.

It’s incredibly harmful to hold a fixed mindset, to believe intelligence and talent is static. Yet, most of us hold a fixed mindset in multiple areas of our lives.

Power of a growth mindset

In a growth mindset, you believe you can develop any ability through dedication and hard work. Because of this belief, you have a desire to learn. This enables you to embrace challenges and persevere when setbacks invariably arise during the learning process.

With a growth mindset, you view effort as an essential ingredient on the ​path to mastery​. You don’t shy away from effort; you embrace it. And when you see others succeeding on their path to mastery, you find inspiration and lessons to learn for your own development. A growth mindset leads you into an upward spiral of continuing developing, reaching ever-higher levels of ​personal mastery​ and achievement.

These ​growth minded individuals​ have more peak experiences, improved relationships, and greater productivity in their field.

You can also have a mixed mindset, a combination of the two, although Dweck says people tend to lean toward one or the other. The good news is that you have a choice. “Mindsets are just beliefs,” ​Dweck explains​. “They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

Changing your mind and choosing your mindset can have a BIG impact on how energized you feel at work today as well as along your future career path.

Creating clear emotional boundaries

Another important strategy for energizing your work life is to learn how to stop one of the most common energy leaks – a lack of clear emotional boundaries.

When we allow ourselves to become drained physically, emotionally and energetically we often find ourselves also struggling with various levels of anxiety and depression. One of the things that contributes to these symptoms being mild, moderate or high is the health of our emotional boundaries.

When we have emotional boundaries we can stay clearly centered on our own feelings and take care of them without taking on other people’s feelings resulting in emotional overwhelm.

We get emotionally overwhelmed because people around us are feeling strong emotions that they aren’t taking care of – so lacking clear boundaries – we can unconsciously take these emotions on. You might not be aware that this is happening, but you certainly are aware of how uncomfortable the impact of it is on you.

Once you understand the dynamic that is happening you can take the next step which is to shift the dynamic in order to recharge your energy reserves and prevent constant depleting.

3 tips to help you develop clear emotional boundaries

  1. Learn to pull your energy field closer to your body. We all have an energy field that extends beyond us and if it is out too far we are able to feel what others are feeling more intensely. By pulling this in closer to your body, by actually visualizing it coming in closer, you can stay centered in your own body and not take on others emotions.
  2. Learn to make distinctions between your natural empathy versus care-taking energy, which is when we take on others emotions and run them through our own body. You can say to yourself something like, “I care about this person and I feel empathy for their feelings, but I don’t need to run those feelings through my own body.” Then you can visualize handing these feelings back to the other person
  3. Get clear that it is OK for others to be in a different emotional state than you. For example, if you are happy and the other person you are with is sad—it is OK for you to stay happy and extend compassion to the person for their sad feelings. It is OK for you to be happy and for them to be sad. This is an emotional boundary. You can affirm to yourself: “We can be in different emotional states and still be very connected.”

Once you begin to practice establishing your own emotional boundaries, it will be much easier to take care of your own issues and more quickly recover from feeling physically drained anxious or depressed at work.

Connecting to your resources

If you have been feeling a lack of motivation and purpose in your life, then this strategy will be sure to revive your Spirit. Accessing your resources will bring you back to feeling grounded and nourished in present time.

Your resources are the things that give you strength and nourishment.
One of the most frequent topics of conversation that I have had with clients both, as a mental health professional and life and career coach has been on the topic of resources.

A resource in this context is anything that supports, nurtures, stabilizes, and strengthens you from the inside out. We have all experienced difficult times in our life. Ask yourself, “Given that I’ve been through a lot, what gave me the strength to come through or to go on?” “What gives me inner strength in life? What do I enjoy the most in life?

By recognizing what has worked or what is working well in your life is a resource. A resource is any positive memory, person, place, action, or personal capacity that creates a soothing feeling in your body. You can actively use these resources to help reduce chronic and acute stress and therefore stimulate a state of relaxation and well-being. It is important to focus on what is healthy in you.

By identifying what allows you unwind, relax and enjoy moments in life, worry-free will help you stay energized in both your personal and professional life.

Owning your power

The last strategy I’ll share with you today has to do with giving yourself permission to be powerful. This is certainly NOT about abusing your power for person gain, this is about being comfortable and confident in your skin by knowing your values, embracing your worth and speaking your truth.

Take inspired action towards what you want by being proactive, initiating change – not just standing by waiting for life to give you what you want. You must give yourself permission to be in your power and be confident in going after what you want. This will result in feeling highly energized and connected to purpose as well as your professional identity.

Conclusion

I covered a lot in this episode…let me recap the strategies that will help you ENERGIZE your work life, regardless of how depleted you are feeling.

First claim the lead in your life by adjusting your attitude and following the 3 ways you can work on seeing things in a more positive way at work.

Next, regain control by shifting your mindset, meaning do whatever it takes to develop a growth mindset, rather than stay in a fixed mindset. This is essential for your development and ability to move forward with ease and delight.

Create clear emotional boundaries to plug the most common energy leak. Connect to your resources for nourishment and strength – and give yourself permission to restore your confidence by owning your power.

If you would like additional support to help implement any of these strategies so that you can improve your life, your energy and your career development, then I invite you to schedule a Free consultation session.

Until next time…

Be Confident!

ep37 managing stressful work relationships

EP37: MANAGING STRESSFUL WORK RELATIONSHIPS

ep37 managing stressful work relationships

Episode 37: Managing Stressful Work Relationships

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Stressful work relationships

Relationships at work can be stressful indeed. Think about what it is about a particular relationship at work that creates stress for you?

Perhaps you don’t feel understood or respected by someone you work closely with. Or maybe you feel criticized by your boss or set up for failure by your team.

Whatever it is, it’s stressful and you need to find a solution so you don’t have to worry about losing your cool or your job for that matter.

I had a client, I’ll call him Bill and he came to me for help because he had a stressful relationship with not only his co-workers, but his boss. He was told that if he didn’t change his attitude he was out. Bill came to me to try and figure out what he could do to improve his relationships, primarily so he didn’t lose his job. The first thing we did was examine the feedback that he was receiving from people at work. He was told that he wasn’t approachable and lacked enthusiasm on his team.

At first Bill wanted to spend time looking at all the things his co-workers and boss were doing that upset him. Their behaviors at the office left him feeling disrespected and not valued in his role as an executive. As a result, he worked harder, which meant he was preoccupied with work tasks and rarely looked up from his desk when someone approached him with a question. He worked through lunch and didn’t engage in office small talk when others stuck around the office and socialized during the lunch hour.

Through our work together Bill was able to do some self-reflection and gain awareness and understand about how he was being perceived by others. He started to see why people felt he wasn’t approachable. He realized that by not making eye contact and neglecting giving his full attention when asked a question, people could feel dismissed, unimportant or get the vibe that he just didn’t want to be bothered.

In reality, because of the stressful work relationships, Bill put pressure on himself to be super productive, which caused him to be driven by achieving tasks and was less interested or motivated by social interaction and engagement at the office. He realized that although his preference is to be task-focused he was able to make some adjustments in his attitude and behavior that as a result began to make a positive impact on his work relationships.

By taking the time to make eye contact when speaking with another and to ask questions and actively listen more, he started to feel more connected to his co-workers and his co-workers felt more at ease with him. Overtime, Bill started to feel more motivated at work and took breaks from his tasks to be more social even though he preferred not to at times.

Bills ability to reflect on his part of the stress in his work relationships allowed him to take responsibility for change and he took specific actions to get his desired results. He no longer feels like his job is on the line and he is enjoying himself more at work with his co-workers. His boss was also pleased and gave Bill a promotion.

Self-reflection & self-awareness go a long way

This illustrates the importance of self-reflection and self-awareness about how you are being perceived by the people that you work with.

What does your body language communicate to them? If you don’t feel you are being treated fairly or in the manner that you desire, what can you do to start to shift this?

Changing your perception and being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, can help you see the small changes you can make to get more of what you want with ease.

Let’s look at another scenario, where you feel you’re doing everything right yet your efforts are not having a positive impact on your stressful work relationships. You feel like no matter what you do, nothing changes and if anything – it’s getting worse. You wonder if someone is out to get you. You certainly don’t like to be talked down to or criticized by your boss. You feel like you are walking on eggshells and it’s impacting your productivity and overall job performance.

Power and control

What can you do to manage these super stressful work relationships? There is not one solid solution for every difficult work relationship issue, however, you can work towards improving the situation by first assessing what is in your power and control to change and what isn’t.

Only focus on what’s within your power and control to change not what isn’t. What you have power and control over changing, is the way you behave and respond to interpersonal stress.

If you are not taking any action and camping out in the back seat, but harboring anger about where things are going, then you’re disempowering yourself. On the other hand if you are being an aggressor and trying to control the situation with intimidation and threats, then you are abusing your power. And even if this is being done to you, well, two wrongs don’t make a right.

If you don’t believe me, ask yourself how that strategy is working for you so far? Are you any less stressed or is your blood pressure rising? So what’s the solution and best way to manage stressful work relationships?

3 very powerful and important tips

  1. What are you no longer willing to tolerate? Write down how you feel and the behaviors that are contributing to your internal stress. Get clarity about what the barriers are to accomplishing what you need to and desire in your role.
  2. Assess what is within your control to change and what is outside of your control and let it go. Focus only on what is within your control to change and do your best to show up and respond to situations with integrity. At the end of the day if you know you are doing the best you can given the circumstances you will feel empowered even if things aren’t always turning out in your favor.
  3. Recognize that you may need to make some difficult decisions that require courage and change. Choosing to leave a toxic work environment is not easy, especially when our work is important to us for a variety of reasons.

In many ways, work establishes an identity that shapes the way we relate to people and how they in turn, relate to us. People who are experiencing a career change can often feel they have lost their identity or are desperate for money. Job loss and extended unemployment can also reinforce negative thoughts and feelings such as depression, anger, anxiety, or hopelessness.

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. – Tich Nhat Hahn

Be ready, willing and able to change

As a former marriage and family therapist, who has worked with hundreds of highly distressed couples, one of the most common behavioral patterns that I saw were people trying to change their partner. They believed that if their partner would just change, everything would work out just fine. It was not until they were ready, willing and able to look at themselves, that things started to shift for the better. This was not easy, nor did it always result in a marriage staying together.

I often told my couple client’s not to be attached to the outcome, but rather be invested in the process. I say the same thing to people who are struggling with stressful work relationships. Most people are resistant to change and this resistance can become what sabotages the potential for success.

Moving onto something new once you’ve given it your all, can be perceived as a good thing. So do your best managing yourself and managing your stress in response to others and you will be on the path to success.

To learn more about how to manage stress at work, listen to EP36: How to Manage Stress at Work and Build Resilience.

Learning to communicate more effectively is essential to managing stressful work relationships. More often than not, there are barriers to communicating effectively that are the root cause of interpersonal stress.

Conversational Intelligence is a method that can provide tools to communicate in a way that builds trust, reduces conflict and minimizes stress because it allows for more successful outcomes.

To learn how to replace conflicts with conversations and reduce stressful work relationships, I have provided you with a tool to help guide you through the process of having more effective conversations. You can download it here

If you’re in a situation where you feel stuck and would like to receive professional support to free yourself from the struggle, I invite you to schedule a FREE consultation with me.

Be Confident – 

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CEO Claim The Lead

EP36: HOW TO MANAGE STRESS AT WORK AND BUILD RESILIENCE

How to Manage Stress at Work and Build Resilience

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today I’m talking about STRESS. Stress affects people’s health, well-being and workplace performance. It’s a big deal.

What is stress?

According to Oxford Dictionaries, stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.

The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, states that stress is the harmful physical and emotional responses that occur when the requirements of the job do not match the capabilities, resources or needs of the worker.

Did you know?

► Up to 90% of all medical visits are stress-related

► Chronic stress costs the US Business Economy approximately 600 billion a year

► Your perception of stress radically alters your physiological reaction to it.

It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it. – Hans Selye ‘father of stress research’

Unmanaged stress can lead to burnout

Chronic work stress and an inability to manage it can lead to job burnout. Burnout is a challenge for many people in the workforce, particularly in healthcare. Many organizations are responding to burnout by offering support services to increase employee resilience. And although this is much needed, this approach falls short – because, most organizations are not engaged in addressing the root cause of burnout.

The root cause can be a toxic work environment that consists of work overload, time pressured and unreasonable deadlines, lack of control, low levels of trust and communication challenges that make it hard to understand leadership’s decisions, conflicting values, high performance expectations and low moral.

Resilience training, wellness programs and individual coaching are strategies that employees can participate in to prevent and/or recover from job burnout. Although, if the root cause of burnout is driven by poor management systems of the organization, then a more holistic approach would address this as well.

Let’s come back to stress and take a closer look at its impact in the workplace, as well as some strategies to help minimize extreme stress and burnout.

Stressed at work? 

You’re not alone. In the US, 77% of people regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress and 48% feel their stress has increased over the past 5 years. 

The most common workplace stressors are: 

► Demands, Can you cope?

► Control, Do you have a say?

► Recognition, Are you rewarded properly? 

► Change, Are you supported? 

► Wellbeing, Are you safe? 

► Support, Do you have it? 

We can’t reach our full potential and peak performance at work without some stress, let’s call it stimulation. However, too much stress leads to individual burnout and organizational collapse. Problems arise when everyday work stimulation turns into mismanaged stress and leads to feeling more pressure and anxiety. 

There are ways to use the right amount of stress to your advantage at work as long as you are able to regulate your response to stressors in a way that makes you stronger rather than weaker. A good level of challenge is essential for innovation and development, yet too much of a challenge or too many can cause all systems to break down to the point of failure.

3 keys to managing stress and building resilience

(1) Learn how YOU react to stress. What is stressful for you may not be for others. Increase your self-awareness and recognize the impact of your personality traits and characteristics. For example, you might find it stressful when you have to meet new people, whereas some people thrive in such a situation. If different types of people have different causes of stress, it follows that people need different coping techniques.

Knowing how you experience stress can help you find the most effective methods to relax and there is no single best way to get there – each of us has our own path. Not everyone will benefit from body-focused relaxers like yoga, just as meditation may not be the most effective way to fight stress for each person. – Daniel Goleman

(2) Identify the source of the stress and develop coping techniques that work for you. Work on building resilience against chronic stress by learning how to better prepare for each day. This will help you solve problems as they arise, so they don’t pile up and bury you. Create short-term goals and take action proactively.

(3) Talk to others. Share your stress triggers and reactions so you can provide mutual support. Do your best to reduce unnecessary work tasks and restore work-life balance.

The American Psychological Association recommends the following suggestions for things you can do now to manage your stress:

📌 Seek support through family and friends
📌 Nurture a positive view of yourself
📌 Keep things in perspective
📌 Look for opportunities for self-discovery
📌 Take decisive actions to act on adverse situations
📌 Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems
📌 Do things you enjoy and find relaxing
📌 Maintain a hopeful outlook
📌 Take regular exercise
📌 Accept that change is a part of living
📌 Develop realistic goals and move towards them

Can work stress influence health?

Our health and wellbeing can be influenced by work, both positively and negatively.
Work can provide a goal and meaning in life. It can give structure and content to our day, week, year, and life. It may offer us identity, self-respect, social support, and material rewards.

This is likely to happen when work demands are optimal, when we are allowed to exercise a reasonable degree of autonomy, and when the culture and climate of the work organization is friendly and supportive. If this is so, work can be one of the most important health-promoting factors in life!

If however, work conditions are characterized by the opposite attributes, they are likely to cause or accelerate ill health in the long run or trigger its symptoms. When we are exposed to these or related stressors, most of us experience emotional reactions such as anxiety, depression, uneasiness, restlessness, or fatigue.

Stress at work can also influence our behaviors, making some of us start smoking more, or overeating, seeking comfort in alcohol or taking unnecessary risks at work or in traffic. Many of these behaviors can lead to disease and premature death. Suicide is one of many examples.

We also react physiologically, with our internal organs. When we feel unjustly criticized by our supervisor, our blood pressure may increase; we may experience increased or irregular heart rate, or muscular tension, with subsequent pain in the neck, head, and shoulders, or dryness of our throat and mouth, or heartburn because of overproduction of acid gastric juice.

All of these stress reactions can make us suffer, become ill, and even die – through diseases of the heart and blood vessels, or cancer (from smoking too much, or eating too much fatty food and too little nutritional fiber).

In this way, virtually every aspect of work-related health and disease can be influenced. This can also be mediated through emotional and or cognitive misinterpretation of conditions of work as threatening, even when they are not, and or trivial symptoms and signs occurring in one’s own body as manifestations of serious disease.

All this can lead to a wide variety of disorders, diseases, loss of wellbeing, and loss of productivity.

On one hand stress is inevitable. What is not inevitable is prolonged, recurrent and intense stress. Healthy stress is more of a challenge than a burden and is characterized by health, productivity, vitality, and wellbeing, on both the individual and organizational level.

On the other hand, distressful consequences can be psychological, behavioral or physiological. And all can lead to decreased occupational health and safety affecting both individuals and organizations.

Let’s reflect back on The Confident Careerist Podcast’s intention for The first month of this new year and that is to Create a FRESH Start!

You can start a new year in a completely new and different way after perhaps being unsuccessful in certain areas of your life. It’s an opportunity for you to start-off with the intention to invest in your success by putting a plan in place to best manage your stress and build your resilience to improve your health and wellbeing at work.

To best manage your stress and build resilience

  1. Learn how you react to stress through self-awareness.
  2. Identify the source of the stress and develop coping techniques that work for you.
  3. Talk to others and provide mutual support.
ep35 The Confident Careerist Podcast

EP35: 3 ESSENTIAL STEPS TO MAKE INFORMED CAREER DECISIONS

ep35 The Confident Careerist Podcast

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life. 


Meet Mollie, she is a busy mid-career professional who holds a high stress position with a large company and is struggling to define her professional identity and feel secure in her career decisions. 

She wishes she woke up feeling fulfilled and energized to tackle her goals, but there’s just one problem – she’s not entirely sure what her goals are for her future. Because of that, Mollie is often consumed by negative thoughts and worries about the uncertainty of her indecisions. She is lacking presence in her relationships and with herself and feels stuck sitting at hesitation station. 

What she really wants is to gain clarity and confidence so that she can move forward, let go of the past, and find more meaning along her career path, instead of making excuses. Ultimately Mollie wants to live her life to the fullest, get unstuck for good and be happy and successful in her work-life.

You might be able to relate to ALL or parts of Mollie’s experience. You are not alone. Mollie took action by making the decision to invest in a career coach to help her gain clarity, confidence and direction she needed to get unstuck and move forward. Keep listening, as I share 3 important steps she took to do just that.

Become self-aware

Searching for the right career path requires establishing a career plan. A critical part of the career planning process is becoming self-aware, before even identifying career options and making important career decisions. Finding a path for your career that is meaningful and satisfying requires self-assessment to gain the self-awareness you’ll need to make informed career-decisions. This means exploring your true interests and passions, your values and personality preferences, as well as your strengths and transferable skills. 

WHO before WHAT

Gaining clarity about WHO you are will naturally lead you in the right direction towards WHAT it is that you want to do. This holds true whether you are a recent graduate and just launching your career or if you are an early, mid or late career professional who is looking for greater satisfaction in your current role or making a career change. There are several other factors that need to be taken into consideration when it comes to making important career decisions – Such as, what is your ideal work environment, what level of responsibility do you want and desire, and what are your salary requirements and preferences?

Career planning

Career planning helps you develop the “picture of your ideal job”. By exploring first WHO you are, followed by researching possible career and work options that fit your personality, you will be better equipped to consider economic realities and make important career decisions in a thoughtful way.

The first step of career planning that will most certainly inform your career decisions, is to ask yourself a few questions that probably don’t initially seem very career focused. By answering these 3 seemly simple questions, you will have more self-knowledge about your interests.

📌 In your free time, what do you like to do?

📌  What are your hobbies? You may not have realized it until now, but many hobbies are also industries. Therefore, if you identify a favorite hobby, you may also have identified a favorite field. This applies whether you are just starting out or itching for a change.

📌  When friends come to you for help with problems or questions, what are the kinds of problems or questions for which they seek your advice?

Create the life you envision

It is possible to transform your interests into job targets. This is a process that I coach my clients through to help them create the kind of life that they envision for themselves. Especially those who feel like they are stuck in a rut and want to do something that feels more like they are truly making a difference at the end of the day. The focus is on both self-understanding and gaining knowledge about the job market.

The second key step of the career planning process is to identify your strengths and transferable skills. What makes a transferable skill a strength is when you identify the skill as something you are highly proficient in and that you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it and it’s not important to you then it’s not a true strength.

What are transferable skills?

They are the basic building blocks of a job that are not routed in any particular fields or content. A transferable skill is a developed aptitude or ability and is considered a functional skill. I help my clients identify their top 5 transferable skills through a combination of formal and informal assessments. This brings clarity, validation and confidence to their strengths and ability to move to the next steps of career goal setting.

Develop an action plan

The third step is to know that career decision-making is a process that takes time. It involves retrieving comparative information about career options, testing assumptions and drawing conclusions and looking at the pros and cons of the different job targets that have been identified. And finally, to develop a comprehensive action plan that showcases both your strengths and accomplishments so that you are following a career path that is meaningful and satisfying and supports your lifestyle.

Set yourself up for success

If you truly want to get a head start in your career, whether you are just starting out or making a significant career change, first you have to be willing to explore who you are on a deeper level. What you are choosing to do for a living is not just a job that provides a paycheck, it is something that inspires you and motivates you to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

The career planning and decision-making process is not a fast-track to success; however, if you take the time to gain clarity about your requirements and preferences you will set yourself up for long-term success, not just short-term gratification.

And lastly, feeling confident in the decisions you make about your life and your future is empowering. When you feel empowered it shows in your actions and success is accelerated along your chosen career path because you are more focused, strategic and values driven.


Once Mollie was able to identify and acknowledge her true strengths and values, her confidence in herself grew and her motivation for creating positive change in her life became unstoppable. She began to advocate for herself more at work and received a promotion that provided her with the level of responsibility and support that she desired. She also gained greater clarity about the skill areas that she wants to further development and as a result, she created a short term and long-term plan for her success.

Mollie is happy in her new role and trusts that her career planning will keep her from feeling stuck. She has a renewed sense of purpose at work that has positively influenced other important areas of her life.

If you are listening to this episode and can relate to Mollie’s struggles and want to get unstuck, feel a renewed sense of purpose at work and keep moving forward along a career path that is both meaningful and satisfying – then I invite you to reach out for support – I’m here to to guide you.

Bye for now!

Creating a FRESH Start in 2020

EP34: Creating a FRESH START

Creating a FRESH Start in 2020

EP34: Creating a FRESH START in 2020

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


It’s a New Year and a New Decade!

This is an opportunity for all of us to create a FRESH START, which means you can start a new year in a completely new and different way after perhaps being unsuccessful in certain areas of your life.

It’s a big chance for you to start-off with the intention to invest in your success by devoting quality time and energy toward your personal growth and professional development in the year 2020.

I will be your guide to help you be both happy and successful at whatever it is you are intending to put your focus and energy towards this first month of the new year and new decade!

Let’s start-off with a FRESH START and create a new and different way to improve your work-life.

Are you with me?

Okay, then we’ve got to set the stage if we want to experience something new and different this year. With that said, I have a five very important questions for you.

You’ll want to write these down. If you’re not in a place to write them down at the moment, don’t worry! I will provide a special link to these questions titled “FRESH START”, in the show notes.

Why is this important?

To create a FRESH START and approach things in your life in a new and different way, you must assess the things that you are no longer willing to tolerate, that drain your energy and suck the living-life right out of you.

This ensures that when it comes time to create momentum and move forward at a healthy pace, you won’t be stuck sitting at hesitation station wondering why you have so much resistance to living a more meaningful life.

That’s what setting the stage for experiencing something new and different can do for you and what these 5 questions are designed for. They guide you down the right path that leads to greater success and happiness.

Are you still with me?

Okay, good! I’m glad you’re still here.

I believe you can create an ideal work life. However, this requires taking full responsibility and accountability for your personal growth and professional development.

That means you have to become self-aware of what part you are playing in the narrative of your life and make a conscious choice to change whatever it is you keep complaining about.

You will complain less, if stop blaming others for your dissatisfaction. Yes, I know there are many things in life that are outside of your control AND there are many things that are also within your control.

Get clear on what is outside of your control and stop giving it your time and energy because it will drain you. Instead get clear on what is within your control and focus your time, energy and resources on changing this and only this.

You’ve heard it before…and it’s still true in 2020! You can’t change another person you can only change how your respond to them or the situation.

Empower yourself and claim the lead in your life. Stop sitting in the passenger’s seat of your life being driven around to places you don’t even want to go. Take the wheel, pick your route and start traveling in the right direction.

Let me be your guide!

I’d be happy to help. Why should you listen to me? Well it’s your choice to do so or not of course, but I will share with you something that I am not particularly proud of, but it has led me here doing what I love and for that I am grateful.

Here’s something I have never shared before….

Since graduating from college, I have changed careers 7, yes SEVEN TIMES!

And while I was working as a licensed mental health professional, I went through many career pivots in my 40’s.

What is a career pivot?

A career pivot is the act of finding a different career, which is still reliant on your current skills, but helps you move into a new trajectory. … Often the draw of a career pivot, compared to a career change, is that you don’t have to restart at the bottom of the ladder. In the past 10 years I have made probably about 5 pivots as I had the opportunity to specialize in different areas of the mental health field.

NOW as a certified career and life coach, I feel I am on a solid path that I love and for once in my life it feels easy. I’m in the flow and thoroughly enjoy helping people create their ideal career path that brings as much joy and meaning as mine does.

If you want to learn more about my career journey, please listen to Episode 33.

Before I reveal the five questions that will allow you to set the stage for your future happiness and success. I would like to spend a few minutes informing you about the distinctions between traditional psychotherapy and coaching.

The distinctions can be considered in 3 broad categories:

The first category is Past vs Future. There are different perspectives on the process. Therapy frequently focuses on the past and generally assumes the client has a problem that needs solving; coaching focuses on the future and assumes the client is whole and has the innate wisdom and tools to have a wonderful life.

The second category is Fix vs Create. There is a difference in why clients seek services. Clients generally seek a therapist as a resource to fix or eliminate their problems; clients seek a coach to assist them in getting more out of their lives or creating new possibilities in their lives.

The third category is different characteristics of the helper-client relationship. Therapy clients generally see the therapist as an expert who holds the answers and techniques to fix their problems; coaching clients see the coach as a partner to support their growth and efforts to create an even better life than they have now.

Coaching is not about fixing; it’s about creating.”

As a licensed mental health professional who has fully transitioned into career, life and leadership coaching, I work with people who are more interested in designing a future rather than getting over a past.

Clients who want to live their life more fully both personally and professionally value having a personal coach. Because of this, professional men and women and entrepreneurial small business owners, hire me because they want their vocation to reflect their values.

I coach career-oriented early and mid-career professionals on how to develop, grow and advance along their career path. I help men and women build the confidence they need to go after career dreams and live the life they envision for themselves.

My primary focus is on guiding and empowering them to make decisions and set goals based on knowledge of themselves and the market and take steps to realize their fullest potential.

Through a blend of coaching, counseling, proven step-by-step strategies and methods layered with direct feedback and a holistic non-judgmental approach, I give my clients the specific tools they need to design and manage a career that provides greater flexibility, freedom, success and happiness.

Asking Powerful Questions is one of the many tools I provide…

Here’s the first question:

#1 What are you no longer willing to tolerate in your life, work and relationships? These are the things you typically complain about, resist and drain your energy.

#2 What are the things in your life, work and relationships that you feel are going well for you right now? In other words, what is working for you.

#3 What would make these things even better for you? What needs to happen in order to improve these areas of your life?

#4 Where do you want to be in 3, 6, 12 months from now? What is the most important goal or big dream that you want to achieve?

#5 What are the problems that need to be solved in order to get there?

BONUS QUESTION: What is your intention for 2020?

I have created a handy dandy online form for you to review and answer these powerful questions to make it easy and accessible so that you will DO IT and you will receive a copy to refer to for future reference. 

This is just the beginning of your FRESH START so stay tuned for the next episode.

The Confident Careerist: Season 3

EP33: THE CONFIDENT CAREERIST

The Confident Careerist: Season 3

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast!

Yes, this is SEASON 3 and a rebrand and refocus of the podcast from Season 1 & 2 of the Claim The Lead title.

SEASON 3 is for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life. 

Research consistently shows that more than 50% of professionals in the workforce are unhappy in their position. With so many looking to make career changes, but not knowing how to achieve their goals, career and life coaching are becoming increasingly important.


Today I want to share my story with you…

In this episode, I share some details about my own personal career journey and how I got to where I am today. There’s a theme you might pick up as you listen and that is a lack of guidance. Because I lacked the guidance along my life and career path, I provide this missing link for my clients. I engage them in powerful questions to help them make the best decisions for their future. 

As a coach and a counselor, I provide valuable services that foster personal and professional development that leads to greater confidence, success and happiness in your work-life. I offer a holistic and comprehensive approach as a career, life and leadership coach that addresses the whole person in order to support work-life alignment and long-term job satisfaction. 

I provide professionals with a structured process toward determining their next career step, setting goals based on knowledge of themselves and the market, and taking steps to realize their fullest potential. 

I am equipped to provide you with the best support possible, as I’m recognized by the National Career Development Association (NCDA) as a Certified Career Counselor (CCC). I hold the Global Career Development Facilitator (GCDF) credential through the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE). I completed a rigorous training program and earned the Certified Career Transition Coach (CCTC) credential from Career Thought Leaders (CTL) that signifies understanding of coaching best practices and career decision-making processes. I am also a Certified Conversational Intelligence Coach (CC-IQ) and a licensed mental health professional (LMFT) who values and understands the impact that mental and emotional health can have on the longevity of your vocation.

 My clients can approach our work together with confidence, knowing that they will have the structure, flexibility, and resources they need to navigate some of life’s most important challenges.

The Confident Careerist Podcast is a place to explore all things career and to give you the tools you need to be happy and content in your work life. 

Thank you listening to today’s episode. If you would like more individualized coaching and support I invite you to schedule a 30-minute consultation session with me – it’s Free!

Until next time – Be Confident! 

EP32

ESSENTIALS OF AN END-OF-THE-YEAR CAREER CHECK UP!

EP32

Is It Time For Your Career Check Up?

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. 

My name is Teena Evert, I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in their work-life. I help you unlock your possibilities and find a career you love for life!

In this episode, I talk about the Essentials of having an End-of-the-Year Career Check up!

📌 Take a brief self-assessment to determine your overall satisfaction level in your work-life.

📌 Learn what the two types of career portfolios, when to use them, and how to get started

📌 Create a support plan to create your end-of-the-year career portfolio


It’s time for a career check up!

If you’re anything like me you wait until the end of the year to see your doctor for your yearly well-woman visit. Well, I actually have to wait one calendar year for it to be covered by my Insurance provider and it keeps getting pushed back further and further. Soon it will be at the beginning of the new year, rather than at the very end.

However, just like going in for our yearly check up at the doctor’s, which is essential to stay on top of your health, it’s also essential to have a career check up and what better time than the end-of-the-year!

This episode was sparked by many of my clients who have either recently been let go from their current job or are looking to advance their career by making a career pivot. Whatever the case may be for you, knowing the essentials of a career check up can help you gain new employment and also advance in your current career or potential career pivot.

What do I mean by a Career Check Up?

Well first things first. Get out a piece of paper and something to write with. We’re going to do some scoring between 1-10. 1 is really lousy feeling and a 10 is really great.

  1. What score out of 10 would you give for how SATISFIED you are with your life overall?
  2. If you were to give a score out of 10 for how much FUN you’re having in life, what would it be?
  3. If you were to give a score out of 10 for how HAPPY you are in your current CAREER, what would that number be?
  4. Give a score out of 10 for how overwhelmed, BUSY, or stressed you usually feel.

☑️ What’s your self-assessment of how your doing with your overall satisfaction in your work-life?

☑️ What could be improved in your life at the moment?

If you’re like many of my clients, there is plenty of room for improvement.

One of the best ways to get clear on WHAT it is exactly that needs improvement and HOW you’re going to improve is by creating a year-end Career Portfolio.

Career Portfolio

A Career Portfolio is a visual, organized and portable collection of documents and artifacts that provides a cumulative record of your experience, skills, knowledge, accomplishments, and attributes. There are actually two types of portfolios: the master portfolio and the presentation portfolio.

First, I’ll talk about the master career portfolio by explaining WHAT it is, HOW it can help you and WHAT it should include.

Next, I’ll talk about the presentation portfolio by explaining what should be included in it and specifically what it can be used for.

I strongly encourage you to make the creation of your career portfolio a priority as we approach the end of the year and begin a new. Your portfolio will help inspire you to grow in your career and be more open to new possibilities and opportunities that come your way.

If you did not score an 8 higher on the scoring exercise that we did together at the beginning of this episode, then it’s time to get some additional support to help you create positive change that leads to greater overall work-life satisfaction.

I provide comprehensive career services to my clients to help them launch or advance in their career. If you would like to learn more about what services are best for you please schedule a FREE 30-minutes consultation session with me.

Wishing you all success on your career journey!

ep31

COMMUNICATE TO POSITIVELY PERSUADE AND INFLUENCE OTHERS

ep31

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

In this episode, How To Communicate To Positively Persuade and Influence Others –  you’ll learn: 

📌 Tips for building alliances with others

📌 How to make an unforgettable first impression

📌 5 Steps to follow to respond to any question successfully

📌 Negotiation strategies for getting agreement without giving in

Important tips for building alliances

Let’s start with learning some important tips for building alliances with others

It’s wise to build alliances with other groups or departments in the workplace because this will help you strengthen your relationships at work and open the door for new opportunities.

Keep in mind that the common goal in communication is a mutual exchange of ideas. You don’t need to know a person well to share that common goal. When building alliances with others it’s important for you to be open to finding common ground.

4 reasons we enter into conversations

We also get into conversations for different reasons at different times and in different settings. Here are 4 main reasons we enter into conversations:

  1. To get information and learn from the person we’re talking to.
  2. To build our contacts through connecting and networking with the person on a business level.
  3. For friendship to get to know more about someone on a personal level, as well as to build a solid foundation for business networking.
  4. For convenience, as there are times when we need someone to talk to 1:1 or at a gathering.

Tips for building alliances with groups

With that said, consider the following 8 tips for building alliances with other groups or departments:

  1. Understand what building an alliance can do for you, your group, the other group and the organization as a whole.
  2. Listen carefully to the struggles of the other group.
  3. Network for support from the other group.
  4. Seek to collaborate cross-functionally when you can.
  5. Support the other group’s leader.
  6. Become visible to top management.
  7. Seek to know the goals and the values of the group.
  8. Use time outside the office wisely to build rapport with others.

Have you used any of these tips to help your relationship become more solid?

If so, note which ones have you used? And Which are difficult for you?

Set the stage for success

To best prepare yourself and correctly “set the stage” for interacting with another department or group consider the following questions:

► Why are you building this alliance?
► What do you really want from this interaction?
► What is the purpose of it?
► How do I want it to go?

How to make an unforgettable first impression

Whether you’re networking, in an interview or a business meeting, a good first impression opens you up to new opportunities. People create impressions very quickly and it’s difficult to change a negative first impression. Therefore, the first impression should be unforgettably positive.

Many times first impressions just – don’t seem fair because even though the first glance doesn’t give you an accurate portrait of the real, complex person, people often judge by those fleeting impressions. No matter what your physical attributes or wardrobe limitations, make the most of your opportunity to make a positive first impression.

Here’s some tips on how to do just that:

► Start the conversation on the same note you want it to end on, whether in a business or an informal setting.
► Be interesting and interested in the person or people you are with.
► Greet others with confidence. Even if you feel nervous, you can act confident by having an open body posture, eye contact, clarity in tone and volume when speaking.
► Be attentive by offering a warm smile and being fully present with whom you’re speaking with. A warm smile is welcome in any setting and paying a little bit of attention to a person goes a long way.
► Consider what you can carry or wear that makes you unique and notable. This will help you stand out and be remembered.
► Be open, calm, confident, present, courteous and attentive first, because how you listen is as important as what you say.

Often times we can get tongue tied or go blank when asked a question on the spot, even if it’s a question we know the answer to – such as, what do you do?

Clear and assertive communication

Clear and assertive communication helps you express your thoughts with clarity and validity. Communication skills enable you to think on your feet and express your point of view effectively. When you’re put on the spot, it can be challenging to assert yourself.

5 key steps to think on your feet

Here are – 5 key steps to help you think on your feet when challenged and assert yourself effectively:

  1. Listen carefully and pay close attention to what is being said.
  2. Pause to organize your thoughts.
  3. Repeat the question to avoid misinterpretation.
  4. Give just one main response.
  5. Take your time and be mindful not to end on an excuse or become defensive.

There are several other factors that I’d like you to keep in mind that will put power and confidence in your communication.

► Use “I” statements to take full accountability and responsibility for your experience and how you feel, rather than cast the blame on others.
► Keep responses clear and concise.
► Slow down verbally.
► Monitor your tone of voice.
► Be aware of your nonverbal messages.
► Use active listening techniques.
► Maintain eye contact.
► Use emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence

A critical component of effective leadership attributed to Daniel Goleman’s best seller “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” defines Emotional Intelligence or EI as the capacity to recognize our own feelings and those of others for motivating and managing emotions in ourselves and in our relationships.

EI consists of these 5 attributes:

  1. Self-Awareness: Having the ability to recognize your emotional triggers and often to explore and embrace why, you have these emotional triggers. Self Awareness is also about being able to fully acknowledge and embrace your strengths, weaknesses and values and know what drives or motivates you.
  2. Self-Management or Self-Regulation: Is about having better control of your disruptive emotions and the ability to change circumstances. The ability to keep your cool, stay calm and positive in order to communicate more effectively with others in tough situations.
  3. Empathy: Is the ability to identify with or understand the perspective, experiences or motivations of another individual and be able to comprehend and share another individual’s emotional state.
  4. Relationship Management: Is the importance of having rapport with others in the workplace. Relationship management is essential for making authentic connections and managing distractions, so that you can be more productive and less stressed.
  5. Effective Communication: Effective communication is 7% the words we say and 90% tone and body language. Failing to communicate effectively in a workplace, leads to frustration, bitterness and confusion among employees. Learning the skills to communicate effectively can eliminate obstacles and encourage stronger workplace relationships.

Keep in mind that your Emotional Intelligence is flexible and can always be improved because you can train your brain. Your intelligence (IQ) gets you the interview your emotional intelligence (EIQ) gets you promoted. Researchers and business experts agree that people with high emotional intelligence are consistently top performers in their organizations. Leadership success is only 7% intellect, the rest results from trust, integrity, authenticity, honesty, creativity, presence and resilience.

Negotiation strategies

Let’s move on to looking at some negotiation strategies for getting agreement without giving in

Many of us work with different and diverse people who also have different and diverse points of view. When negotiating effectively, we must learn how to come to a consensus and also disagree without disrespecting another person.

Knowing how to negotiate will help you establish respectful relationships and give you the best likelihood of getting what you want or getting the other person to understand and accept your point of view.

Key strategies to negotiate successfully

Here are some key strategies to help you negotiate successfully.

▶︎ Allow others to have a different point of view. It’s often easier to get through a negotiation by truly understanding the interests of the other party. Ask as many times as needed to ensure that you’re clear about what they are asking for. Stephen Covey states in his work: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to listen to the other side and really understand it.”

You can encourage and support the other person in sharing their point of view by saying, “That’s one way… or that’s an interesting way of looking at it…or hmm I hadn’t thought about it from that point of view.”

Next you want to state your own situation or point of view. Share how you see it and calmly and clearly state your situation.

You might say something like, “Here’s my situation…” and you calmly clearly state your situation and emphasize the differences and or similarities to theirs.

Collaborate and find a win-win solution. You want to make a suggestion or an alternative action or if possible suggest several options AND compromise if you can’t find a collaborative solution.

You might say, “Could we try…or I would appreciate it if you would…or How about looking at it this way?”

Keep in mind that whether it’s getting an adversary to see your point of view or winning support from someone up the ladder of control, separating positions from interests can often lead to win-win solutions. It’s very common to only hear the position the other party states. Underlying the position is thinking or reasons call interests. It’s often easier to get through a negotiation by truly understanding the interests of the other party.

This concludes the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES!

Here’s the full series

Episode 26: How to Become an Exceptional Communicator to Advance Your Career

Episode 27: Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

Episode 28: How To Build Rapport, Strengthen Your Work Relationships and Achieve Respect

Episode 29: Communicating in Tough Situations and Dealing with Difficult People at Work

Episode 30: Create An Image of a Professional and Powerful Communicator

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com 

EP30 Claim The Lead Podcast

CREATE AN IMAGE OF A PROFESSIONAL AND POWERFUL COMMUNICATOR

EP30 Claim The Lead Podcast

CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. 

My name is Teena Evert, I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in their work-life. I help you unlock your possibilities and find a career you love for life!

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn: 

📌 The antidote to fear of success or failure

📌 The importance of having a growth mindset

📌 Strategies to boost your confidence, self-esteem and strengthen your relationships with others

📌 How to get the credit you deserve


Many of my clients have asked me how to appear poised and confident even when you’re not..

In prior episodes of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES I talked about how our fear can affect our communication. One of the primary examples was when we put our foot in our mouth by speaking first and thinking later. When that happens to us, we feel so embarrassed that we get nervous about making the same mistake again in the future.

A different type of fear can occur when we’re entering a confrontational situation. Often times it’s because we’re afraid that we’ll come across as weak, or lose control of our emotions or find ourselves unable to come up with the right words.

Another is the fear of failure or even the fear of success! The antidote for fear is to know WHO you are and to take an inventory of the behaviors, attitudes and beliefs that absolutely do not serve you.

I often coach my clients in a self assessment and self exploration process to gain clarity about WHO they are before they decide WHAT they want to do. It’s the WHO before the WHAT. The following questions will help

7 questions to explore WHO you are, before deciding WHAT you want to DO!

Here are 7 questions to write down and answer for yourself when you can carve out some quality time to self-reflect and journal.

  1. What are the greatest gifts and talents and attributes that I bring to my work?
  2. How could I make a positive difference and/or contribute to others?
  3. At work, my greatest sense of fulfillment comes from?
  4. In my personal life, my greatest sense of fulfillment comes from?
  5. In my life (professional or personal), what’s the ONE THING I would set out to accomplish, if I knew I absolutely would not fail?
  6. What are my greatest moments of satisfaction, joy and happiness?
  7. The qualities I seek to express in my life are?

Your mindset

Let’s talk about your mindset. Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck was curious why some people in their life thrive – while others flounder.

She studied the underpinnings of success and achievement for over four decades. Her major contribution is the distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

So let me ask you…
Do you often try new things and push yourself into uncharted territory in your development? Or Do you tend to stick with what you know?

Your answer to these questions reveals your mindset.

Let’s explore what these mindsets really mean, why they are important, how to determine which one you have, and how to change our mindsets.

Fixed mindset

In a fixed mindset, individuals believe they are either born with talent or they’re not.
They’re either naturally good at something, or they’re not. They view intelligence as a fixed trait. They believe inborn talent determines success.

Individuals with a growth mindset believe talent comes through effort. They believe
anyone can be good at anything; that their abilities can be developed through dedication, perseverance, and the right strategy.

Growth mindset

Individuals with a fixed mindset seek to validate themselves. Individuals with a growth
mindset focus on developing themselves. Although this distinction may seem simple, the implications are enormous.

Individuals who adopt a fixed mindset rarely excel at anything. Because they believe their intelligence and abilities are what they are, they invest their energy in looking smart
instead of learning and developing.

In a fixed mindset, if you try something you’ve never done before, say skiing, you’ll likely give up after falling a few times. This “failure” will feel humiliating and you’ll probably avoid ice skating for the rest of your life. You’ll make an excuse like, “Skiing just isn’t my thing.”

If you believe someone is just a “natural born dancer” or that you “just can’t dance,” you’re holding a fixed mindset. With a fixed mindset, you avoid new challenges like the plague because you’re afraid of being judged.

When obstacles arise, you tend to give up quickly. Because you don’t have many references for how humans learn and develop, you feel that putting forth effort is a waste of time. And you secretly feel threatened and envious of the success of others. Ultimately, in a fixed mindset, you don’t have a chance to develop your potential.

It’s incredibly harmful to hold a fixed mindset, to believe intelligence and talent is static. Yet, most of us hold a fixed mindset in multiple areas of our lives.

In a growth mindset, you believe you can develop any ability through dedication and hard work. Because of this belief, you have a desire to learn. This enables you to embrace challenges and persevere when setbacks invariably arise during the learning process.

With a growth mindset, you view effort as an essential ingredient on the path to mastery.

You don’t shy away from effort; you embrace it. And when you see others succeeding on their path to mastery, you find inspiration and lessons to learn for your own development. A growth mindset leads you into an upward spiral of continuing developing, reaching ever-higher levels of personal mastery and achievement.

These self-actualizing individuals have more peak experiences, improved relationships, and greater productivity in their fields of endeavor.

Which mindset do you have?

You can also have a mixed mindset, a combination of the two, although Dweck says people tend to lean toward one or the other. You also have beliefs about your abilities and personal qualities.

How about personality? Are you simply the way you are? Can you change your personality? You can have a growth mindset for intelligence and a fixed mindset for your personality, or vice versa. And in different situations, your mindset can change.

The good news is that you have a choice. “Mindsets are just beliefs,” Dweck explains. “They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

Let’s say you identify that you have a fixed mindset in a particular area of your life.

What can you do about it? Dweck has found that just learning about the growth mindset can cause major shifts in how people view themselves and their lives.

Knowing the distinction between a growth and fixed mindsets gives you a new choice.

4-Step Process to Change Your Mindset

The key to changing your mindset lies first and foremost in self-awareness. To change your mindset, you have to be able to identify the situations that trigger a fixed mindset and observe when you’re falling into it.

Here are four steps Dweck offers on her website:

Step 1: Learn to hear your fixed mindset “voice.”
Approaching a new challenge, the voice might say, “Are you sure you can do it?” or “What if you fail?” After hitting an obstacle, you might hear, “If only you had talent,” or “I told you it was too risky.”

In the face of criticism, the voice says, “It’s not my fault,” or “Who do they think they are?” Every life and business coach knows about the inner saboteur. It’s the voice that
undermines so much of what we do; the inner critic that judges us and our work. The inner saboteur is the fixed mindset.

Once you know you have a fixed mindset, you can anticipate this voice in advance. Then,
simply listen inwardly for it.

Step 2: Recognize that you have a choice.
You can interpret these voices in two different ways: Challenges, setbacks, and criticism
can be a sign that you have fixed talent and ability. Or, they can be a sign that you need to challenge yourself, step up your effort, change your strategies, and continue to develop.

The former is obviously the fixed mindset; the latter is oriented toward growth. The key
here is to shift out of the framework of judgment (fixed) and into the arena of growth.

Step 3: Talk back to it with a growth mindset voice.
As you approach a challenge: The fixed mindset says “Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.” The growth mindset answers, “I’m not sure I can do it now, but I think I can learn to – with time and effort.”

Fixed mindset: “What if you fail—you’ll be a failure” Growth mindset: “Most successful people had failures along the way.”

As you hit a setback: Fixed mindset: “This would have been a snap if you really had talent.” Growth mindset: “That is so wrong. Basketball wasn’t easy for Michael Jordan and science wasn’t easy for Thomas Edison. They had a passion and put in tons of effort.”

As you face criticism: Fixed mindset: “It’s not my fault. It was something or someone else’s fault.” Growth mindset: “If I don’t take responsibility, I can’t fix it. Let me listen—however painful it is—and learn whatever I can.”

Step 4: Take the growth mindset action.

Once you hear the fixed mindset voice and respond to it with a growth mindset, you then determine how to take the necessary action that will lead to growth. This might include taking on a new challenge, learning from setbacks, persisting without exception, adjusting your actions based on feedback, and so on.

Next, let’s look at some strategies to boost your confidence, self-esteem and strengthen your relationships with others.

When we support others the side benefit is we boost our own confidence and self-esteem, as well as strengthen our relationships with others.

14 specific things that you can do to support others

  1. Offer to help out a coworker when you have a little spare time.
  2. Keep blank thank-you notes nearby and use them.
  3. Praise people in front of their peers.
  4. Be aware of people’s interests and hobbies. If you see an article or other information about their topic of interest, give it to them.
  5. When one of your coworkers does an exceptional job, send a note of acknowledgment to their boss.
  6. Smile and say hello to everyone with whom you work. That’s everyone!
  7. Go to lunch with someone and give them a full hour of your undivided attention – resist the temptation to talk about yourself.
  8. Continually look for ways to protect and enhance others’ self esteem.
  9. Leave a voicemail message of appreciation to someone.
  10. Ask for what you need.
  11. When you do experience anger rising, postpone your communication if you think you are going to lose it. Passive folks–you’ll be about to cry. Aggressive people–you’ll be gritting your teeth, clenching your fist and ready to explode. Wait until you’re in total calm control.
  12. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best intentions.
  13. Never, ever, ever allow yourself to get involved in gossip–even passively as a listener. If you support it in others, you approve it for yourself!
  14. Seek win/win solutions to everything. Hold the belief that what we both want is equally important–not one any more so than the other.

I encourage you to pick just two of these 14 things and do them often. Notice what starts to shift inside of you as do more intentional things to support others. Also notice how the quality of your relationships start to improve.

Another common question that my client’s ask is how to get the credit you deserve?

First, make sure you get credit for your contributions at work. This is simply about taking the great impression you’ve made at work and present yourself more confidently by claiming the credit you deserve without bragging or stealing someone else’s thunder.

I think we can all agree that humility is a great characteristic, but at some point, we need to speak up to ensure that our accomplishments and hard work are not going unnoticed. We may also need to find ways to remind others of our contributions, especially when there is evidence that someone else is claiming credit for our work.

6 ways to publicly acknowledge your wins

…so that it feels good to you and they are well received by others….

  1. Talk about your accomplishments using very measurable, quantifiable terms to support your statements, such as, “I sold 500 bikes in the fourth quarter.”
  2. Keep handy an ongoing file of all your accomplishments; you can call it your own brag file! Include important documentation of your achievements.
  3. Offer to tackle projects that reflect your skills. “I’d like to take on that job. I’ve had experience with kicking off new projects in a previous job.”
  4. Don’t complain about a difficult situation; instead acknowledge its difficulty and quickly offer a solution.
  5. Make sure to tout your entire team’s contribution to a cause, rather than just your own.
  6. Give praise to others who have helped you shine.

In order to achieve the growth and rewards we deserve in our career fields, we need to learn how to promote our value without seeming arrogant or insensitive to others’ contributions and most importantly we need to embrace a growth mindset and practice our communication skills to master them.


Tune into the next episode in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES: “Communicate To Positively Persuade and Influence Others”

RESOURCES

► TEDx Talk – The Power of Belief – Mindset and Success

► Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

► Growth Mindset Development –  Mindset Works

► Mindset Assessment Survey

Communicating in Tough Situations & Dealing With Difficult People

COMMUNICATING IN TOUGH SITUATIONS AND DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK

Communicating in Tough Situations & Dealing With Difficult People

CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. 

My name is Teena Evert, I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in their work-life.  I help you unlock your possibilities and find a career you can love for life!

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn: 

📌 Why communication breakdowns occur

📌  How to effectively communicate in conflict

📌  Ways to diffuse tense situations

📌 Surefire ways to avoid making enemies

📌 4 steps to build trust, cooperation and support

Why do communication breakdowns occur?

Let’s begin to explore this question…

Trust is the foundation for open, candid, caring conversations. When trust dissolves so does our ability to treat one another with empathy and understanding.

Consider the metaphor of a door that guards the pathway to our inner self. When we feel trust, we readily open that door, leading to an exchange of thoughts, feelings, and dreams with someone else. On the other hand, when we distrust someone, thinking that he/she is somehow a threat, we quickly slam that door shut in an effort to defend ourselves from being hurt or rejected.

The quality of the conversation drives the nature of the impact. If the impact feels good we’ll open up to more interactions and grow. If the impact feels bad we’ll close down and move into protective mode.

There are patterns about human interactions that we all share and some conversations make us healthy or unhealthy. To be healthy, human beings need to connect, belong, and be strong. We must learn to have strong points of view, have a voice, and partner with others. To sustain a feeling of safety, we’ve evolved instincts to protect ourselves or reject those who harm us.

If we manage our underlying feelings of rejection and protection, and we harness our ability to reach out to others – even when we’re feeling rejected – we gain mastery over our instincts.

Navigating tough situations

This is essential to be able to navigate tough situations and effectively deal with difficult people. When we’re having a good conversation, even it it’s a difficult one, we feel good. We feel connected to the other person in a deep way and we feel we can trust him/her. In good conversations we know where we stand with others – we feel safe.

Bad conversations trigger our distrust network and good conversations trigger our trust network. Each influences what we say, how we say it, and why we say it.

Communication breakdowns

Communication breakdowns occur when situations tap into our fears: fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and fear of losing control. Yes, a situation that can be stressful is having to have that difficult conversation.

Maybe you’re a manager who needs to address inappropriate behavior from an employee, or maybe you need to deliver bad news to a superior. These are just two examples of tough communication situations – learning how to be an effective communicator, even under the most stressful conditions, will qualify you as an exceptional communicator!

Inevitably, we’re all going to face a situation where we have to initiate a difficult conversation. Whether we’re delivering bad news, offering feedback regarding a sensitive issue or having to mediate an explosive situation, we know we need to face the situation head-on. Nobody likes to find themselves in an uncomfortable or confrontational situation.

Think about a time when you were on the receiving end of a difficult conversation.

What if anything, made the experience a little easier? What made it worse? Have you ever had to be the bearer of bad news or especially critical feedback? How did you handle it?

Key success strategies

I want to share some strategies that you can practice by applying them to various situations. Practice and preparation will boost your confidence and effectiveness the next time you’re faced with a tough communication situation.

How to effectively communicate in conflict

Let’s explore 10 Strategies you can apply to effectively communicate potential high-conflict situations:

  1. Find the best time and place with maximum privacy and minimal distractions.
  2. Determine when the other person is likely to be most open to conversation.
  3. Emphasize the positive and set expectations for a constructive discussion.
  4. Demonstrate that you understand the other point of view by objectively paraphrasing, remaining calm, and acknowledging his or her feelings.
  5. Try to focus on behavior and not personal characteristics or opinions.
  6. Don’t beat around the bush, but transitional “bridging phrases” can help get the conversation started. For example, try “I’m glad we found this chance to talk,” or “I’m sure you’re curious about why I wanted to meet.”
  7. Even though the conversation may elicit strong emotions, try not to get pulled in. Remain as calm and objective as possible, and don’t take comments personally.
  8. Remember to pay attention to body language, since the majority of communication happens through that channel – remember 58%.
  9. Tackle the issue head-on, and encourage the other person to participate so that person doesn’t feel like he or she has been called to the principal’s office. Be sure to include specific, genuine praise and end the conversation focused on the future, with action steps in place. The tone at the end should be positive and hopeful.
  10. Employ all your active listening skills and counteract defensiveness with empathy and questions that help you discover the cause of the emotional reaction.

People often ask me how to best deal with behaviors like backstabbing, ridicule and aggressive tactics, such as the challenge of being put down in front of others.

The best way to learn how to deal with these behaviors is to practice using “I” statements to manage these difficult situations. Use statements that begin with “I” is to take ownership of your part in the situation.

“I” statements are essential in these tough situations because they will:

► Reduce defensiveness
► Enable the listener to focus on the message; it’s harder to argue with facts than feelings
► Keep the exchange devoid of assumptions or judgments

Here’s How it works:
I feel…When…Because

When you state “I feel” you’re sharing a feeling, not a thinking descriptor that starts with “I think” – start with “I feel” or “I felt”. For example, “I felt embarrassed when my competency was challenged at the meeting this morning.”

When you state “When” you want to state facts, issues and behaviors and avoid personalities and labels. For example, “I felt embarrassed when my competency was challenged at the meeting when I shared my estimated time-line of the project.”

And “Because”, describes the effect or the impact. For example, “I get thrown off when I feel my competency is being challenged, because I don’t want people to be concerned about the outcome of the project.”

Using “I” statements is most likely a technique you have used before – however, have you practiced it? By practicing this technique you’ll learn to clearly communicate thoughts and feelings (and perceptions) without hurting the other person.

This technique greatly reduces defensiveness, which is a core part of many conflicts in the workplace.

Here’s one more example…Have you ever had this thought, about a coworker – “Wow you did a poor job on the project” yet you don’t want to SAY THAT, what you want to verbally communicate is, “I’m not satisfied with the work that you’ve done on the project because I know that you can do better.”

Practice, practice, practice and you’ll see your conflicts dissipate faster. Another way to avoid allowing negative communication to develop into even more drama, is to separate your thoughts from your feelings. This technique will help you quickly defuse explosive or tense situations.

First rule of them is when you’re dealing with a volatile communication situation and another person is directing their anger at you – you want to first listen to their concerns and validate them.

No matter how easygoing we think we are, chances are we’re going to find ourselves in a heated discussion that only seems to be escalating. Use these strategies to defuse almost any explosive communication situation.

5 important strategies to defuse a hostile situation

Become keenly aware and observant of your own body language and consider these 5 tips…

  1. Relax your face, neck, and arm muscles, and open your stance, with your arms casually at your sides. Try to keep a neutral facial expression and initiate eye contact.
  2. Put one foot forward and one foot back, shifting your weight slightly to the back foot, which makes your stance less intimidating and also prepares you to take a few steps back if you feel you need to.
  3. As you look at the person, work hard not to roll your eyes, mumble under your breath, tighten your mouth or in any other way give him or her nonverbal fuel for the fire. Instead, nod appropriately to demonstrate that you’re listening.
  4. As the person begins to calm down (trust that they will -be patient here) try walking away from your location in hopes that he or she will follow you and the whole situation can be moved to a new location, and in the process, a more productive conversation may ensue.
  5. Be aware at all times of who is around, where your escape routes are, where you cell phone is and who you might call for help in case things get worse.

A few other tips for successfully defusing explosive or tense situations:

►Demonstrate active listening, because often those who initiate these explosive situations feel that no one has been listening, which is how it got to this point.
►Validate the emotions the person is feeling even if you think they’re out of place.
►Don’t engage in disagreement or deep discussion. Once the situation calms down, schedule another time (soon) to start the conversation again on a more constructive note.
►Bring in a neutral third party if appropriate, but be careful that the other person doesn’t perceive that you’re ganging up on him or her.

Knowing how to defuse an explosive situation can mean the difference literally between life and death.

Surefire ways to AVOID making enemies

Making enemies at work is never effective. Instead, foster teamwork and collaboration.

Here are 3 ways you make enemies AND several surefire ways to AVOID them:

  1. Always being right or making others look wrong – why? Because this will humiliate others and no one likes to be humiliated. Say, “I may be wrong, let’s look at this together…” or “Do you have a different approach?”
  2. Tell people they shouldn’t feel they do. No one has the right to do this, because whatever a person feels – they are entitled to that emotion.
  3. Ridicule and abuse should be avoided at all costs. People won’t work well for you if you if they are mistreated. Additionally they will have the right to seek legal aid if abused. Just don’t do it. This is a form of mental and emotional violence that has no place in the workplace. When you’re frustrated with a co-worker, discuss the behavior that’s bothering you using “I” statements and discuss a mutual solution.

4 steps to build trust, cooperation and support from your co-workers, employees and your boss.

  1. Be friendly and open with others in the workplace, yet be discerning about the personal information that you disclose. You don’t want to tell your whole life story it this information is not relevant to your work culture, role or position.
  2. At the same time, be yourself! If you try to show off all your good qualities and overdo it, people are going to know that you’re trying too hard. The confident and comfortable you are in your own skin the more you will demonstrate your good qualities through your actions.
  3. Be transparent and talk about your goals and challenges. People like to be helpful and will try to provide you with direction and encouragement.
  4. Make new friends. Get to know people and don’t be afraid to let your guard down a little.

These steps will help you increase the level of trust, cooperation and support in the workplace.


Listen to other episodes in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES:

EP26: How To Become an Exceptional Communicator To Advance Your Career

EP27: Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

EP28: How To Build Rapport, Strengthen Work Relationships and Achieve Respect

EP30: “Create an Image of a Professional Powerful Communicator”

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com 

EP28 how to build rapport strengthen work relationships and achieve respect

HOW TO BUILD RAPPORT, STRENGTHEN WORK RELATIONSHIPS AND ACHIEVE RESPECT

EP28 how to build rapport strengthen work relationships and achieve respect

Strengthen your work relationships and advance your career

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. 

My name is Teena Evert, I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in their work-life.  I help you unlock your possibilities and find a career you can love for life!

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn: 

📌 The importance of being open to influence

📌 Conversational essentials and effective interpersonal skills

📌  Vital interpersonal skills shared by influential people

📌  How to establish rapport with someone you just met

Be open to influence

Being open to influence is the overarching mindset and attitude in order to really utilize all of these communication skills in a masterful and consistent way. When we’re open to influence we are connecting without judgement. We’re engaging and listening to what others are saying, rather than preparing for what we want to say next. When working with others it’s essential that we cultivate an open mindset and embody curiosity in order to deeply hear what others are saying without filtering it through our own agenda.

Being open to influence is the foundation for building rapport and strengthening our personal and professional relationships.

Our Brains are designed to be social and the need to belong is more powerful than the need for safety. When we feel rejected it activates our fear networks in our brain and increases the levels of a stress hormone, cortisol, which shifts us into a protective guarded behavior.

When we focus on inclusion and appreciation we reduce the level of cortisol and increase the levels of the bonding hormone, oxytocin.

Did you know that when we move from judging to appreciating we activate our sense of self and feel more connected and confident overall?

Let’s minimize the types of conversations that trigger fear, power plays, uncertainty, and a need to be right. Let’s reinforce the types of conversations that inspire transparency, relationship building, understanding, a shared vision of success, truth and empathy.

The need to connect is the most powerful force than any other in the universe. It is our nature to connect and choose belonging over safety.

How do you build rapport? It is not listening to understand, but listening to connect. How do you listen with non-judgment?

The importance of listening

▶︎ Transformational listening begins with the practice of listening to connect not judge or reject
▶︎ It’s bigger than listening to understand, which is more about listening to confirm what you know.
▶︎ It’s a way of listening to the other person with a focus on them not you.
▶︎ This releases a high level of the bonding hormone oxytocin into our body.

Listening to connect moves you to a more compassionate space as you focus your attention on the other person:

▶︎ What are they trying to say? What are they thinking? What are they hoping you will help them explore?

People thrive on connection and affirmation, not criticism and judgment.

When we listen to connect we improve our ability to connect, navigate and grow with others. We make better friends, better parents, better partners, better leaders, bosses, supervisors and co-workers.

Effective interpersonal skills is the key to success

Having strong interpersonal skills can magnify your personal power. Interpersonal communication describes the way we relate and connect with others, whether one-on-one, in small groups, or even one-to-many. This encompasses a wide variety of factors, including what we say, how we say it and how we behave while we’re saying it.

It’s a combination of the content of our speech and the nonverbal communication (body language, vocal tone, etc.) that affects, whether we’re able to get the intention of our message delivered and understood.

Several studies have been done and though the exact percentages vary, it’s generally accepted that when communicating face-to-face, about 7% of the communication is verbal meaning the words that you use that inform WHAT you say, and the rest is 55% visual (body language) and 38% vocal (tone of voice).

When communicating over the phone research found 84% of communication is vocal and 16% is verbal.

15 Vital Interpersonal Skills, shared by Influential People

Note how you measure up?

  1. Ability to work with people
  2. Social poise, self-assurance and confidence
  3. Ability to be considerate of others
  4. Communicates with professionalism, diplomacy and tact
  5. Has high emotional intelligence
  6. Ability to analyze facts, understand and solve problems
  7. Ability to make decisions
  8. Ability to maintain high standards
  9. Tolerance and patience
  10. Honesty and objectivity
  11. Organization and time management
  12. Ability to delegate effectively
  13. Enthusiasm and positivity
  14. Persuasiveness
  15. High concern for communication

How did you measure up?

Red flags

Here are some important interpersonal red flags to be aware of. As I share them please note which, if any- you’re challenged with:

►A weak or tentative handshake
► Nervous laugh or giggle
► Constantly apologizing
► Closed posture
► Inconsistent eye contact
► Nervous gestures, twitching, or rocking/swaying side-to-side
► Failure to speak up
► Extensive vocal pauses and filler words (um, uh, like, ya know, so, etc.)

If you find yourself challenged with any of these red flags, consider how you start to make improvements.

The first step is to be aware of what you’re doing by paying attention to aspects of your interpersonal communication style. Then you can make small adjustments than dramatically increase your personal power.

I’d like to share another way you can initially diminish your personal power, yet also recover quickly. Have you ever experienced an embarrassing communication moment where you put your foot in your mouth? I think we probably all have experienced this. It’s inevitable that if we choose to communicate, at some point in time, we’ll say the wrong thing at the wrong time. If we give into the fear of saying something wrong, it’ll become a barrier to communicating effectively.

You’re not alone. Most of us will do this at some point. What’s important is that we learn from it and move forward.

4 tips to recover from an embarrassing communication experience

  1. Assess the damage. Quickly assess the potential damage; if the effect is minimal, make a quick apology and move on. If more damage control is necessary, schedule a private face-to-face meeting to formally and sincerely apologize.
  2. Take responsibility. Determine what action you need to take to acknowledge the mistake publicly, to appease the offended party.
  3. Take action if necessary. Keep your reaction in line with the scope of the offense, and don’t make a bigger deal of something than you need to, because the truth is, people often quickly forget.
  4. Review your communication behaviors and make adjustments.

Keep in mind that sometimes we all speak before we think, but that’s not a reason to shut down. Instead, I encourage you to develop recovery strategies to regain your confidence as an effective communicator.

How to establish rapport with someone you just met

One of the first aspects of becoming an exceptional communication is building rapport with others. Until this aspect of communication is established – little else will be accomplished. People generally won’t listen well to someone they don’t feel a connection with. As I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, connection is the bond on which trust is built and you have credibility once a person trusts you.

The common goal in communication is a mutual exchange of ideas. You don’t need to know a person well to share that common goal.

6 important tips to improve your chances of being accepted

If you would like to increase your chances of being accepted into a group of people, even if you’re unsure if you have anything in common with them, apply these 6 tips:

  1. Be open to a mutual exchange of ideas
  2. Let go of your fear of not being liked or being different
  3. Take a chance and say hello!
  4. Think of what you want to learn from this interaction
  5. Don’t be on the defensive because your body language or voice tone will repel rather than attract – maintain a relaxed and open body posture
  6. Smile

3 learning styles

Another aspect of building rapport with others is understanding the different types of learning styles – auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.

People with an Auditory learning style tend to grasp information by listening. They might also value concepts, logical strategies and solutions. They might say, “I hear what you’re saying.” or “It sounds like xyz.”

People with a Visual learning style tend to prefer tuning into information that is read or seen. They value images, symbols, designs and models. They might say, “I can see it now, thanks for the clarification.” or “I can see what you mean with the illustration of your idea.”

People with a Kinesthetic learning style tend to learn information that they can touch or feel. They prefer hands-on experiential learning, rather than learning through reading or listening. They value intuition, insight and perception. They might say, “Could I role-play a difficult conversation with you? or “I prefer a hands-on approach to learning.”

We use all 3 learning styles, yet you’ll have a preferred style or combination. For example, I am primarily a visual learner, then kinesthetic followed by auditory. What learning style or combination predominately describes you?

Communication in conversations is about patterns and energy not just about information.

You’ll bring change into the world that will empower more transparency, stronger relationships, deeper understanding, broader and more profound and shared success, and most of all the ability to tell the truth – to close the gap that separates us – one from another.


Listen to previous episodes in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES:

EP26: How To Become an Exceptional Communicator To Advance Your Career

EP27: Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

EP29 Communicating in Tough Situations & Dealing With Difficult People at Work

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com 

Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

Important Communication Skills For Making a High Impact

Episode 27: Important Communication Skills For Making High Impact

Critical skills to further advance your career

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life

My name is Teena Evert and I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career so they can experience a high level of satisfaction and success. 

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an exceptional communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn:

📌 Who and what is a high impact communicator?

📌  The essentials of clear and concise speaking

📌  Assertive communication behaviors to gain attention and acceptance

📌  Listening skills to greatly improve the effectiveness of your communication

Who and What is a high impact communicator?

A high impact communicator is someone who can communicate in a clear, concise, correct, creative and conversational way in both their written and spoken communication.

How well do you feel you communicate?

Have you ever had someone respond to you with, “I just don’t understand.” or “I thought you said…” It can feel frustrating to not have your message be understood by the listener and if this happens to you regularly, most likely your not be making your message clear.

The essentials of clear and concise speaking

You don’t need to overcomplicate your message with too many words. You can practice being clear and concise when delivering your message by following these three (3) steps:

  1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them.
  2. Tell them.
  3. Tell them what you told them.

These three steps will help you get to the point up front so that you aren’t making people guess what you’re talking about.

For example:

▶︎ In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to tell you about high-impact communication skills.

▶︎ High impact communication skills include the essentials of delivering a clear and concise message, assertive communication behaviors, and active listening skills.

▶︎ I told you that in today’s podcast episode you will learn 3 high-impact communication skills to help advance your career.

With that said, here are some tips to help you strive for clarity in your communication:

Use simple words. Big words can be confusing to the listener. Don’t use big words if simpler words will do

Use an active voice that is direct and authoritative, rather than a passive voice that can come across as that as weak and indirect.

Don’t use Jargon unless you are absolutely positive that others will know what it means.

Less is more. People can’t hear everything you say, if you give it to them in long drawn out monologues. Too much is just too much. Less is more be concise.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I just wanted to know what time is, not how to build a clock.” That is a plea for being more concise. You don’t have to tell someone everything about the subject, you just have to tell them what they need to know about the subject.

Preparation, planning and practice will help you to become more clear and concise in your communication. Communicating concisely is communicating considerately. People will pay greater attention to you and you’ll have a greater impact when you speak concisely.

Assertive communication behaviors to gain attention and acceptance

Assertive communication requires courage and self-management of your thoughts and emotions. When you practice being more assertive you’ll be more effective in gaining attention and acceptance amongst your colleagues, co-workers, family and friends.

► To be assertive is to stand up for your rights, without undue anxiety, and without infringing on the rights of others.

► Assertive communication is also about having healthy boundaries and showing up in your personal power by being clear, concise and nice.

Other assertive communication characteristics are:

► Being able to express feelings, wants, and needs clearly and appropriately.
► Listening without interrupting
► Feeling confident and in control of your emotions.
► Good eye contact and relaxed body posture
► Strong connection with others

Passive vs aggressive communication

Passive communication and aggressive communication are two other common and less communication behaviors. I will talk about them briefly and while I do, notice if you see yourself displaying any of their characteristics.

Passive communication behavior is driven by an emotional response that avoids any kind of confrontation. Passive communicators are usually very nice, dislike conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it. The problem is that they are often not clear and concise and generally lack self-esteem or self-confidence and feel that don’t have any rights. Outwardly nice, yet outwardly hostile. They often fall back on the old belief – “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.”

Here are other characteristics of passive communicators:

► Failing to speak up for themselves
► Allowing others to deliberately or inadvertently infringe on their rights
► Failing to express their feelings, needs or opinions
► Speaking softly or apologetically
► Exhibiting poor eye contact and slumped body posture

Aggressive communication behavior is a direct emotional attack or assault on another person. Aggressive communicators can be very impulsive and tend to dominate the conversation by using humiliation to try to control, criticism and blame.

An aggressive communicator has a low frustration tolerance, speaks in a loud demanding or overbearing voice, is often rude or threatening to others, doesn’t listen well, interrupts frequently, and uses ‘You’ statements, with an overbearing posture.

It’s also the most widely misinterpreted communication style. It’s not necessarily aggressive if you are a loud person. Someone is aggressive if they come at you with a very clear motive such as intimidation or belittlement.

These are aggressive postures:

► “You don’t have the right to xyz”
► “It’s my way or the Highway”
► Using inappropriate or foul language at someone to belittle or intimidate them
► They’re in your Face or in Your Space if they’re trying to intimidate or belittle you
► Idle Threats
► Personal Attacks (Physical or Verbal) public humiliation, verbal attack addressing someone’s personal character rather than their behavior is aggressive.

Practice standing your ground and asserting yourself confidently. Making your concerns known is key, but focusing only on your needs is aggressive. Assertiveness involves listening and understanding others needs as well as your own.

And we can’t leave out the passive-aggressive communication behavior, which describes someone who is outwardly nice, yet inwardly hostile, UNTIL they have brewed and stewed and worked themselves into a “mad.” Then they show up and verbally throw up on people.

Passive-aggressive communicators will often:

► Mutter to themselves, rather than confront the person or issue
► Have difficulty acknowledging their anger
► Use facial expressions that don’t match how they feel
► Use sarcasm
► Deny that there is a problem
► Appear cooperative while purposely doing things to annoy and disrupt
► Use subtle sabotage to get even

In EP 26, I talked about the 4 primary business communication styles and each of them as a communication preference.

  1. The Entertainer (Influencer) – prefers a conversational tone and values a sense of humor. They don’t like to get bogged down in the details and may need to hear a message more than once.
  2. The Commander (Driver) – prefers conciseness and organization, the value efficiency, are focused on the bottom line and want you to get to the point.
  3. The Feeler (Steady) – prefers a conversational tone and is extra-sensitive to nuances of language, they are good at reading between the lines.
  4. The Analyzer (Conscientious) – prefers direct, clear communication, with plenty of evidence to support the message.

It is important to be flexible and adaptable in your communication behavior.

Although learning to be assertive is the optimal choice the majority of the time aggressive and passive communication can also be the most appropriate choice in some situations.

For example – if a fire breaks out in a building and you are trapped inside, you bet that an assertive-aggressive communication style might come in handy to mobile people towards safety. An assertive-aggressive style is clear and concise communication that isn’t necessarily nice in the delivery verbally or nonverbally. There are times to be firm chosen deliberately and consciously not a reaction.

Passive-assertive communication is subtle, but still clear and concise communication. Assertively standing up for your desire to change the topic is a great example. If you’re in a meeting with your superiors and want to be respectful to their leadership as you bravely take a stand and speak up about a topic that is important to you.

Listening skills greatly improves your communication effectiveness

Being an exceptional communicator is not just about delivering words, it’s also about listening. We must master the art of listening assertively (not taking things personally, or project your insecurities or preconceived notions).

Consider these facts about listening:

▶︎ Humans have 5x more capacity to listen than to speak
▶︎ Four-fifths of our minds have the opportunity to wander while we are listening to someone
▶︎ We tend to spend this time formulating responses based on our own preconceived notions
▶︎ We only retain 30% of what was said, and only remember half of that
▶︎ We spend 47% of our time writing, typing, speaking or reading
▶︎ We spend 53% of our time listening to others!
▶︎ Most people are only 25% effective at listening
▶︎ Listening skills are poorest when we interact with the people we are closest to (family members and friends)
▶︎ Most people rate themselves as poor listeners – How about you?

Effective listening is active, not passive, and involves our whole bodies, not just our ears.

Effective active listening

Effective, active listening is at least as important as effective delivery of the message, though unfortunately the most often overlooked skill. Don’t be discouraged if you have trouble listening. Being a great listener requires practice. Being a great listener is dependent on these four (4) skills: focusing, reflecting, perceiving and responding. As I review these skills, evaluate your strengths and note the areas that may need some work.

▶︎ Focus. Make a conscious decision to focus on the speaker. In today’s society, that’s often much harder than it seems. The first step is to eliminate all the distractions, from your cell phone and computer to whatever is happening in the environment around you. You have to be disciplined and tell yourself that for a designated amount of time, you will respectfully give the other person all of your attention. Now, in an ideal world we can always put aside whatever we’re doing and make time to listen, but the reality is that providing someone this kind of focused listening takes discipline, practice and some planning.

▶︎ Reflect. At one level, reflection means showing the person that you are understanding – or not understanding – what they are saying. reflecting is all about how you demonstrate that you are in fact listening and understanding what the other person is saying. However, reflecting also refers to the way that we process information as we listen. If we are reflecting, we’ll ask questions to clarify or paraphrase what we think we’ve heard, just to be sure that we’re understanding the message. You can also demonstrate your understanding (or lack thereof) with encouraging, nodding or hand gestures.

▶︎ Perceive. The next skill, to perceive, refers to our ability to read between the lines. Most communication happens through nonverbal channels. Great listeners read body language, facial expressions and vocal characteristics which help them perceive the story beyond just what the speaker is saying.

▶︎ Respond. When appropriate, ask questions, show empathy and reflect back what you’re hearing. Offer a solution or advice ONLY when requested. Sometimes the most difficult – and yet the most powerful – response can be absolutely nothing. Silence speaks volumes, and when paired with a variety of facial expressions can mean very different things. Most of us find silence to be awkward, so it can sometimes be an effective way to encourage someone to keep talking, or to stop and assess what they’re saying and reconsider a new course.

Today, I shared with you several critical skills for high-impact communicators that I hope you will begin to apply to life and practice often.

Before I wrap up this episode, I want to speak to one more thing to help you step more fully into becoming an exceptional communicator.

And that is being open to influence. Being open to influence is the overarching mindset and attitude in order to really utilize all of these communication skills in a masterful and consistent way. When we are open to influence we are connecting without judgement. We are engaging and listening to what others are saying even thinking, rather than preparing for what we want to say next. When working with others it’s essential that we cultivate an open mindset and embody curiosity in order to deeply hear what others are saying without filtering it through our own agenda.


Stay tuned for Episode 28 in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES where you’ll learn “How To Build Rapport, Strengthen Your Work Relationships and Achieve Respect”

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com

career advancement series - how to become an exceptional communicator

HOW TO BECOME AN EXCEPTIONAL COMMUNICATOR TO ADVANCE YOUR CAREER

career advancement series - how to become an exceptional communicator

CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES 

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” – Jack Canfield

Season 2: Episode 26 of the Claim The Lead Podcast. The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life.

My name is Teena Evert M.A., LMFT, CCTC, a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career so they can experience a high level of satisfaction and success.

Today kicks off the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

Today we’ll explore ways that you can become an Exceptional Communicator To Advance in Your Career.

You will learn:

♥ What is an exceptional communicator?

♥ Factors that influence communication

♥ Understanding yourself and leverage your personal strengths to improve your communication with others

♥ 4 primary types of business communication styles

♥ 6 strategies to help you work in a multigenerational workplace

Listen to other episodes in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES

EP27 Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

EP28 How To Build Rapport, Strengthen Work Relationships & Achieve Respect

EP29 Communicating in Tough Situations & Dealing With Difficult People at Work

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com

I look forward to hearing from you and would be happy to schedule a free 30 minute consultation.

Until then enjoy the rest of the week!

teena-everts-signature
The Art of Negotiation for Women

THE ART OF NEGOTIATION FOR WOMEN

The Art of Negotiation for Women

NEGOTIATION IS A LIFE SKILL

Welcome to Season 2: Episode 25 of the Claim The Lead Podcast.

SEASON 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life. My name is Teena Ever and I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance.

Today’s Episode is about The Art of Negotiation for Women. I’ll be speaking with Carrie Gallant. Carrie inspires and empowers women to think bigger, negotiate more powerfully and step up into greater influence and impact. She is President of Gallant Solutions Inc., and founder of The Gallant Leader™ Academy and the EARN Your Worth™ Leaders Lab.

Carrie is a dynamic speaker, facilitator and pay equity advocate and brings her experience as an executive, former practicing lawyer and adjunct law professor to her work in helping clients master the art and science of negotiation and influence, conflict resolution and Conversational Intelligence®. 

Carrie’s Art of Negotiation for Women approach is featured in The Women’s Enterprise Centre’s Negotiation for Women Entrepreneurs programs, and in author Tara Mohr’s acclaimed leadership program “Playing Big”. Carrie has also appeared in Cosmo Magazine, goop.com, vice.com, The Globe and Mail, The Financial Post, and CBC Radio. She is also a certified in Conversational Intelligence®, a certified facilitator of Authentic Leadership Conversations™ and Authentic Leadership for Teams™, and a qualified assessor of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®). 

I am delighted to have her on the podcast as she is wise and passionate about helping women learn the art of negotiation. It’s a life skill that all women should develop to empower them in both business and personal relationships. 

In this episode you will learn:

📌 Why negotiation is important for women

📌  What it is about negotiation that freaks women out

📌  The biggest mistakes women make when it comes to negotiating

📌  The benefits for women in learning how to negotiate as a life skill

📌 How to check your negotiation competency


WHERE TO FIND CARRIE 

http://GallantLeader.com

The Unstoppable You™ Negotiation & Influence Competencies Quiz: https://negotiationcompetencies.com


To receive personalized life or career development coaching to create a more meaningful well-lived life, please send an email to Teena Evert at support@teenaevert.com

EP 24 Balance and Boundaries in Business

BALANCE AND BOUNDARIES IN BUSINESS

EP 24 Balance and Boundaries in Business

HOW TO CREATE BOUNDARIES AND WORK-LIFE BALANCE

You are listening to Season 2: Episode 24 of the Claim The Lead Podcast. 

SEASON 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My name is Teena Evert and my intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life. I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career. 

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance. 

In this episode you will learn: 

📌 How to create work-life balance

📌 4 Keys to help you create practical boundaries

📌 5 Questions to help you choose and set healthy boundaries

📌 3 Steps to lead you towards creating balance and boundaries by raising your energy awareness

Creating work-life balance

A day doesn’t go by where I don’t hear someone talking about the topic of work-life balance.

Is this really achievable?

Balance is not stagnant and rigid, it is fluid and ever changing.

So how do we strike a balance and maintain it? 

Creating work-life balance is much more than an intellectual pursuit. It’s a life skill that can teach us how to “go with the flow”, especially when big life changes or even transitions hit. 

Balance is a state of our physical and energetic being. When we are aware of our energy and how it connects to our body, we can integrate the two and experience a state of inner-balance. 

Balance promotes a state of mind that is clear and present.

So what happens when we get thrown by a major life change?

What can you do to internally shift yourself towards a state of balance? 

The very first step is to become keenly aware of when you’re feeling balanced or unbalanced. On an energetic level, we can tell when we are in balance and when we are out of balance. For example, when we are out of balance, we often feel: pressured, stressed, taxed, drained, uneasy, anxious and depressed. When we are balanced we often feel: a sense of well-being, ease, flow, peacefulness and relaxation. 

Both of these experiences shift our inner-state of being, which is energetic in nature. When we feel unbalanced we often say that we have low energy and when we’re balanced we have positive energy and feel bright and vitalized. 

I’d like to challenge you to not look for balance at the end of your day, but rather be curious about the quality of your energy. At the end of your day you want to have the energy to feel motivated and inspired, grateful and appreciative about what you’ve accomplished for the day. Therefore, I invite you to think about what is it that gives you energy? Become curious and more aware of the quality your energy levels throughout your day, so that you can experience an inner-state of balance. 

Boundaries and balance

We live in a society where saying “Yes” is often the acceptable norm.

How frequently do you take on extra projects, problems, or work when your plate is already full?

Or perhaps you find yourself spinning several plates at once. What happens if you the spinning stops? – the plates come crashing down! Are you aware that your plate is full and your juggling act is not sustainable? 

Unfortunately, this is a common problem amongst my clients that leads us right into a conversation about boundaries. The first step in setting boundaries is to get clear about what is important to you and what it is that you want to achieve. Your values and priorities, and the urgency and importance of each project or goal, will define how much time and energy you need in a day, week, or month. 

If you’re someone who tends to be overly-committed, then boundary setting is essential to your success as as as for your personal accountability. 

Are you a people pleaser?

Someone who all so often wants to please others to the point where they have to manage their own guilt and accomplishment If this is you the setting boundaries can sometimes feel harsh or limiting. The truth is, boundaries don’t have to be harsh or limiting and sometimes they just are.

The purpose of a healthy boundary is to create the space necessary to succeed in reaching your desired goals. 

4 keys to help you create practical boundaries 

  1. Be Flexible – we live in a world where flexibility and continued re-assessment of work-life balance is essential to maintaining choice and being able to make a conscious decision to invite a new work-around when it’s called for. In order to have flexibility you must first define your boundaries by allocated time for yourself or scheduled commitments that also has defined space for flexibility – I like to call it padding or a buffer. Have a few alternatives ready for when you’re faced with a challenge, so that you can compromise or tap into a viable solution that works for you.
  2. Know Your Requirements – these are your non-negotiables and relate directly to your deepest and critically important values and priorities. They drive the creation of strong boundaries. Your ability to identify your non-negotiables and have awareness of them is imperative to your success. Knowing these requirements leads to values-based decisions. 
  3. Create Space – by creating a mental or physical space between yourself and an unhelpful distraction can help prevent overwhelm or derailment from your goals and priorities. Consider planning a vacation or quick get-a-way in order to create physical distance and space from a project or person. Re-prioritize your less important projects or goals for a specific period of time in order to create time distance. Or even decide to focus on one goal at a time to create mental space from other potential distractions.
  4. Invite Adaptability – your ability to be adaptable requires both self-awareness and flexibility. This can be what you need it to be – such as a firm strong boundary or a more relaxed boundary depending on the situation. It can look like having flexible management of your time and goals, having clear awareness and recognition of your limits and the ability to prioritize new items as they arise, while managing previous commitments.

Defining specific boundaries and identifying your values that inform them will help you create the framework you need to steer clear of falling into the people pleaser trap that keeps you in a state of overwhelm and also leaks guilt into your accomplishment. 

The good news is that you can still accomplish a lot and in less time and even be guilt-free, when you learn to master the art of setting practical boundaries – it is certainly a creative process. 

5 questions to help you choose and set boundaries

When we don’t set boundaries the person we most often disappoint is ourselves. I invite you to reflect the following questions, then choose one boundary to begin with. 

  1. Who do you most need to set boundaries with? (make a list if needed)
  2. Where do you need to set boundaries for yourself? 
  3. Try asking, “If I say “yes” to that, then what will I be saying “no” to? Then, “If I say “no”, what will I be saying “yes” to?”
  4. What is the biggest thing that stops you from setting and maintaining your boundaries? 
  5. Choose you! What 3 boundaries could you set to ensure your needs are met? 

3 steps to raise your energy awareness

▶︎ STEP ONE: Become Aware of Your Energy  – we are made of energy and when it is flowing we are free from pain, disease and tension. These conditions are considered to be blocks or stagnation in our energy flow to where it gets thwarted and out of balance. There are several ways that you can begin to cultivate an awareness of your energy and it requires a daily consistent practice. 

You might want to consider meditation, mindful movement, or a simple practice of slowing down and paying attention to what is happening in your body and observe your energy levels throughout the day. You might also begin to notice how the quality of your energy shifts moment-to-moment, as it can feel bright and full and it can also begin to drop and become dull. The more you become familiar with your own energy, the more you’ll know how to cultivate it and keep it in balance. 

▶︎ STEP TWO: Know What Affects Your Energy – lots of things can affect your energy that range from your environment to the work you do and the people you surround yourself with. Pay attention to what gives you strength and nourishment and also feeds you positive energy, as well as what depletes your energy. Take inspired action to increase time spent on fulfilling activities, and limit your time on depleting activities and engagements. 

▶︎ STEP THREE: Create Balance Through Boundaries – one of the best ways to experience heightened energy is to create clear boundaries. As I mentioned earlier, setting healthy boundaries with yourself is the most important boundary that you will create. 

What agreements do you make with yourself? What do you do to take care of your yourself every day? For example, do you engage in activities that actively promote your energy like healthy eating, exercise and mindfulness practice? Do you have boundaries with technology, work and social media? Or do you stay up all hours of the night constantly scrolling and reading, go to bed late and feel tired and depleted the next morning? 

Practice also having healthy boundaries with others. Do you tend to overextend, over accommodate or sacrifice yourself in order to be there for others? Do you give your energy and power away unknowingly? Do you feel the need to do this in order to be liked, accepted, or needed? 

Consider the amount of time and energy you dedicate to yourself and your own creative passionate pursuits. How much attention do you invest compared to the amount of time and energy you give to others? What changes do you need to make in order to feel more whole, complete and centered? Learn how to effectively communicate your needs to others who may drain you or expect constant access to your attention.

Consider what boundaries you need to set to create more balance. Boundaries aren’t like borders they’re not walls that block people out of our lives. Boundaries help us to be honest and authentic about where we want to place our time and focus. The best boundaries are clear, peaceful and honoring to all people involved. They create containers of positive, focused energy where we can naturally experience balance and offer the best of who we are in any given situation.. 

Create “Energetic Boundaries” by considering making more than just “space” and “time” boundaries. Think of “energetic” boundaries that allows for the creation of a sacred space that is an energetic space to thrive, prosper and grow. Energetic boundaries can mean not taking work home with you or in your head – you can do this through grounding and releasing. 

Energetic boundaries may also mean being honest with your loved ones about what you can do, and what you can’t do. It may require you to speak your truth and express your needs. 

Striking a life-work balance is not a destination, it’s not something we arrive at one day – it’s a constant state of awareness and daily practice. This also holds true for the cultivation of healthy boundaries – as you’ll discover that it’s an important skill to be both  flexible and adaptable – depending on the particular situation. 

To avoid crashing and burning out – take time to listen to your body and your energy each day. Take small steps that you need to feel healthy, refreshed and free. Small steps often are easier to integrate into positive daily habits like meditation, exercise, healthy eating and conscious breathing. 

To receive personalized life or career coaching to help you best cultivate balance and boundaries in your life, please send an email to Teena at support@teenaevert.com 

How To Navigate Life & Career Transitions

HOW TO NAVIGATE LIFE AND CAREER TRANSITIONS

How To Navigate Life & Career Transitions

LIFE AND CAREER TRANSITIONS

Welcome to Season 2: Episode 23 of the Claim The Lead Podcast.

Season 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life.

My name is Teena Evert and I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance.

Today’s episode is about…

How to navigate life and career transitions

I have experienced many transitions in my life and career that have always required both a ‘holding on’ and a ‘letting go’. This a natural part of the cycle of life that needs to occur before something new can be embraced. Similar to a child receiving presents on their birthday, new things cannot be added when their arms are already full.

In order to successfully make it through these important life transitions, I had to consciously get clear and engage in what I wanted to ‘hold on’ to and what I needed to ‘let go’ of in order to make the shift. It’s a process that’s not always easy to move through alone. Therefore, I recommend working with a life coach.

Living a fulfilled life

😒 Are you too busy and feeling rushed everyday? 

😞 Have you lost track of your friends? 

😕 Have you lost track of yourself and your goals?

Many people come to me for coaching because they want to find ways to make their life more satisfying and fulfilling. They want to feel more alive. They want to get out of the trance that they’ve fallen into from the high levels of stimulation in our modern society – that is beginning to make them feel robotic. 

One of the issues of feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled is that people are being driven by habitual choices and ways of coping that were developed as young children and have remained unchanged. When coping habits outlive their usefulness and become outdated, they turn to a life coach like myself, seeking help to reshape and update their life. This requires coaching my clients how to develop new habits of thinking and behaving – it also requires a personal breakthrough.

Gain clarity about your limitations

The first step is to gain some clarity about the ways your habitual thinking and coping habits are your limitations to moving beyond your current life choices. 

When I coach my clients, we often focus on life purpose and life design work. As they become conscious of their unconscious they experience a transformation or personal breakthrough and begin to design their lives more purposefully – meaning new good habits and daily practices, and a new way of being. 

A key to this transformation and personal breakthrough is creating positive habits that replace unhealthy or unwanted behaviors.

Designing a life gets you out of being a creature of habit where you keep falling into a familiar sort of autopilot stupor. 

Examine your everyday life habits

My coaching process uses the principle of examining your everyday life habits to determine which are habitual and the assumptions that underpin them. I work directly with my clients to explore cognitively and emotionally ways to change habits and create more purposeful behavior that is in line with their desired life. 

Use your signature strengths

The strongest route to authentic happiness is to use your signature strengths in service of something greater than yourself. Your strengths can be your best motivators and I love helping people identify what they are. I use both formal and informal assessments to find their signature strengths, then coach them how to best leverage them. 

Design your life

The truth is, most of us did not grow up thinking we could design a life. Maybe a garden or a sandbox, but not your life. I help my clients become the interior designers of their lives in an integral way – body, mind, and spirit. Through our work, they realize they can make choices about their lives. They can consciously design a way of living that will bring them deep fulfillment – a feeling of satisfaction of having achieved one’s desires. 

 I help my clients discover what they desire and want to bring into actuality, to completion.

Fulfillment is not the end goal – it’s about experiencing fulfillment in the moment. Life brings new challenges and learning opportunities. 

Be purposeful

What I want for my you is to learn that in being more purposeful – in consciously choosing and designing your experience – you have opportunities to experience moments of fulfillment more frequently. 

Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all want more of whatever feels fulfilling. Living purposefully and living with design allows people to be more conscious of their choices, actions, and mind-set. 

Eleanor Roosevelt said,“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

It takes courage to create the life of your dreams. 

L. J. Cardinal Suenens said, “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”

There is a high cost of not living the life of our dreams, of not leading a fulfilling life – it takes courage and being honest with yourself to explore a new way of being. 

Link your desires with your actions

Many of us need to be reminded that WE create our own lives – through our intentions, beliefs, courage, and ability to link our desires with our actions. The real art of life is in balancing – living in the present with an ability to focus on the future

On one hand, life can feel like it’s working in our favor when we are happy, everything seems normal, whatever we are doing is succeeding, our routine is working, and we are comfortable. 

On the other hand, life can feel like it’s falling apart when we experience a loss, where the happiness of routine begins to fall apart. A variety of events begin to signal change, and we are challenged to let go of the routine that worked so well. 

Take time to heal and grow

When we experience loss in our lives, we want to return to our previous happiness as quickly as possible and regain our equilibrium. The healing and growth process requires one to experience the suffering and to allow ourselves to fully move through the feelings of loss. Unfortunately we can not avoid this process and still hope to achieve our goal. We can’t go over, under, or around this life transition – we must go through it, with all the hard work of planning, implementing, and revising that it entails. 

This is often an unpleasant process that involves true suffering: tension, stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, conflict, and sadness. It is only through suffering – fully experiencing our pain – that hope arises. 

The good news is that hope begins to emerge when our plans begin to work.

We start to notice progress and begin to feel competent. We hold a vision of a return to happiness and normality. Naturally, the new normal will be different from the old. When the process of change is effective, the elements of our life come together in a new configuration. We find happiness in a new state of equilibrium. 

Change will always come

Keep in mind that happiness is rarely a permanent state of being, change will reliably come as we move through life.

As a consequence of change, which is part of the natural cycle of life, we repeatedly experience the emotions of change. With loss we can experience feelings of anxiety, apprehension, and worry. We can feel sad, angry, irritated, and frustrated. Grieving needs to be done. Along with the experience of suffering through change, we may experience stress, depression, burnout, helplessness, and even hopelessness. 

Eventually hope brings renewed energy, optimism, and enthusiasm, and happiness brings a sense of satisfaction and contentment. 

Trying to grip onto the state of happiness in order to stay in a state of happiness forever is not realistic. Change is a natural part of our lives. It brings growth and is inevitably accompanied by the emotions associated with change. 

Claim the lead in your life

Coaching offers you the opportunity to put your hands on the wheel of your life and turn it at a speed that returns you more quickly to happiness when your life has gone off course. I help you discover your strengths so you can manage your life through important transitions and help you learn to navigate these times as smoothly as possible, emerging more resilient and less drained. 

When we are experiencing loss we have to fully experience it to move through it and coaching gives you the tools to design your life in the spirit of hope so that authentic happiness occurs more quickly, more easily, and more frequently. 

If you are suffering greatly and in pan, coaching can assist you to experience and move through the pain as elegantly as possible. 

If you are interested in learning more about my coaching practice and services, please send an email to support@teenaevert.com

Episode 22 Life and Career Coaching

INTRODUCTION SEASON 2

Episode 22 Life and Career Coaching

Episode 22: Life and Career Coaching | Season 2

LIFE AND CAREER DEVELOPMENT COACHING

Welcome to the Claim The Lead Podcast.

I’m your host Teena Evert this podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in work, life and love. I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career. 

Season 2

Today’s episode will be different than other episodes, because today I want to tell you about what SEASON 2 of this podcast is about and what you can expect from it. I also wanted to share a little about myself and the inspiration for a NEW SEASON!

I am a life-long learner and I have too many certifications, trainings and degrees to list them all; however the most relevant to my work to date are that I am a Certified Life and Career Transition Coach, Certified Conversational Intelligence Coach, I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Addictions Counselor.

I have a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career and I want you to know that you’re not alone, many people wonder where they fit or belong during challenging times.

I coach my clients on ways to get unstuck and move forward, strategize about possible barriers both internal and external and identify what is really holding them back from making changes. In our work together they gain more ideas, become more creative, are less anxious about the future and become more confident in designing and building a life they choose.

The transformation that occurs from gracefully moving through a life or career transition is really empowering! I know first hand, as I have been here multiple times and not only survived it, but have thrived on the other side – and you can too.

SEASON 2 is inspired by own recent transition as well as the incredible people that I have had the honor to coach over the past 9 months. They are so brave and courageous to seek out professional support to help guide them through times of change that can be filled with uncertainty, confusion, feeling lost and insignificant.

Through our work together they were able to discover themselves at a deeper level and learn to make choices in life that were in alignment with their core values and lead happy and more meaningful lives. They learned to move from a place of feeling completely stuck to an empowered outlook so they could reclaim the lead in their lives and move forward with a new energy and engagement within their relationships, life and career.

This has been my experience as well, when I recently sought out professional help and worked with a coach to assist me through an incredibly difficult transition in my life. I know the true power of working with a trained coach and recommend it highly if you are eager to grow out of a situation that can often feel impossible or unsolvable. I am here to tell you that is rough at first, but what’s possible on the other side is waiting for you!

Season 2 goals

My goals for SEASON 2 of this podcast, are to provide specific life and career development tools and practical tips to help you step into your best self, so you can live your best life. My hope is that it will help you know that they are not alone, that they’re not the only one experiencing or going through whatever they’re going through and learn some powerful and practical ways to start to shift, refocus and begin to move in a more positive direction.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I will encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and brings a sense of balance (including health, finances, relationships, spirituality, personal growth (including intellectual and emotional), leisure, family, and continuing education

Thank you for listening, as we learn to Claim The Lead as women, to not be afraid of our own power, but to own it and go forth and use it to make a greater impact in the world!

teena-everts-signature

CEO Claim The Lead

Episode 21

YOUR POWER MOVES

Episode 21

5 Steps You Must Make to Get to Your Next Level

The Claim The Lead Podcast is a weekly conversation with your host Teena Evert. She is the Founder & CEO of Claim The Lead. She coaches professionals to help them achieve greater work-life, home-life and relationship satisfaction.

Through interviews and stories Teena will explore all aspects of personal leadership, which is the leadership of the self connected to the emotional and psychological well being of women to help develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in life, work and love.


In this episode I am speaking with Devonia Reed who is an author, speaker, and educator. Ms. Reed was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. She has served as a public school educator for over 19 years in various capacities. She is also the Co-Founder and CEO of Welcome 2 the Queendom, a non-profit organization that empowers young ladies. She has dedicated her life to empowering youth and women to be “stretched into their greatness”.

Your happiness doesn’t come from places or things, happiness is purely personal and it’s really all about you.  – Devonia Reed

In this episode you will learn:

📌 How to use your biggest obstacles to propel you forward in life

📌 Inspiration to stretch into your greatness

📌 What are the power moves that will get to your next level

📌 How to be a happy whole woman in today’s world

Where to find Devonia

▶︎ Website

Power Moves: 6 Steps You Must Take To Get To Your Next Level

Ignite: A 30 Day Guide To Get You To Your Next Level and Achieving Your Goals

episode-20-chaos-to-collaboration

CHAOS TO COLLABORATION

episode-20-chaos-to-collaboration

HOW COLLABORATION CAN HELP YOUR PERSONAL AND BUSINESS GROWTH

The Claim The Lead Podcast is a weekly conversation with your host Teena Evert. She is the Founder & CEO of Claim The Lead and specializes in helping working professionals achieve greater work-life, home-life and relationship satisfaction.

Through interviews and stories Teena will explore all aspects of personal leadership, which is the leadership of the self connected to the emotional and psychological well being of women to help develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in life, work and love.


In this episode, I am speaking with Charmaine Hammond who has been in the business of transforming lives, building sustainable collaborations, and helping businesses succeed for more than 25 years. CSP™ Certified Speaking Professional, bestselling author with a Master’s Degree in Conflict Management, she has developed collaborations and sponsorship relationships with more than 40 sponsors and 60 business partners and has helped her clients do the same. As a former counsellor, Charmaine worked with many families and communities to create collaborations built to last.

Charmaine has sat on all sides of the collaboration and sponsorship table. She has started and been the Executive Director and Board President of non-profit organizations where her role included building powerful collaborations, leading innovative fundraising, submitting grant applications, and securing sponsors. She has also worked as a funder and sponsor, making those tough decisions of who is awarded funding/sponsorship dollars. As a business owner herself for the past 22 years, she has been a sponsor of various projects, events and causes. Now she teaches people to do this for their businesses, projects and BIG DREAMS.

Prior to opening her first business, more than 20 years ago, Charmaine worked for all 3 levels of government (including the Correctional System where she was a Correctional Officer… bound to be some interesting stories there), and led a non profit organization. As a speaker, facilitator and consultant for more than 20 years, Charmaine’s clients have included Fortune 500 companies, all levels of government (including 65 municipalities), industry, educational institutions, corporations and businesses in a variety of sectors and non profit organizations. These experiences have provided Charmaine with a unique “inside” insight into the corporate, government, NGO and public sector world.

 In this episode you will learn:

📌 How collaboration can help you with your personal and business growth

📌 Ways that collaborations can go sideways and how to get back on track

📌 How to shift out of chaos

📌 The key elements to a good collaboration

📌 Tips, tools and practices to improve your ability to collaborate more effectively

Where To Find Charmaine

Charmaine’s Website: https://charmainehammond.com/

Raise a Dream: https://raiseadream.com/

ep19-self-care-mastery

SELF-CARE MASTERY

ep19-self-care-mastery

CULTIVATE PEACE & BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE

The Claim The Lead Podcast is a weekly conversation with your host Teena Evert. She is the Founder & CEO of Claim The Lead and specializes in helping working professionals achieve greater work-life, home-life and relationship satisfaction.

Through interviews and stories Teena will explore all aspects of personal leadership, which is the leadership of the self connected to the emotional and psychological well being of women to help develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in life, work and love.


In this episode, I am speaking with thought-leader and “Self-Care Concierge”, Pamela Zimmer. She is #1 bestselling author, sought after speaker and featured guest on countless radio shows, TV, podcasts, blogs and tele-summits, professional Architect turned Stay-at-Home Mom, and Founder of YOUR Permission Pinwheel™. Pamela teaches professional women how to have peace and balance in their lives through a consistent practice of self-care (which is more than just a monthly massage or mani/pedi).

With a leap of faith, Pamela quit her career of 13 years. What she didn’t anticipate was the 6 year struggle she would face battling severe Postpartum Depression. Out of her pain came her purpose, and the lesson about self-care. Today, Pamela mentors women with her groundbreaking, 5-step permission-based program, offering the structure, foundation and guidance they need to take care of themselves first. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

In this episode we explore how:

📌 Self-care is always a choice

📌 Your thinking, feeling, and behaviors impact your overall health and well-being

📌  To not give up or give into life’s challenges

📌  To give yourself permission to be on purpose

Where To Find Pamela

Pamela’s Website

FREE GIFT –  7 Simple Self-Care Secrets

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