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EP47: WAYS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN THE FACE OF EXTREME STRESS

Episode 47: Ways to Reduce Anxiety in The Face of Extreme Stress

4-Week Special Series: “Tools to Help You Through Turbulent Times”

With the recent pandemic of COVID-19 people are seeking support as they manage anxiety, overwhelm, fear and uncertainty during turbulent times. This special 4-week series has been curated to give you practical tools based on scientific research to help cope with uncontrollable circumstances and strengthen your resilience.

Today isn’t yesterday, and tomorrow isn’t determined. When the desire to do more comes from a place that’s bigger than ourselves, anything is possible. – Gary Keller

In this episode you’ll learn:

■ Tools to cope through turbulent times

︎ ■ Tips to tame your fear

︎ ■ Practices to reduce anxiety and  increase well-being

DOWNLOAD the FREE Anxiety Resource Worksheet

🎧Listen to Episode 46: HOW TO USE MENTAL RESOURCES TO FOSTER WELL-BEING


Additional Resources:

JOIN CAREER STRONG!

FREE PRIVATE GROUP for professionals who are open to engaging in career conversations to advance their career and work-life satisfaction.

EP46: HOW TO USE MENTAL RESOURCES TO FOSTER WELL-BEING

Episode 46: HOW TO USE MENTAL RESOURCES TO FOSTER WELL-BEING

4-Week Special Series: “Tools to Help You Through Turbulent Times”

With the recent pandemic of COVID-19 people are seeking support as they manage anxiety, overwhelm, fear and uncertainty during turbulent times. This special 4-week series has been curated to give you practical tools based on scientific research to help you cope with uncontrollable circumstances and strengthen your resilience.

This is a time in our history where globally people need help to decrease their overall stress patterns and develop new coping skills. The Coronavirus has quickly spread across the world making many people feel anxious and uncertain.

Unexpected events impact everyone differently. My intention for this special 4-week series is to help you be able to identify your stressors, learn how to reduce the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety and develop new coping skills so that you can problem solve unexpected issues that have and will continue to come up due to the Coronavirus. As a result, my hope is that you will improve the overall quality of your life with reduced stress.

In this episode you will learn: 

■ About 2 types of stress

■ The effect of stress on the body

■ Healthy coping strategies

■ Ways to change negative thoughts into helpful thinking

DOWNLOAD the FREE Mental Resource Worksheet

🎧Listen to Episode 47: Ways to Reduce Anxiety in The Face of Extreme Stress


JOIN CAREER STRONG!

FREE PRIVATE GROUP for professionals who are open to engaging in career conversations to advance their career and work-life satisfaction.

ep45 how to love, learn, work and play as you age

EP45: HOW TO LOVE, LEARN, WORK AND PLAY AS YOU AGE

ep45 how to love, learn, work and play as you age

The Confident Careerist Podcast Episode 45: How to Love, Learn, Work and Play as you Age

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today’s episode is about transitions through life and how to love, learn, work and play as you age. 

Dr. Nancy Schlossberg taught at Howard University, Wayne State, and was a tenured full professor at the University of Maryland, College Park for 27 years. She was the first woman executive at the American Council of Education (ACE) where she established the Office of Women in Higher Education (1973). She later served as a Senior Fellow at the American Council of Education’s (ACE’s) Center on Adult Learning.

Nancy developed the career transition theory and has done research and written a number of books on this topic including the paths people take in retirement, the need to continually rebalance your Psychological Portfolio, and the bottom line, the need to “matter.” 

In this episode you will discover:

▪︎ What makes the difference in how we handle a particular transition

▪︎ The various paths that people take towards retirement

▪︎ What it means to rebalance your psychological profile

▪︎ Practical ways to continue to love, learn, work and play as you age

Where to find Nancy:

http://www.transitionsthroughlife.com

ep44 how to reach the next level in your career

EP44: HOW TO REACH THE NEXT LEVEL IN YOUR CAREER

ep44 how to reach the next level in your career

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today’s episode is focused on learning about how to reach the next level in your career by unleashing your untapped talents to grow professionally. 

The featured guest is Denise Harris. Denise is the founder of Denise Harris Executive Coaching & Corporate Consulting, which was created to help leaders and teams increase awareness, envision possibilities, achieve insights, and accomplish meaningful and challenging goals. 

She incorporates and infuses a passion for authentic leadership into every aspect of her work to help her clients create the space to be centered and intentional in their commitment to growth, day-to-day choices and interactions with others. 

In this episode you will learn:

■ Relevant tips and strategies to advance in your career

■ Action steps to accomplish your most desired goals

■ Ways to avoid common mistakes and recover from your (past and future) failures

■ Wisdom that will inspire you to face your fears and move forward

■ Proven methods to achieve greater satisfaction and success in life 


Where to find Denise

Online

LinkedIn

Instagram

📚The Corporate Alley Reading List!

 

EP43: RECLAIM YOUR POWER AT WORK

ep43 reclaim your power at work

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today’s episode is focused on how to reclaim your power at work!

This is an important topic to give attention to because so many people that I work with feel powerless at work. I have also felt this way at work – not only feels uncomfortable, it has the potential to lead to self-destructive behaviors and chronic negative thinking about ourselves. As a result, our confidence begins to erode, our vital energy gets tapped out, and we find ourselves feeling deeply depleted.

What needs to change in your life?

When this is happening in our work-life we feel stuck and when we are stuck we can’t move forward. This state of being can also carry over into other parts of our lives and have an impact on the quality of our personal relationships, our self-care practices and our overall connection to our strengths and the value that we have to offer at work and in the world.

This is a problem because it doesn’t allow us to flourish unless we use our sense of powerlessness as a motivator or a catalyst for positive change. Feeling powerless and depleted is often a good indicator that something needs to change in your life. The best way to get on top of this change and move into your power is to take some time to reflect on where you’re at so that you can take action towards what you want.

We all have feelings while working – it’s where most of us spend our prime years and bulk of our time. These feelings change over time and can be anywhere between misery and ecstasy.

People who enjoy their work are usually good at making a distinction between themselves and the results of their work. This brings a detachment that allows for enjoyment of work independence of circumstances. If you don’t maintain this distinction, your enjoyment will always be dependent on whether or not things are going ‘well’.

Look at alternative careers and new directions

In order to make changes in your career, it helps to understand what you enjoy, and what you don’t, in your current work. Then you can make yourself more comfortable where you are while you ponder and take action on alternative careers and new directions.

It’s very important to remember that making BIG changes in our lives is to move from a position of strength – and not from a position of weakness or unhappiness.

For the past few years I have been keenly observing my personal relationship with power – how I claim it as well as how I give it away. I started to get curious about this because I realized I was showing up in life feeling quite disempowered. This primarily stemmed from not believing in myself or being aware of what my strengths and unique talents were. As a result I was not able to express them in the world and this caused me to feel really stuck.

Explore your relationship with power

Exploring your relationship with power and reclaiming it if you’ve lost a connection with it, is an important step in your career development.

It is YOU who determines what success means in your life. It is YOU who determines what will make you happy. It is YOU who determines how you will spend the hours in your life. You are in the driver’s seat so make sure you are going in the direction that feels powerful to you and takes you on a path that lights you up!

What is depleting your power?

Let’s take a look at the things that can contribute to feeling a lack of power at work.

Fear is certainty something we can all identify with.

I love this affirmation: “Embrace change, follow your inspiration, breathe away fear.” Not all fear is bad, sometimes it is fear that can motivate us or get us to take action. However, it’s when our fear is unconscious that it can control our lives to the point where we feel stuck and powerless.

Here are some common fears that people have: failure, death, rejection, ridicule, loneliness, misery , disappointment, pain, the unknown and losing your freedom.

What are the fears that are holding you back from being in your power at work?

How do you define your power?

One of my mentors once said, “Power unused is power useless.”

Imagine a continuum from 1—10
1 = I don’t feel connected with the idea of power; I don’t seek it, own it or value it.
10 = I love power, I want it, I own it fully.
The in-between numbers express various points along that continuum.

Where do you place yourself along this continuum?
Why do you think you chose that number?

Power throughout most of human history, has been a concept rooted in brute force, the power-OVER something or someone.

The hammer is a good metaphor to explain power. Because power is actually amorphous. It becomes what we make of it. You can build with it or you can tear things apart with it. Therefore we can, intentionally change the very meaning of power. And that is exactly what we must do in order to OWN it authentically and comfortably in the workplace.

We can change the meaning of power, how we think of it, from the outdated notion of power OVER…To redefine it as the power TO.

Power OVER implies forcing or denying. Power TO is about solving problems, making life better for yourself, others and the world. It’s about influencing, innovating, the power of possibilities.

Power OVER makes you feel power-LESS. Power-TO lets you feel power-FULL.

With that said, I want to walk you through a powerful exercise that will help you define some steps that you can take right away that will empower you in your current work situation. It will also help you find what contributes to how you feel at work so that you can change it.

Be honest with yourself

Keep in mind that it is important to be honest with yourself as awareness is a powerful tool for change. If you deny the truth of a situation, you also deny yourself the opportunity to make meaningful changes.

What percentage of time at work would you say you’re feeling:
– Enjoyment?
– Neutral? 
– Misery?

What would you say most contributes to your enjoyment at work?
What would you say most contributes to your misery at work?
What would you say are the underlying critical variables that affect your enjoyment of your work?
What COULD you do differently at your CURRENT work to feel better?
What is the biggest difference that makes the difference as to whether you enjoy your work or not?

Go back and further reflect on the answers to these questions and determine what you will do differently to empower yourself in your CURRENT work situation. Be specific by writing down 3 actions you are going to take and by when.

How will you hold yourself accountable to these actions?
What support do you need to keep these promises to yourself?

Suggestions for you

■ Email them to me at support@teenaevert.com
■ Invest in a career or life coach
■ Share them with a trusted colleague or friend
■ Write them down and post them where you can see them on a regular basis

I created  handout for you to make it super easy to download and print out if you so desire. 

I encourage you to do this TODAY!

You will also find a link to schedule a FREE consultation with me.

In this session we can explore the awareness you gained about yourself from doing this exercise and discuss what kind of support you need in order to hold yourself accountable and move forward!

Until next time BE POWERFUL!

teena-everts-signature

Reclaim Your Power at Work

EP42: HOW TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR CAREER

Episode 42: How to Be Happy in Your Career

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today’s episode is focused on how YOU can be happy in your career!

Many people want more from their work than the paycheck it provides – they want a sense of purpose and deeper meaning in their work.

Within career development a direction that leads a person toward a personally fulfilling and/or socially useful engagement within one’s work is sometimes referenced as an inner passion or life purpose.

The truth is, so many people feel miserable in their jobs. Gallup reports that more than 70% of American workers are disengaged at work, a percentage that has changed very little in more than a decade.

Furthermore, stable careers are a thing of the past. Adults now hold an average of 11 jobs by the time they turn 44 years old–and the median number of years people have worked for their current employer is just 4.4 (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics).

These numbers tell a story in which uninspired work and constant career change is the norm, with people at all career stages asking themselves questions like –

“How can I find more meaning in my work?” and “What path should I take now?”

In Episode 41, I shared the key to greater happiness, productivity and engagement in your work. The key was identifying your signature character strengths.

Character strengths are 24 positive traits within each of us. We can also think of these character strengths as 24 seeds within us that we can nurture and grow that often just requires us to do the proper watering. You can take the VIA Character Strengths Survey to determine your unique signature strengths.

Focus on what is right

So why character strengths? Our brains and bodies are wired to look for what is “wrong”, rather than what is “right”. We have sophisticated systems in our body to fight or flight in terms of when there is danger and upsetting things going on. While we have some wiring for what’s right, the wrong part is very strong. Therefore, it comes down to us learning how to focus on the right and this is one reason why knowing and using your character strengths can have a positive impact on your life.

Other research has shown that the negative grows faster than the positive and therefore dominates the positive. It’s more varied and complex than the positive and we need more resources to handle the negative than to express the positive.

Counterbalance the negative

The negative of life, the suffering, the problems and the struggles are very contagious interpersonally to others or within ourselves. This is what can create vicious cycles of negativity in our thinking, feelings and our behaviors. We can have a couple of negative thoughts that leads to some negative feelings and negative emotions of shame and sadness that leads to more negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and these keep cycling overtime. Unfortunately, it leads to some negative behaviors or bad habits – such as starting to drink too much, not getting enough sleep or not exercising enough and living a more sedentary life, which feeds into negative thinking and feelings about ourselves and just continues to go into a vicious cycle where we are then in the midst of a depression or panic attack.

The negative can take over and become difficult to manage. This is why we need character strengths as a counterbalance – not to replace the negative, because we very much need the negative to motivate us, to move us forward and to learn from, to grow and to gain wisdom from our anger and from our sadness and even shame. We absolutely need that, but it’s terribly imbalanced.

We need our strengths to create more balance and to be able to build on the positive to create those upward positive spirals to build on. Character strengths create many benefits within ourselves to counterbalance the negative.

I went from feeling super stuck to seriously satisfied, I will show you how. – Teena Evert

Increase your engagement

Other areas of research such as engagement and disengagement by the Gallup Institute has found that 2/3 of workers are disengaged or actively disengaged with their work. This means that they are not connecting with their work, they are misaligned with their work, they don’t want to be there and they are not concentrating on their work and so on.

Only about 1/3 of people are engaged with their work. They are in the zone, finding flow with their work and really enjoying their work and so on. Our strengths are literally connected with engagement. The way a lot of people actually define engagement, is when you are using your strengths you become engaged. You enter that flow state and so your character strengths are a solution.

Are you flourishing in your life?

Research on flourishing is also quite low in the U.S. In the U.S. research has shown that less than 20% of people are flourishing in this country. Flourishing can be defined as having high social well-being and psychological well-being. Many of us are just not flourishing in our lives.

Many are just languishing in life and they are just going through the motions and not really there. This is another reason why your character strengths are important in your life because they can really help you to flourish in life to really have those different areas of well-being.

Find meaning and purpose in work

There is so much value in finding meaning and purpose in work because this leads to greater happiness in your career!

A sense of purpose and meaning is associated with positive career development outcomes. People who are connected to their purpose are more confident that they can make good decisions about their careers, they are more committed to their jobs and organizations, they are more intrinsically motivated and engaged, and more satisfied with their jobs.

A sense of purpose is associated with general well-being – compared with other people, those who are purpose driven are happier, more satisfied with life, cope more effectively with challenges, and express a stronger sense of meaning in their lives.

It’s really about living it – people with a deeper purpose are happiest, most committed, and experience the most benefit when they feel they are living out their calling. Unfortunately, some people who sense that they have a purpose have trouble finding opportunities to express it, and as a result they feel frustrated, discouraged, and unhappy.

Although living one’s purpose can be a guiding light – for some people, a sense of purpose can cause career sabotage, or “tunnel vision,” to workaholism, or even exploitation from employers.

I love to help people discern and live out their purpose by helping them understand their interests, gifts and character strengths, so that they can identify and create new opportunities, and even transform their relationship with their current job by tapping into their aspirations.

►Download my FREE Career Happiness Guide

Your work doesn’t have to suck the living life right out of you, it can bring you tremendous joy, satisfaction and success. – Teena Evert

I am a licensed mental health professional who has fully transitioned into career, life and leadership coaching. I work with people who are more interested in designing a future, rather than getting over a past.

People who want to live their life more fully both personally and professionally value having a personal coach. Because of this, professional men and women and entrepreneurial small business owners – hire me because they want their vocation to reflect their values.

I believe that you can create an ideal work life. This requires taking full responsibility and accountability for your personal growth and professional development.

What is your job satisfaction rating?

Let’s take a look at your level of job satisfaction. Research consistently shows that more than 50% of professionals in the workforce are unhappy in their position.

On a scale of 1-8, rate how satisfied you are in your current job or occupation.

1 = You are burned out
2 = You hate it
3 = You dislike it
4 = You can tolerate it
5 = It’s okay, but you can do better
6 = I’m content for now
7 = I like it
8 = I love it

What is your current score and is it where you truly want to be?

With so many people looking to make career changes and transitions, but not knowing how to achieve their goals, career and life coaching are becoming increasingly important.

Critical questions to boost your confidence, satisfaction and success

Let’s explore some questions to help you gain more clarity and understanding about your career experience and future trajectory.

Self-awareness is the first step towards creating greater work satisfaction, long term success and authentic confidence

Are you a career-oriented person?

This is someone who values their career as an important piece of their personhood and they prioritize their job over other parts of their life.

What has been your career-defining moment or action?

This is one that is very important in making you successful in your job or in deciding how you will be remembered.

What has been your career-limiting habit or action?

Your career-limiting action or fault is one that damages your chances of being successful in your job, for example, a career-limiting habit you should avoid is being unreliable and resistant to change.

How are you progressing in your career?

Career progress is the progress of making progress to better jobs and opportunities. What is your plan to further your professional development?

What is your career path?

How have you intentionally progressed in work, either in one job or a series of jobs?

Are you looking for a career move?

Are you itching for change in order to get a better job or to have better success and satisfaction in your current job?

Are you a careerist?

Do you consider your job + success to be important in your life, but perhaps you took a career break because you wanted to travel or take care of your children?

By taking time to reflect and answer these critical questions, you will begin to have more clarity and understanding about your career experience and future trajectory. As I mentioned prior, gaining more self-awareness, identifying your character strengths and knowing your purpose is the first step towards creating positive change than can lead to greater work satisfaction, long term success and authentic confidence.

The career development process

Let’s take a look at what the career development process looks like.

Career development planning is a structured process that will help you determine your next career step, set goals based on knowledge of yourself and the market and help you take the right steps to realize your fullest potential and calling.

The process begins with becoming self aware, followed by identifying career options that match you transferable skills, character strengths, interests, and passions, followed by exploring your possibilities that leads to making the best career decisions for your future.

Many of my clients experience stress that is related to their belief that they are making decisions about a career “for the rest of their life”. I tell them that while they should make the best decision with the information they have, it’s helpful to remember that the most life-changing, life-altering events they have experienced were probably things they didn’t plan, predict or control. The truth is, there will be more of these events in our lives.

Happenstance

I invite you to try this happenstance exercise:

First, focus on your future. Consider your life plans (regarding issues like relationships, education, job/career) for either transition or stability over the next couple of years.

Are you planning for change in any of these areas, something new? Or are you planning for no change to take place? Maybe you are content with your residence, your partner, your job, or other aspects of your life.

Next, shift your focus to the past. Think about some of your life-changing, life-altering experiences. This could include meeting the person who became your current partner or spouse, insights and new ideas that directed you professionally, an event that changed the way you think about your own life, or any other experience that has significantly shaped your direction.

Now consider this: how many of these life-changing, life altering events did you plan, predict or control?

If you’re like most of my clients, that number will be close to zero. The events that shaped the direction of their lives in the most profound ways are usually outside of their control, beyond their ability to plan or predict. And yet, we all continue to confidently plan our lives even though our most important life events are unpredictable.

Our lives contain two types of this unpredictability: serendipity (unexpected good things) and disruption (unexpected bad things). In spite of the fact that our lives are often profoundly unpredictable in both of these broad areas, I continue to believe that “planning” is a worthwhile activity. Life without any planning would likely be directionless, haphazard, and meaningless. Our plans can incorporate meaning in the face of unpredictability.

We can make provision for enhancing the unpredictable effects of serendipity by tapping into your character strengths and using them to lead a more fulfilling life, and we can make provision for mitigating the effects of disruption by increasing our resilience, such as maintaining supportive relationships, renewing professional relationships, building an emergency fund, etc.

I teach my clients practical tools to maximize the positive effects and minimize the negative effects of living an engaged life.

Best practices to claim the lead in your career!

✓ Take steps to improve your job satisfaction
✓ Gain clarity and direction on your next best step
✓ Discover your blind spots and barriers to get unstuck
✓ Explore your growing edge and important areas of development
✓ Maintain a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset
✓ Design a career that supports your best life

DOWNLOAD my Career Happiness 😀 Guide

In this guide you will discover –

✨Clarity and positive direction along your career path
⦿ The career planning process to get unstuck and build momentum
😀Ways to boost your confidence, satisfaction and success at work
✮ PLUS 7 days of Career Essentials to increase your success on the right path.

FREE RESOURCES

VIA Character Strengths Survey

Career Happiness Guide

Schedule a Consultation Session with Teena 

EP41 The Key to Greater Happiness, Productivity and Engagement in Your Work

EP41: THE KEY TO GREATER HAPPINESS, PRODUCTIVITY AND ENGAGEMENT IN YOUR WORK

EP41 The Key to Greater Happiness, Productivity and Engagement in Your Work

Episode 41: The Key to Greater Happiness, Productivity, and Engagement in Your Work

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


In today’s episode, I share the key to having greater happiness, productivity and engagement in your work.

All of these things can help you to create a more satisfying life. The key is knowing and activating your character strengths.

What are character strengths and why do they matter?

Character strengths are capacities within us for thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that benefit ourselves and others. They are positive parts of personality and make up the core of who we are as people. When we tap into that core and begin to express that core, it leads to a number of different positive outcomes in our lives.

They have been shown in hundreds of scientific studies to be linked, hand-in-hand, with numerous positive outcomes. Such as, higher well-being, meaning, and engagement, improved coping and stress, higher intimacy and greater commitment in relationships, work-as-a-calling, achievement, and less depression, just to name a few.

Character strengths are considered to be the basic building blocks of a flourishing life. Everyone has a unique profile of strengths that reflect their personal identity. However, many people don’t have an active awareness of their strengths and the power they possess by harnessing them.

Character strengths are the pathways to well-being. – Neal Mayerson, Ph.D

Pathways to well-being

Research proves character strengths are the pathways to well-being. When we weave character strengths into situations we create a positive, uplifting environment that inspires participation and motivation.

Character strengths can also help:

  • Increase happiness at home and at work
  • Improve relationships
  • Discover balance with physical, mental and emotional health
  • Increase performance at work and school
  • Achieve life goals

Move through your blindspots

Knowing and activating our character strengths can also help address our own blindness about ourselves. We all have blindspots to our self knowledge, which can prevent us from achieving our goals. Therefore, when we begin to identify our strengths and activate them, we genuinely bring them forth in our life. This allows us to tap into our authenticity and live true to ourselves.

Know thyself. – Socrates

Know thy character strengths and you will know how to lead a better life by being more authentic and true to you, as well as doing good by expressing your character strengths out into the world to improve the lives of others.

Knowing and activating your strengths can make you happier, more productive and more engaged in your work. – Dr. Ryan Niemiec

😃I invite you to take the VIA Character Strength Survey to learn more about your unique strengths.

Identifying your strengths and best career options

Many people come to me for career coaching because they are seeking help to identify their strengths and best career options. When we lack personal clarity about our greatest strengths we end up using a scattershot approach when applying for jobs and become feeling frustrated because our efforts were not effective.

Consider the impact on recent graduates and adults in transition. Recent graduates launching their first careers need knowledge of the positive parts of their personality that make up the core of who they are as people just as much as they need to know their preferred skills. This is all baseline data for identifying internships and entry level roles.

Adults in career transition need knowledge of the positive parts of their personality to help make the best career decisions that will move them beyond burnout and into greater satisfaction in their work. It’s also just as important to distinguish the skills they want to improve and continue using from the skills they want to stop using or minimize in their next role. This enables them to focus on the roles that align with their character strengths. 

Knowing both our transferable skills and our character strengths can help focus on productive career planning that leads to greater job satisfaction and long term success.

When we have knowledge of our positive qualities and the tools that will help put our strengths and skills to work in our life, then we are much more likely to experience greater happiness, productivity and engagement in our work.

Your ‘power zone’

The successful alignment of your talents, character strengths, resources and interests puts you in your ‘power zone’. Many people are succeeding without fulfillment and meaning, because they are deployed at work in areas within their competence (talent), but the work does not connect with them as human beings (character).

Can you think of a time you were working and in your ‘power zone’?

Shift your focus to what is wrong to what is strong

In today’s world, many people focus almost entirely on what is wrong with them – their problems, their struggles and their stressors. As a result, they often lose sight of what is good and strong in them. There is so much more to life than problems. I provide a holistic, strength-based approach to help people shift their focus from what is wrong to what is strong.

Focusing on one’s universal strengths of character is pivotal for self-awareness in that this knowledge can offer deep awareness and personal insights that can lead to change.

Both strengths-based career counseling and conventional career counseling increase one’s daily use of strengths; however, a strength-based approach also enhances one’s self-esteem. Research has also shown that strength-based career counseling leads to a higher rate of employment (81%) than conventional career counseling (60%) after a 3-month follow up.

Our character strengths are the catalyst for positive speech and action that we can use in any situation for the rest of our life.


What is a strengths-based approach?

✓ A strength-based approach is honest. It acknowledges problems, but doesn’t get lost in them.
✓ It is positive and focuses on what is best and good.
✓ It is empowering and encourages or advances the individual.
✓ It is energizing and uplifts and fuels your hopes and dreams.
✓ It is connecting and brings you closer to others, aiding in mutual connection.

Key Character Strengths Practices

Affirm and value your strengths

Again, I invite you to take the VIA Character Strength Survey to learn more about your unique strengths. This will give you the opportunity to understand and acknowledge these qualities as describing who you are and begin to appreciate the importance of each in your life.

Your highest strengths are values in your life. Endorse and affirm your highest strengths and understand the importance of your strengths in your life by following these 3 steps.

  1. Identify one of your top character strengths that you value. Use this strength in a new and different way each day for a week.
  2. Write about why this character strength is meaningful and important in your life.
  3. Consider doing this activity immediately before going into a stressful or high-pressured situation.

Research has shown that reflecting on personal qualities can lead to reliable and important changes in behavior. Affirmation of your personal values can expand the view of yourself, your resources and what is most important to you.

Practices involving values affirmation have been shown to increase self-clarity, support a sense of belonging during challenging times, to boost resilience to criticism or rejection, to boost performance, curb aggression and buffer the psychological stress response.

Three Good Things

Write down three things that went well for you today with a brief explanation each night for one week. Research has shown effects of a significant increase in happiness and decreases in depression that lasts up to 6-months from doing this simple practice.

My signature character strengths are curiosity, creativity, judgement, love of learning and perspective.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:

The Science of Character Video

VIA Character Strength FREE  Survey 

Episode 40 How To Ask Your Spouse For Support During a Career Transition

EP40: HOW TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE FOR SUPPORT DURING A CAREER CHANGE

Episode 40 How To Ask Your Spouse For Support During a Career Transition

Episode 40: How To Ask Your Spouse For Support During a Career Transition

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


In this episode, I talk about how to ask your spouse or significant other for support when you’re navigating a career change.

Experiencing a career change certainly has many challenges, as does asking for support when you feel stressed and you’re not quite sure what it is you need. This has been a common struggle for many of my career changing clients.

Is this you?

Are you someone who’s contemplating a career change by starting to look at the pros and cons of your work life?

Are you someone who is preparing to take action in the immediate future?

Are you someone who has already taken specific action steps towards change?

Regardless of the stage of change you’re in, you’ll benefit from receiving  support throughout your transition. One of the most obvious support people in your life is your spouse, partner or significant other. 

When you’re navigating this time of great change and uncertainty, how do you engage their support? 

Before I dive deeper into that question, let’s take a closer look at the reasons for why you might be experiencing a career change at this time.

Why are you experiencing change?

You might be making a conscious choice because you want something different, something more meaningful, satisfying and sustainable.

You might feel like you’re being forced to make a change due to unfortunate circumstances like a job loss, a move or other life matters that are pushing you in this direction.

Whether it’s by choice or forced, navigating a career change requires careful planning and lots of support. Receiving support from loved ones can be extremely helpful, if this is available to you.

One of the first questions I ask my client’s is, “What kind of support do you need?” and “What would the right support from a loved one look life for you?”

How would you answer that question, right now?

Here are some of answers that I’ve received from clients:

“I need to know what next steps to take, so that I can move forward. I need my spouse to understand what I am going through, because when I feel judged or misunderstood it adds to my stress.”

“I need my partner to show interest in what I am experiencing by asking me questions, rather than complicating things through pressure to figure it all out sooner than later.”

“I feel like I have to find a quick solution so that my spouse doesn’t feel so concerned about the changes taking place.” The disruption in cash flow is scary, but I know I need to take the time that’s necessary to be sure I am making the best decisions for our future.”

Sound at all familiar?

What does it look like in your current situation to not feel supported?
What needs to change so that you feel 100% supported?

To help you answer this last question, it’s important to have a clear understanding of what stage you’re currently at in the change process. This will help you to effectively communicate what’s going on for you with the people you’re choosing to seek support from.

5 Key Strategies to Receive the Support You Need

 

#1 KNOW WHERE YOU ARE

Throughout life, we are always in an evolving cycle of change and ultimately expanding. Sometimes we welcome this change with open arms and other times we resist with all of our might.

It can be helpful to know which stage you’re in, so you can better understand what is going on for you and be able to communicate it clearly to your partner, spouse or significant other. As a result, they can offer you the support you need. Another benefit is that when you have a better understanding, you can have more compassion for yourself and be better equipped to work through this process of change, rather than against it.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. — John F. Kennedy

#2 UNDERSTAND THE FOUR STAGES OF CHANGE

The first stage of change is dissatisfaction or what I call “feeling the gap”. This is when there is a large gap between where you currently are and where you would like to truly be. You might not be completely clear where you want to be along your career path. You might just have the clarity that what you are experiencing now is not working for you.

This can be an uncomfortable and overwhelming place to be and oftentimes I have clients come to me and label this stage as “depression” or “anxiety”. I’d like to encourage you to frame the dissatisfaction as information that’s signaling you to GROW, rather than label it as a permanent position that you’re stuck in.

Some of the negative self talk could be, “I will always feel this way–my life never goes the way I want it to.

How you frame it can change your experience of it. If you frame it as a signal for growth you will feel empowered and if you focus on it from a state of helplessness you will feel despair. It’s a choice.

The second stage of change is exploration. In this stage you feel the dissatisfaction, but you don’t quite know what would feel better to you. Or you have a sense of what would feel better, but you don’t know how to get there.

This is the stage where you explore all of your options and perhaps “try them on” to see how it would feel or you explore different ways you can get to where you want to go. It’s important to take your time in this phase and truly explore.

People often get impatient and feel uncomfortable with the lack of certainty. They may even try to bypass this stage by just choosing something to get out of this stage. Unfortunately, if you let your impatience and discomfort get the best of you, you’ll run the risk of heading down a dead end road.

As a career development coach I strongly encourage my clients to know WHO they are before they decide WHAT it is they want to do. This requires self-assessment, self-discovery and self-confidence in your unique gifts and talents. Reassure yourself that you will come to an option that feels right to you, just give it time.

The other thing to watch in this stage is the opposite, which is exploring so much that you get confused and stuck in considering options. Sometimes people fear making a change and hang out in the exploration stage as a safety zone to not take any risks. Make sure you aren’t doing this either.

Stage three is what I call action or visualization. In this stage you have clarity about where you want to go and you start to develop a strategic plan to get there. You might know where you want to go, but you’re unclear of a plan to get there and this is something that can be established during this stage.

You may have developed somewhat of a plan in the exploration stage and in this stage you will clarify this plan and begin to implement it. In this stage it can be very helpful to work with a career coach to help you stay on track with your implementation. Without support the fears that surface may sidetrack you and stop you from moving forward.

You can also share with a close friend, partner, significant other or spouse and ask them to be an accountability buddy to you.

The other part of this stage is to spend time visualizing the positive outcome of your desired change. See it working out in the most optimal way. This vision can help keep you focused when your desired change is in process and not quite complete. The phrase “keep your eye on the prize” is fitting here.

When in doubt, choose change. — Lily Leung

The fourth stage is stepping into the new. Moving into your change can be a gradual process or it could come more quickly (like your dream job lands in your lap overnight). Either way there is an adjustment phase to the new change.

There can be feelings of loss from letting go of the old, even if you were dissatisfied, because it represented the familiar to you. With the new changes may come feelings of having a new identity or parts of you being expressed that have never been expressed before.

Typically people feel more alive and vital in this stage. You can also feel a deep sense of satisfaction that you made a change that was in alignment with your true self and you feel on path with your life and career and that you are doing what you came here to do.

What stage are you in?

How are you framing this stage?

Are you viewing it positively or are you stuck in resisting it?

#3 DON’T BLOCK UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS

We have all developed ways to deal with, manage and process the discomfort that can accompany significant life changes. One way is to create blocks to protect ourselves against emotional pain and discomfort. We all have different methods of protecting against this. Such as, over thinking, overeating, overworking, being obsessed with being perfect, over-focusing on others, daydreaming, watching TV, or reading etc.

The last two I mentioned, watching TV and reading can either be coming from an intention to block what’s uncomfortable and avoid or they can be a healthy form of enjoyment. For example you can watch a movie to avoid some painful or uncomfortable feelings you are having and you want to escape or you want to have some enjoyment and fun by watching the movie, same activity but different intentions.

The methods we use to block feeling discomfort can get in the way of us feeling deeply connected to ourselves and our capacity to connect with others. Our feelings are part of us and if we are blocking them, we’re missing a deep connection with ourselves and our purpose.

We all have the capacity to process our feelings, comfort ourselves or get support and comfort from those around us. You don’t have to go it all alone. The truth is, the part of you that’s trying to protect yourself actually needs to be reassured of this. Therefore, it’s essential to be clear with your loved one about how you’d like to be supported.

#4 INITIATE ASKING 

Here’s where your spouse, partner or significant other can come in and provide support for whatever it is that you’re experiencing. The key here is that you do have to initiate asking for it by being very clear about how you would like to be supported. Don’t expect others to have the ability to read your mind.

It can take time for our defenses and discomforts to relax and acclimate to what is truly happening during a career change. It’s normal to try to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed. Reassure yourself that you can handle this transition. I encourage you to find ways to process how you’re feeling by journaling or utilizing other creative outlets to express yourself.

#5 PARTNER WITH A CAREER DEVELOPMENT SPECIALIST 

Partnering with a certified career development coach to help you through the career change process is also a wise option. I caution you to place the expectation on your family or loved ones to guide you through the career planning strategies and tactics when this is not their area of expertise. Allow them to be your primary emotional support and hold witness to your ups and downs without judgment. Allow them to believe in you and your fullest potential when you’re in self doubt.

To recap, here are the key take-aways to ensure that you’re getting the right support from your spouse, partner or significant other when you ask for it, while navigating a career change.

Key Take-aways

  • Ask yourself what support looks and feels like to you
  • Be aware of the reasons why you’re experiencing a career change
  • Understand the 4 stages of change and identify the stage you’re in, as you navigate the transition
  • Don’t block uncomfortable feelings, but rather share with your spouse, partner or significant other what you’re  experiencing and how you’re feeling
  • Initiate the ask and be clear about how you’d like to be supported – don’t assume others can read your mind!
  • Partner with a Career Development Specialist who can help you move through the career change process that involves, self-assessment, self-discovery, career exploration and decision making, planning and implementation.

Helpful Resources:

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

EP35: 3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

EP23: How to Navigate Life and Career Transitions

Career Happiness Guide Free Download

Free Career Coaching Consultation with Teena Evert

Until next time, Be Confident!

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CEO Claim The Lead

episode 39 Career Change, Barriers, Fears, and Stragegies

EP39: CAREER CHANGE BARRIERS, FEARS, AND STRATEGIES

episode 39 Career Change, Barriers, Fears, and Stragegies

Episode 39: Career Change Barriers, Fears, and Strategies

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today, I am talking about Career Change Barriers, Fears, and Strategies one of my favorite topics!

Since graduating from college, I have changed my career many times and have negotiated even more life transitions! 

Early in my career, I felt that there were more barriers to continue with my work living in remote Alaska as a Fisheries Biologist, so I sought out a change. I was also fearless and optimistic in my 20’s and really didn’t let anything get in my way. I also didn’t have any real strategies in place or any kind of formal guidance. As a result, my career path was 100% determined by happenstance. 

Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. – Art Linkletter

John Dwight Krumboltz was an American psychologist who made an important contribution in the field of occupational and vocational guidance. In his book, Luck Is No Accident, he encourages his readers to prepare for the unexpected and to take advantage of chance events in order to make the most out of random “happenstances”. He states that unplanned events and chance occurrences more often determine life and career choices than all the careful planning we do. This was true for me. I experienced chance meetings, seasonal jobs, sudden job loss and many hobbies that led me in unexpected life directions and career choices.

Today, over 20 years later, I am proud to say I am a passionate career and life coach who has had the honor of helping a lot of people navigate life transitions, especially when it comes to changing careers. This can be a difficult process, especially if you don’t know what you don’t know and if you don’t have guidance or a strategy in place.

William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, talks about the difference between change and transition. He describes change as something that is situational and can happen quickly. It could be an external event taking place, a change in leadership, or a new strategy or product. When change occurs the focus is typically on the outcome that the change will produce.

Bridges describes transition as the inner psychological process that people go through as they internalize and come to terms with the new situation that the change brings about. He describes the starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome, but the endings that people have in leaving an old situation behind. If the change is actually to work as planned then being able to negotiate the transition process is essential.

Nancy Schlossberg, researcher and author of many books on adults and transition, defines transition as any event, or non-event that results in changed relationships, routines, assumptions, and roles. Schlossberg emphasizes that perception plays a key role in transitions as an event, or non-event, and meets the definition of a transition ONLY if it is so defined by the individual experiencing it. In order to best understand the meaning that a transition has for a particular individual, the type, context and impact of the transition must be considered.

Types of transitions

⦿ Anticipated transitions, which occur predictably, such as a graduation from college
⦿ Unanticipated transitions are not predictable or scheduled, such as divorce, sudden death of a loved one or a job loss.
⦿ Non-event transitions are expected, but don’t occur, such as failure to be admitted into medical school or not receiving a job offer.
⦿ Context refers to the relationship with the transition and to the setting in which the transition takes place.
⦿ Impact is determined by the degrees to which a transition alters one’s daily life.

Many of the people I have coached came to me for help because they were ‘stuck’ in a career transition and their career development was blocked. I’ve worked with people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, where some are wondering if it’s time to make a career change and others who are already experiencing it.

I will be using both the terminology of career change and career transition to describe the process that one goes through when they’re experiencing a change, shift or major pivot in their career that impacts all areas of their life.

We all run into barriers when we experience significant life and career change. Let’s look at some of the most common barriers that can challenge our ability to negotiate this process.

⦿ Practical Requirements. The practical requirements of life can become barriers, such as needing money, having a roof over your head, raising a family, not being able to take time off from work or take a long break if laid off to look for the right job, or not having the right skills, or being in your 50’s and wanting enough money saved for retirement.
⦿ A Gap. A barrier to finding “Ideal” work is that there can be a huge gap to where you are now to where you want to be. For example, if you dream of being an engineer or getting out of law school there can be some tension built up – think about it like a rubber band and your ideal work is so far from where you are that the ideal is like the tension in the rubber band. My work as a career development and life coach is to lessen the tension of this rubber band through mindset, opportunity and choice, so that you can see the steps to reach your goal.
⦿ Not Feeling “At Home”. Another barrier is never quite feeling “At Home” in your career. Some people, particularly women may feel unfulfilled in their career in the administration field because they feel they never have enough clout and fear that their life has passed them by.
⦿ Transferable Skills. If you have been laid off or you’re in a dying career field a barrier to moving forward can be an inability to translate your job skills to a new career.
⦿ Fear. Fear can become another barrier, as we all know, it can hold us back and keep us from taking action. FEAR stands for ⦿ False Expectations Appearing Real. It’s important to realize that fear is present for everyone and it has the potential to serve as a catalyst for growth – if we’re not paralyzed by it.

What are some of the biggest fears you are facing?  What are the indicators that fear is in control? What strategies do you use to help move through the fear?

These are important questions to answer for yourself. There are several things that happen when we make a change, whether it’s by chance or by choice.

I think it’s true that people tend to feel uncomfortable about what they are giving up, they often hyper focus on what they’re giving up, they can also feel alone and start to isolate themselves.

People also have different levels of change readiness and may have a perception of limited resources. This often causes them to revert back to old behavior and settle back into where they were comfortable.

What have you experienced before when you made a significant life change? What slowed you down? What helped you make the change?

Strategies for negotiating a career transition

It’s important for people who are negotiating a career transition to know that they are not alone. Many people wonder where they fit in challenging economic times. As a career coach, I help people get going by strategizing about possible barriers, both internal and external and what is really holding them back from making changes. Coaching helps them gain more ideas, be more creative, become less anxious about the future and become more confident in building the life and career they choose.

Nancy Schlossberg is an expert on how people cope with transitions. Her interests include adult development, adult transitions, career development and adults as learners. She believes that everyone experiences transitions, which alter our roles, relationships, routines and assumptions.

Scholssberg was interested in understanding the variables that make the difference between how people negotiate a transition. Through her extensive research she identified four major sets of factors that influence a person’s ability to cope with a transition. They are known as the 4 S’s: situation, self, support and strategies.

The first S is the context of the Situation itself.

What precipitated the transition?
Is the transition considered “on time” or “off time” in terms of your social clock?

For example, if a transition occurs during a terrible situation, where there are many things happening in your life at once and this consumes all of your time and attention, then this will make the negotiation process much more complicated than if the context of the situation is less chaotic. So be aware of the complexity of your situation.

What aspect of the transition do you perceive as being within your control?
Is a role change involved and if so, do you view it as a gain or a loss?
Is this seem as permanent, temporary, or uncertain?
What is your experience with a similar transition and how effectively did you cope?
Are there other sources of stress present in your life?
Who or what is seen as responsible for the transition, and how is your behavior affected by this person?

The second S is Self and what you bring to the transition.

Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
Do you see the glass half full or half empty?

You are a potential resource in the negotiation process that strongly depends on how you manage your mindset.

According to Schlossberg, there are several factors that are important to consider in relation to the self. Personal and demographic characteristics affect how a person views life, such as socioeconomic status, gender, age, stage of life, state of health, and ethnicity. Another factor is the psychological resources including ego development, outlook and commitment and values.

The third S is Support.

What support do you have in place?
Key areas of support are your intimate relationships, family unit, network of friends, institutions and communities.

If you don’t feel as supported as you would like to be, what do you do to compensate for this?
Do you become fiercely independent and try to go it alone?
How do you self-sabotage?

The fourth S is Strategy.

What are your coping strategies?
How flexible are your coping strategies for dealing with the process of a transition over time?

It’s important to develop new coping strategies so that you can continue to move along your growing edge and not fall into old habits and patterns that not only keep you comfortable, but also stuck.

Start with the ending

The Transition Model developed by William Bridges states that a transition starts with an ending. This is really the first phase that we must go through where we identify what we are losing and learn how to manage these loses. It’s process, where we determine what is over and being left behind, and what you will keep. This may include relationships, processes, team members or locations.

Navigating the neutral zone

The second step comes after letting go and is referred to as the neutral zone. The neutral zone is when people go through an in-between time when the old is gone, but the new isn’t fully operational. It is when the critical psychological realignments and re-patterning take place. It is the very core of the transition process. This is the time between the old reality and sense of identity and the new one. People are creating new processes and learning what the new roles will be, but it’s in flux and doesn’t feel comfortable or familiar quite yet. William Bridges refers to it as the seedbed of the new beginnings that are sought.

Experiencing new beginnings

The final phase is where people experience new beginnings. Beginnings involve new understandings, new values and attitudes. Beginnings are marked by a release of energy in a new direction and they are an expression of a fresh identity. Well-managed transition allows people to establish in new roles with an understanding of their purpose, the part they play, and how to contribute and participate most effectively. They are reoriented and renewed.

Creating Meaningful Work

This leads to the creation of meaningful work. The core of my career coaching model embodies meaningful work. The phrase “meaningful work” means different things to different people. It is work that adds value, significance, and purpose to an individual’s life. It is customizable and unique to every individual that aligns with the true interests, values, and skills of that individual. Meaningful work can bring a positive sense of self, is often engaging and exciting and creates a sense of balance and ease.

If you are thinking about a career change or in the process of one and would like to be coached through the process to ensure you negotiate it in the best way possible, please reach out to me by scheduling a Free Consultation where I will have the opportunity to learn more about your situation and provide you with some recommendations and support.


HELPFUL RESOURCES

Strengths, Optimism, and Happiness Questionnaire

Luck Is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career by John D. Krumboltz, Ph.D and Al S. Levin, Ed.D.

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

Transitions Through Life Nancy K. Schlossberg 


If you are thinking about a career change or in the process of one and would like to be coached through the process to ensure you negotiate it in the best way possible, please reach out to me by scheduling a FREE Consultation where I will have the opportunity to learn more about your situation and provide you with some recommendations and support.

Schedule Your FREE Consultation Session

episode 38 energize your work life

EP38: ENERGIZE YOUR WORK LIFE

episode 38 energize your work life

Episode 38: Energize Your Work Life

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Today, I am talking about how you can energize your work life! Particularly if you are feeling a lack of motivation, boredom with your work tasks, or questioning whether there is something better out there for you!

I work with a lot of people who seem to have lost their mojo at work. For many reasons, their work day is more draining than energizing and despite their efforts, they have not been successful at changing this. They think perhaps changing jobs is the answer. Well, it might be, but it also might not be.

It’s best to look at your situation from different angles. Perhaps you can’t see the forest for the trees. You are so involved in the details of what you think the problem is that you can’t look at the situation as a whole and find a viable solution.

Now if you want to energize your work life, but you really hate going to work everyday…this will require a major attitude adjustment and a significant mindset shift.

If you’re stuck in a rut feeling like you’re constantly having crappy things happen to you day-in-and-day-out, with no control over what is happening to you, then you’re probably burying yourself in negativity. You’ve got to start climbing your way out of this deep dark well by introducing positive things into your life and take back control of fueling your spirit, your power, and your purpose – more on this later.

If you’re bored at work from the repetition and lack of stimulation or you’re feeling resentful because your day revolves around when or if everyone else needs something from you – Then I bet you are tired from giving more to others then to yourself. Sound familiar?

I get it, I’ve been there!

I have been in all of these situations, more than once, and from my own struggles, I want to share some of my strategies and tips to help you feel more energized at work, regardless of where you are at along your career path.

First and foremost, is to learn how to claim the lead in your life, by regaining control when you feel like you have lost it, by recharging your energy when it’s been depleted, by reviving your spirit when you feel it has nearly shriveled up and died, and restoring your confidence when it’s been eroded by giving away your power.

Adjusting your attitude

When we feel we have lost a sense of control in our lives we get bogged down by our responsibilities in life to the point where we just can’t seem to get back on top of it – at this point it’s easy to slip into a negativity and have a pretty poor outlook on our future.

So how when you have a negative attitude and you feel bogged down how do get back on top of things and feel positive again? First, you have to take a pause long enough to reflect on what you’ve been doing that’s not working.

Do you know how many positives you need for every negative in order to turn it around? Or in other words how many positives it takes to cancel a negative?

The optimal ratio is 5 positives for every 1 negative. Having a positive perspective is something that careerists can work on everyday. Here are 3 ways you can start to regain control, get back on top of your responsibilities and work on seeing things in a more positive way at work.

  1. Let your co-workers and colleagues influence you. When you have irresolvable problems in the workplace, you can either hold resentment against others or accept what cannot change. When you accept others different points-of-view and perspectives, you also accept their influence when discussing problems.
  2. Increase your sense of appreciation for others at work. A simple way to do this is to let your co-workers and colleagues know of at least one thing each day that you appreciate about them or about something they did. What are they adding to your life at work?
  3. Create an emotional connection by letting others know you value their presence and what they have to say. An emotional connection starts by making eye contact, smiling, and responding with validation.

When you accept influence, increase your sense of appreciation and emotionally connect with others on a regular daily basis, it helps you have a positive attitude and therefore boosts your energy at work. When this happens you might feel more of a desire to collaborate with others to find solutions to pressing issues that have been impacting your productivity.

Shift your mindset

Another key strategy to regain control and energize your work life is shifting your mindset.

Do you often try new things and push yourself into uncharted territory in your development? Or do you tend to stick with what you know?

How you answer these questions will reveal your mindset.

Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck was curious why some people, in life thrive while others flounder. She studied the underpinnings of success and achievement for over four decades. Her major contribution is the distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

Let’s explore what these mindsets really mean, why they are important and how you can change your mindset.

In a fixed mindset, individuals believe they are either born with talent or they’re not. They’re either naturally good at something, or they’re not. They view intelligence as a fixed trait. They believe inborn talent determines success.

Individuals with a growth mindset believe talent comes through effort. They believe anyone can be good at anything; that their abilities can be developed through dedication, perseverance, and the right strategy.

The bottom line is that Individuals with a fixed mindset seek to validate themselves. Individuals with a growth mindset focus on developing themselves. Although this distinction may seem simple, the implications are enormous.

Dangers of a fixed mindset

Individuals who adopt a fixed mindset rarely excel at anything. Because they believe their intelligence and abilities are what they are, they invest their energy in looking smart instead of learning and developing.

In a fixed mindset, if you try something you’ve never done before, say skiing, you’ll likely give up after falling a few times. This “failure” will feel humiliating and you’ll probably avoid skiing for the rest of your life. You’ll make an excuse like, “Skiing just isn’t my thing.”

With a fixed mindset, you avoid new challenges like the plague because you’re afraid of being judged. As such, when obstacles arise, you tend to give up quickly because you feel that putting forth effort is a waste of time – and you secretly feel threatened and envious of the success of others. Ultimately, in a fixed mindset, you don’t have a chance to develop your potential.

It’s incredibly harmful to hold a fixed mindset, to believe intelligence and talent is static. Yet, most of us hold a fixed mindset in multiple areas of our lives.

Power of a growth mindset

In a growth mindset, you believe you can develop any ability through dedication and hard work. Because of this belief, you have a desire to learn. This enables you to embrace challenges and persevere when setbacks invariably arise during the learning process.

With a growth mindset, you view effort as an essential ingredient on the ​path to mastery​. You don’t shy away from effort; you embrace it. And when you see others succeeding on their path to mastery, you find inspiration and lessons to learn for your own development. A growth mindset leads you into an upward spiral of continuing developing, reaching ever-higher levels of ​personal mastery​ and achievement.

These ​growth minded individuals​ have more peak experiences, improved relationships, and greater productivity in their field.

You can also have a mixed mindset, a combination of the two, although Dweck says people tend to lean toward one or the other. The good news is that you have a choice. “Mindsets are just beliefs,” ​Dweck explains​. “They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

Changing your mind and choosing your mindset can have a BIG impact on how energized you feel at work today as well as along your future career path.

Creating clear emotional boundaries

Another important strategy for energizing your work life is to learn how to stop one of the most common energy leaks – a lack of clear emotional boundaries.

When we allow ourselves to become drained physically, emotionally and energetically we often find ourselves also struggling with various levels of anxiety and depression. One of the things that contributes to these symptoms being mild, moderate or high is the health of our emotional boundaries.

When we have emotional boundaries we can stay clearly centered on our own feelings and take care of them without taking on other people’s feelings resulting in emotional overwhelm.

We get emotionally overwhelmed because people around us are feeling strong emotions that they aren’t taking care of – so lacking clear boundaries – we can unconsciously take these emotions on. You might not be aware that this is happening, but you certainly are aware of how uncomfortable the impact of it is on you.

Once you understand the dynamic that is happening you can take the next step which is to shift the dynamic in order to recharge your energy reserves and prevent constant depleting.

3 tips to help you develop clear emotional boundaries

  1. Learn to pull your energy field closer to your body. We all have an energy field that extends beyond us and if it is out too far we are able to feel what others are feeling more intensely. By pulling this in closer to your body, by actually visualizing it coming in closer, you can stay centered in your own body and not take on others emotions.
  2. Learn to make distinctions between your natural empathy versus care-taking energy, which is when we take on others emotions and run them through our own body. You can say to yourself something like, “I care about this person and I feel empathy for their feelings, but I don’t need to run those feelings through my own body.” Then you can visualize handing these feelings back to the other person
  3. Get clear that it is OK for others to be in a different emotional state than you. For example, if you are happy and the other person you are with is sad—it is OK for you to stay happy and extend compassion to the person for their sad feelings. It is OK for you to be happy and for them to be sad. This is an emotional boundary. You can affirm to yourself: “We can be in different emotional states and still be very connected.”

Once you begin to practice establishing your own emotional boundaries, it will be much easier to take care of your own issues and more quickly recover from feeling physically drained anxious or depressed at work.

Connecting to your resources

If you have been feeling a lack of motivation and purpose in your life, then this strategy will be sure to revive your Spirit. Accessing your resources will bring you back to feeling grounded and nourished in present time.

Your resources are the things that give you strength and nourishment.
One of the most frequent topics of conversation that I have had with clients both, as a mental health professional and life and career coach has been on the topic of resources.

A resource in this context is anything that supports, nurtures, stabilizes, and strengthens you from the inside out. We have all experienced difficult times in our life. Ask yourself, “Given that I’ve been through a lot, what gave me the strength to come through or to go on?” “What gives me inner strength in life? What do I enjoy the most in life?

By recognizing what has worked or what is working well in your life is a resource. A resource is any positive memory, person, place, action, or personal capacity that creates a soothing feeling in your body. You can actively use these resources to help reduce chronic and acute stress and therefore stimulate a state of relaxation and well-being. It is important to focus on what is healthy in you.

By identifying what allows you unwind, relax and enjoy moments in life, worry-free will help you stay energized in both your personal and professional life.

Owning your power

The last strategy I’ll share with you today has to do with giving yourself permission to be powerful. This is certainly NOT about abusing your power for person gain, this is about being comfortable and confident in your skin by knowing your values, embracing your worth and speaking your truth.

Take inspired action towards what you want by being proactive, initiating change – not just standing by waiting for life to give you what you want. You must give yourself permission to be in your power and be confident in going after what you want. This will result in feeling highly energized and connected to purpose as well as your professional identity.

Conclusion

I covered a lot in this episode…let me recap the strategies that will help you ENERGIZE your work life, regardless of how depleted you are feeling.

First claim the lead in your life by adjusting your attitude and following the 3 ways you can work on seeing things in a more positive way at work.

Next, regain control by shifting your mindset, meaning do whatever it takes to develop a growth mindset, rather than stay in a fixed mindset. This is essential for your development and ability to move forward with ease and delight.

Create clear emotional boundaries to plug the most common energy leak. Connect to your resources for nourishment and strength – and give yourself permission to restore your confidence by owning your power.

If you would like additional support to help implement any of these strategies so that you can improve your life, your energy and your career development, then I invite you to schedule a Free consultation session.

Until next time…

Be Confident!

EP37: MANAGING STRESSFUL WORK RELATIONSHIPS

Episode 37: Managing Stressful Work Relationships

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


Stressful work relationships

Relationships at work can be stressful indeed. Think about what it is about a particular relationship at work that creates stress for you?

Perhaps you don’t feel understood or respected by someone you work closely with. Or maybe you feel criticized by your boss or set up for failure by your team.

Whatever it is, it’s stressful and you need to find a solution so you don’t have to worry about losing your cool or your job for that matter.

I had a client, I’ll call him Bill and he came to me for help because he had a stressful relationship with not only his co-workers, but his boss. He was told that if he didn’t change his attitude he was out. Bill came to me to try and figure out what he could do to improve his relationships, primarily so he didn’t lose his job. The first thing we did was examine the feedback that he was receiving from people at work. He was told that he wasn’t approachable and lacked enthusiasm on his team.

At first Bill wanted to spend time looking at all the things his co-workers and boss were doing that upset him. Their behaviors at the office left him feeling disrespected and not valued in his role as an executive. As a result, he worked harder, which meant he was preoccupied with work tasks and rarely looked up from his desk when someone approached him with a question. He worked through lunch and didn’t engage in office small talk when others stuck around the office and socialized during the lunch hour.

Through our work together Bill was able to do some self-reflection and gain awareness and understand about how he was being perceived by others. He started to see why people felt he wasn’t approachable. He realized that by not making eye contact and neglecting giving his full attention when asked a question, people could feel dismissed, unimportant or get the vibe that he just didn’t want to be bothered.

In reality, because of the stressful work relationships, Bill put pressure on himself to be super productive, which caused him to be driven by achieving tasks and was less interested or motivated by social interaction and engagement at the office. He realized that although his preference is to be task-focused he was able to make some adjustments in his attitude and behavior that as a result began to make a positive impact on his work relationships.

By taking the time to make eye contact when speaking with another and to ask questions and actively listen more, he started to feel more connected to his co-workers and his co-workers felt more at ease with him. Overtime, Bill started to feel more motivated at work and took breaks from his tasks to be more social even though he preferred not to at times.

Bills ability to reflect on his part of the stress in his work relationships allowed him to take responsibility for change and he took specific actions to get his desired results. He no longer feels like his job is on the line and he is enjoying himself more at work with his co-workers. His boss was also pleased and gave Bill a promotion.

Self-reflection & self-awareness go a long way

This illustrates the importance of self-reflection and self-awareness about how you are being perceived by the people that you work with.

What does your body language communicate to them? If you don’t feel you are being treated fairly or in the manner that you desire, what can you do to start to shift this?

Changing your perception and being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, can help you see the small changes you can make to get more of what you want with ease.

Let’s look at another scenario, where you feel you’re doing everything right yet your efforts are not having a positive impact on your stressful work relationships. You feel like no matter what you do, nothing changes and if anything – it’s getting worse. You wonder if someone is out to get you. You certainly don’t like to be talked down to or criticized by your boss. You feel like you are walking on eggshells and it’s impacting your productivity and overall job performance.

Power and control

What can you do to manage these super stressful work relationships? There is not one solid solution for every difficult work relationship issue, however, you can work towards improving the situation by first assessing what is in your power and control to change and what isn’t.

Only focus on what’s within your power and control to change not what isn’t. What you have power and control over changing, is the way you behave and respond to interpersonal stress.

If you are not taking any action and camping out in the back seat, but harboring anger about where things are going, then you’re disempowering yourself. On the other hand if you are being an aggressor and trying to control the situation with intimidation and threats, then you are abusing your power. And even if this is being done to you, well, two wrongs don’t make a right.

If you don’t believe me, ask yourself how that strategy is working for you so far? Are you any less stressed or is your blood pressure rising? So what’s the solution and best way to manage stressful work relationships?

3 very powerful and important tips

  1. What are you no longer willing to tolerate? Write down how you feel and the behaviors that are contributing to your internal stress. Get clarity about what the barriers are to accomplishing what you need to and desire in your role.
  2. Assess what is within your control to change and what is outside of your control and let it go. Focus only on what is within your control to change and do your best to show up and respond to situations with integrity. At the end of the day if you know you are doing the best you can given the circumstances you will feel empowered even if things aren’t always turning out in your favor.
  3. Recognize that you may need to make some difficult decisions that require courage and change. Choosing to leave a toxic work environment is not easy, especially when our work is important to us for a variety of reasons.

In many ways, work establishes an identity that shapes the way we relate to people and how they in turn, relate to us. People who are experiencing a career change can often feel they have lost their identity or are desperate for money. Job loss and extended unemployment can also reinforce negative thoughts and feelings such as depression, anger, anxiety, or hopelessness.

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. – Tich Nhat Hahn

Be ready, willing and able to change

As a former marriage and family therapist, who has worked with hundreds of highly distressed couples, one of the most common behavioral patterns that I saw were people trying to change their partner. They believed that if their partner would just change, everything would work out just fine. It was not until they were ready, willing and able to look at themselves, that things started to shift for the better. This was not easy, nor did it always result in a marriage staying together.

I often told my couple client’s not to be attached to the outcome, but rather be invested in the process. I say the same thing to people who are struggling with stressful work relationships. Most people are resistant to change and this resistance can become what sabotages the potential for success.

Moving onto something new once you’ve given it your all, can be perceived as a good thing. So do your best managing yourself and managing your stress in response to others and you will be on the path to success.

To learn more about how to manage stress at work, listen to EP36: How to Manage Stress at Work and Build Resilience.

Learning to communicate more effectively is essential to managing stressful work relationships. More often than not, there are barriers to communicating effectively that are the root cause of interpersonal stress.

Conversational Intelligence is a method that can provide tools to communicate in a way that builds trust, reduces conflict and minimizes stress because it allows for more successful outcomes.

To learn how to replace conflicts with conversations and reduce stressful work relationships, I have provided you with a tool to help guide you through the process of having more effective conversations. You can download it here

If you’re in a situation where you feel stuck and would like to receive professional support to free yourself from the struggle, I invite you to schedule a FREE consultation with me.

Be Confident – 

teena-everts-signature

CEO Claim The Lead

ep35 The Confident Careerist Podcast

EP35: 3 ESSENTIAL STEPS TO MAKE INFORMED CAREER DECISIONS

ep35 The Confident Careerist Podcast

Welcome to The Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life. 


Meet Mollie, she is a busy mid-career professional who holds a high stress position with a large company and is struggling to define her professional identity and feel secure in her career decisions. 

She wishes she woke up feeling fulfilled and energized to tackle her goals, but there’s just one problem – she’s not entirely sure what her goals are for her future. Because of that, Mollie is often consumed by negative thoughts and worries about the uncertainty of her indecisions. She is lacking presence in her relationships and with herself and feels stuck sitting at hesitation station. 

What she really wants is to gain clarity and confidence so that she can move forward, let go of the past, and find more meaning along her career path, instead of making excuses. Ultimately Mollie wants to live her life to the fullest, get unstuck for good and be happy and successful in her work-life.

You might be able to relate to ALL or parts of Mollie’s experience. You are not alone. Mollie took action by making the decision to invest in a career coach to help her gain clarity, confidence and direction she needed to get unstuck and move forward. Keep listening, as I share 3 important steps she took to do just that.

Become self-aware

Searching for the right career path requires establishing a career plan. A critical part of the career planning process is becoming self-aware, before even identifying career options and making important career decisions. Finding a path for your career that is meaningful and satisfying requires self-assessment to gain the self-awareness you’ll need to make informed career-decisions. This means exploring your true interests and passions, your values and personality preferences, as well as your strengths and transferable skills. 

WHO before WHAT

Gaining clarity about WHO you are will naturally lead you in the right direction towards WHAT it is that you want to do. This holds true whether you are a recent graduate and just launching your career or if you are an early, mid or late career professional who is looking for greater satisfaction in your current role or making a career change. There are several other factors that need to be taken into consideration when it comes to making important career decisions – Such as, what is your ideal work environment, what level of responsibility do you want and desire, and what are your salary requirements and preferences?

Career planning

Career planning helps you develop the “picture of your ideal job”. By exploring first WHO you are, followed by researching possible career and work options that fit your personality, you will be better equipped to consider economic realities and make important career decisions in a thoughtful way.

The first step of career planning that will most certainly inform your career decisions, is to ask yourself a few questions that probably don’t initially seem very career focused. By answering these 3 seemly simple questions, you will have more self-knowledge about your interests.

📌 In your free time, what do you like to do?

📌  What are your hobbies? You may not have realized it until now, but many hobbies are also industries. Therefore, if you identify a favorite hobby, you may also have identified a favorite field. This applies whether you are just starting out or itching for a change.

📌  When friends come to you for help with problems or questions, what are the kinds of problems or questions for which they seek your advice?

Create the life you envision

It is possible to transform your interests into job targets. This is a process that I coach my clients through to help them create the kind of life that they envision for themselves. Especially those who feel like they are stuck in a rut and want to do something that feels more like they are truly making a difference at the end of the day. The focus is on both self-understanding and gaining knowledge about the job market.

The second key step of the career planning process is to identify your strengths and transferable skills. What makes a transferable skill a strength is when you identify the skill as something you are highly proficient in and that you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it and it’s not important to you then it’s not a true strength.

What are transferable skills?

They are the basic building blocks of a job that are not routed in any particular fields or content. A transferable skill is a developed aptitude or ability and is considered a functional skill. I help my clients identify their top 5 transferable skills through a combination of formal and informal assessments. This brings clarity, validation and confidence to their strengths and ability to move to the next steps of career goal setting.

Develop an action plan

The third step is to know that career decision-making is a process that takes time. It involves retrieving comparative information about career options, testing assumptions and drawing conclusions and looking at the pros and cons of the different job targets that have been identified. And finally, to develop a comprehensive action plan that showcases both your strengths and accomplishments so that you are following a career path that is meaningful and satisfying and supports your lifestyle.

Set yourself up for success

If you truly want to get a head start in your career, whether you are just starting out or making a significant career change, first you have to be willing to explore who you are on a deeper level. What you are choosing to do for a living is not just a job that provides a paycheck, it is something that inspires you and motivates you to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

The career planning and decision-making process is not a fast-track to success; however, if you take the time to gain clarity about your requirements and preferences you will set yourself up for long-term success, not just short-term gratification.

And lastly, feeling confident in the decisions you make about your life and your future is empowering. When you feel empowered it shows in your actions and success is accelerated along your chosen career path because you are more focused, strategic and values driven.


Once Mollie was able to identify and acknowledge her true strengths and values, her confidence in herself grew and her motivation for creating positive change in her life became unstoppable. She began to advocate for herself more at work and received a promotion that provided her with the level of responsibility and support that she desired. She also gained greater clarity about the skill areas that she wants to further development and as a result, she created a short term and long-term plan for her success.

Mollie is happy in her new role and trusts that her career planning will keep her from feeling stuck. She has a renewed sense of purpose at work that has positively influenced other important areas of her life.

If you are listening to this episode and can relate to Mollie’s struggles and want to get unstuck, feel a renewed sense of purpose at work and keep moving forward along a career path that is both meaningful and satisfying – then I invite you to reach out for support – I’m here to to guide you.

Bye for now!

Creating a FRESH Start in 2020

EP34: Creating a FRESH START

Creating a FRESH Start in 2020

EP34: Creating a FRESH START in 2020

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life.


It’s a New Year and a New Decade!

This is an opportunity for all of us to create a FRESH START, which means you can start a new year in a completely new and different way after perhaps being unsuccessful in certain areas of your life.

It’s a big chance for you to start-off with the intention to invest in your success by devoting quality time and energy toward your personal growth and professional development in the year 2020.

I will be your guide to help you be both happy and successful at whatever it is you are intending to put your focus and energy towards this first month of the new year and new decade!

Let’s start-off with a FRESH START and create a new and different way to improve your work-life.

Are you with me?

Okay, then we’ve got to set the stage if we want to experience something new and different this year. With that said, I have a five very important questions for you.

You’ll want to write these down. If you’re not in a place to write them down at the moment, don’t worry! I will provide a special link to these questions titled “FRESH START”, in the show notes.

Why is this important?

To create a FRESH START and approach things in your life in a new and different way, you must assess the things that you are no longer willing to tolerate, that drain your energy and suck the living-life right out of you.

This ensures that when it comes time to create momentum and move forward at a healthy pace, you won’t be stuck sitting at hesitation station wondering why you have so much resistance to living a more meaningful life.

That’s what setting the stage for experiencing something new and different can do for you and what these 5 questions are designed for. They guide you down the right path that leads to greater success and happiness.

Are you still with me?

Okay, good! I’m glad you’re still here.

I believe you can create an ideal work life. However, this requires taking full responsibility and accountability for your personal growth and professional development.

That means you have to become self-aware of what part you are playing in the narrative of your life and make a conscious choice to change whatever it is you keep complaining about.

You will complain less, if stop blaming others for your dissatisfaction. Yes, I know there are many things in life that are outside of your control AND there are many things that are also within your control.

Get clear on what is outside of your control and stop giving it your time and energy because it will drain you. Instead get clear on what is within your control and focus your time, energy and resources on changing this and only this.

You’ve heard it before…and it’s still true in 2020! You can’t change another person you can only change how your respond to them or the situation.

Empower yourself and claim the lead in your life. Stop sitting in the passenger’s seat of your life being driven around to places you don’t even want to go. Take the wheel, pick your route and start traveling in the right direction.

Let me be your guide!

I’d be happy to help. Why should you listen to me? Well it’s your choice to do so or not of course, but I will share with you something that I am not particularly proud of, but it has led me here doing what I love and for that I am grateful.

Here’s something I have never shared before….

Since graduating from college, I have changed careers 7, yes SEVEN TIMES!

And while I was working as a licensed mental health professional, I went through many career pivots in my 40’s.

What is a career pivot?

A career pivot is the act of finding a different career, which is still reliant on your current skills, but helps you move into a new trajectory. … Often the draw of a career pivot, compared to a career change, is that you don’t have to restart at the bottom of the ladder. In the past 10 years I have made probably about 5 pivots as I had the opportunity to specialize in different areas of the mental health field.

NOW as a certified career and life coach, I feel I am on a solid path that I love and for once in my life it feels easy. I’m in the flow and thoroughly enjoy helping people create their ideal career path that brings as much joy and meaning as mine does.

If you want to learn more about my career journey, please listen to Episode 33.

Before I reveal the five questions that will allow you to set the stage for your future happiness and success. I would like to spend a few minutes informing you about the distinctions between traditional psychotherapy and coaching.

The distinctions can be considered in 3 broad categories:

The first category is Past vs Future. There are different perspectives on the process. Therapy frequently focuses on the past and generally assumes the client has a problem that needs solving; coaching focuses on the future and assumes the client is whole and has the innate wisdom and tools to have a wonderful life.

The second category is Fix vs Create. There is a difference in why clients seek services. Clients generally seek a therapist as a resource to fix or eliminate their problems; clients seek a coach to assist them in getting more out of their lives or creating new possibilities in their lives.

The third category is different characteristics of the helper-client relationship. Therapy clients generally see the therapist as an expert who holds the answers and techniques to fix their problems; coaching clients see the coach as a partner to support their growth and efforts to create an even better life than they have now.

Coaching is not about fixing; it’s about creating.”

As a licensed mental health professional who has fully transitioned into career, life and leadership coaching, I work with people who are more interested in designing a future rather than getting over a past.

Clients who want to live their life more fully both personally and professionally value having a personal coach. Because of this, professional men and women and entrepreneurial small business owners, hire me because they want their vocation to reflect their values.

I coach career-oriented early and mid-career professionals on how to develop, grow and advance along their career path. I help men and women build the confidence they need to go after career dreams and live the life they envision for themselves.

My primary focus is on guiding and empowering them to make decisions and set goals based on knowledge of themselves and the market and take steps to realize their fullest potential.

Through a blend of coaching, counseling, proven step-by-step strategies and methods layered with direct feedback and a holistic non-judgmental approach, I give my clients the specific tools they need to design and manage a career that provides greater flexibility, freedom, success and happiness.

Asking Powerful Questions is one of the many tools I provide…

Here’s the first question:

#1 What are you no longer willing to tolerate in your life, work and relationships? These are the things you typically complain about, resist and drain your energy.

#2 What are the things in your life, work and relationships that you feel are going well for you right now? In other words, what is working for you.

#3 What would make these things even better for you? What needs to happen in order to improve these areas of your life?

#4 Where do you want to be in 3, 6, 12 months from now? What is the most important goal or big dream that you want to achieve?

#5 What are the problems that need to be solved in order to get there?

BONUS QUESTION: What is your intention for 2020?

I have created a handy dandy online form for you to review and answer these powerful questions to make it easy and accessible so that you will DO IT and you will receive a copy to refer to for future reference. 

This is just the beginning of your FRESH START so stay tuned for the next episode.

The Confident Careerist: Season 3

EP33: THE CONFIDENT CAREERIST

The Confident Careerist: Season 3

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to the Confident Careerist Podcast!

Yes, this is SEASON 3 and a rebrand and refocus of the podcast from Season 1 & 2 of the Claim The Lead title.

SEASON 3 is for professionals just like you who place a high value on their career development and strive for success while also seeking work-life balance.

My name is Teena Evert and I am delighted to be your host. I’m a careerist myself and a career development, leadership and life coach. I love what I do and I hope that you enjoy the creation of this podcast and allow it to be an important tool in your toolbox that will help you to accelerate your success, gain greater confidence and happiness in your work-life. 

Research consistently shows that more than 50% of professionals in the workforce are unhappy in their position. With so many looking to make career changes, but not knowing how to achieve their goals, career and life coaching are becoming increasingly important.


Today I want to share my story with you…

In this episode, I share some details about my own personal career journey and how I got to where I am today. There’s a theme you might pick up as you listen and that is a lack of guidance. Because I lacked the guidance along my life and career path, I provide this missing link for my clients. I engage them in powerful questions to help them make the best decisions for their future. 

As a coach and a counselor, I provide valuable services that foster personal and professional development that leads to greater confidence, success and happiness in your work-life. I offer a holistic and comprehensive approach as a career, life and leadership coach that addresses the whole person in order to support work-life alignment and long-term job satisfaction. 

I provide professionals with a structured process toward determining their next career step, setting goals based on knowledge of themselves and the market, and taking steps to realize their fullest potential. 

I am equipped to provide you with the best support possible, as I’m recognized by the National Career Development Association (NCDA) as a Certified Career Counselor (CCC). I hold the Global Career Development Facilitator (GCDF) credential through the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE). I completed a rigorous training program and earned the Certified Career Transition Coach (CCTC) credential from Career Thought Leaders (CTL) that signifies understanding of coaching best practices and career decision-making processes. I am also a Certified Conversational Intelligence Coach (CC-IQ) and a licensed mental health professional (LMFT) who values and understands the impact that mental and emotional health can have on the longevity of your vocation.

 My clients can approach our work together with confidence, knowing that they will have the structure, flexibility, and resources they need to navigate some of life’s most important challenges.

The Confident Careerist Podcast is a place to explore all things career and to give you the tools you need to be happy and content in your work life. 

Thank you listening to today’s episode. If you would like more individualized coaching and support I invite you to schedule a 30-minute consultation session with me – it’s Free!

Until next time – Be Confident! 

EP28 how to build rapport strengthen work relationships and achieve respect

HOW TO BUILD RAPPORT, STRENGTHEN WORK RELATIONSHIPS AND ACHIEVE RESPECT

EP28 how to build rapport strengthen work relationships and achieve respect

Strengthen your work relationships and advance your career

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. 

My name is Teena Evert, I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people develop greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in their work-life.  I help you unlock your possibilities and find a career you can love for life!

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an Exceptional Communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn: 

📌 The importance of being open to influence

📌 Conversational essentials and effective interpersonal skills

📌  Vital interpersonal skills shared by influential people

📌  How to establish rapport with someone you just met

Be open to influence

Being open to influence is the overarching mindset and attitude in order to really utilize all of these communication skills in a masterful and consistent way. When we’re open to influence we are connecting without judgement. We’re engaging and listening to what others are saying, rather than preparing for what we want to say next. When working with others it’s essential that we cultivate an open mindset and embody curiosity in order to deeply hear what others are saying without filtering it through our own agenda.

Being open to influence is the foundation for building rapport and strengthening our personal and professional relationships.

Our Brains are designed to be social and the need to belong is more powerful than the need for safety. When we feel rejected it activates our fear networks in our brain and increases the levels of a stress hormone, cortisol, which shifts us into a protective guarded behavior.

When we focus on inclusion and appreciation we reduce the level of cortisol and increase the levels of the bonding hormone, oxytocin.

Did you know that when we move from judging to appreciating we activate our sense of self and feel more connected and confident overall?

Let’s minimize the types of conversations that trigger fear, power plays, uncertainty, and a need to be right. Let’s reinforce the types of conversations that inspire transparency, relationship building, understanding, a shared vision of success, truth and empathy.

The need to connect is the most powerful force than any other in the universe. It is our nature to connect and choose belonging over safety.

How do you build rapport? It is not listening to understand, but listening to connect. How do you listen with non-judgment?

The importance of listening

▶︎ Transformational listening begins with the practice of listening to connect not judge or reject
▶︎ It’s bigger than listening to understand, which is more about listening to confirm what you know.
▶︎ It’s a way of listening to the other person with a focus on them not you.
▶︎ This releases a high level of the bonding hormone oxytocin into our body.

Listening to connect moves you to a more compassionate space as you focus your attention on the other person:

▶︎ What are they trying to say? What are they thinking? What are they hoping you will help them explore?

People thrive on connection and affirmation, not criticism and judgment.

When we listen to connect we improve our ability to connect, navigate and grow with others. We make better friends, better parents, better partners, better leaders, bosses, supervisors and co-workers.

Effective interpersonal skills is the key to success

Having strong interpersonal skills can magnify your personal power. Interpersonal communication describes the way we relate and connect with others, whether one-on-one, in small groups, or even one-to-many. This encompasses a wide variety of factors, including what we say, how we say it and how we behave while we’re saying it.

It’s a combination of the content of our speech and the nonverbal communication (body language, vocal tone, etc.) that affects, whether we’re able to get the intention of our message delivered and understood.

Several studies have been done and though the exact percentages vary, it’s generally accepted that when communicating face-to-face, about 7% of the communication is verbal meaning the words that you use that inform WHAT you say, and the rest is 55% visual (body language) and 38% vocal (tone of voice).

When communicating over the phone research found 84% of communication is vocal and 16% is verbal.

15 Vital Interpersonal Skills, shared by Influential People

Note how you measure up?

  1. Ability to work with people
  2. Social poise, self-assurance and confidence
  3. Ability to be considerate of others
  4. Communicates with professionalism, diplomacy and tact
  5. Has high emotional intelligence
  6. Ability to analyze facts, understand and solve problems
  7. Ability to make decisions
  8. Ability to maintain high standards
  9. Tolerance and patience
  10. Honesty and objectivity
  11. Organization and time management
  12. Ability to delegate effectively
  13. Enthusiasm and positivity
  14. Persuasiveness
  15. High concern for communication

How did you measure up?

Red flags

Here are some important interpersonal red flags to be aware of. As I share them please note which, if any- you’re challenged with:

►A weak or tentative handshake
► Nervous laugh or giggle
► Constantly apologizing
► Closed posture
► Inconsistent eye contact
► Nervous gestures, twitching, or rocking/swaying side-to-side
► Failure to speak up
► Extensive vocal pauses and filler words (um, uh, like, ya know, so, etc.)

If you find yourself challenged with any of these red flags, consider how you start to make improvements.

The first step is to be aware of what you’re doing by paying attention to aspects of your interpersonal communication style. Then you can make small adjustments than dramatically increase your personal power.

I’d like to share another way you can initially diminish your personal power, yet also recover quickly. Have you ever experienced an embarrassing communication moment where you put your foot in your mouth? I think we probably all have experienced this. It’s inevitable that if we choose to communicate, at some point in time, we’ll say the wrong thing at the wrong time. If we give into the fear of saying something wrong, it’ll become a barrier to communicating effectively.

You’re not alone. Most of us will do this at some point. What’s important is that we learn from it and move forward.

4 tips to recover from an embarrassing communication experience

  1. Assess the damage. Quickly assess the potential damage; if the effect is minimal, make a quick apology and move on. If more damage control is necessary, schedule a private face-to-face meeting to formally and sincerely apologize.
  2. Take responsibility. Determine what action you need to take to acknowledge the mistake publicly, to appease the offended party.
  3. Take action if necessary. Keep your reaction in line with the scope of the offense, and don’t make a bigger deal of something than you need to, because the truth is, people often quickly forget.
  4. Review your communication behaviors and make adjustments.

Keep in mind that sometimes we all speak before we think, but that’s not a reason to shut down. Instead, I encourage you to develop recovery strategies to regain your confidence as an effective communicator.

How to establish rapport with someone you just met

One of the first aspects of becoming an exceptional communication is building rapport with others. Until this aspect of communication is established – little else will be accomplished. People generally won’t listen well to someone they don’t feel a connection with. As I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, connection is the bond on which trust is built and you have credibility once a person trusts you.

The common goal in communication is a mutual exchange of ideas. You don’t need to know a person well to share that common goal.

6 important tips to improve your chances of being accepted

If you would like to increase your chances of being accepted into a group of people, even if you’re unsure if you have anything in common with them, apply these 6 tips:

  1. Be open to a mutual exchange of ideas
  2. Let go of your fear of not being liked or being different
  3. Take a chance and say hello!
  4. Think of what you want to learn from this interaction
  5. Don’t be on the defensive because your body language or voice tone will repel rather than attract – maintain a relaxed and open body posture
  6. Smile

3 learning styles

Another aspect of building rapport with others is understanding the different types of learning styles – auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.

People with an Auditory learning style tend to grasp information by listening. They might also value concepts, logical strategies and solutions. They might say, “I hear what you’re saying.” or “It sounds like xyz.”

People with a Visual learning style tend to prefer tuning into information that is read or seen. They value images, symbols, designs and models. They might say, “I can see it now, thanks for the clarification.” or “I can see what you mean with the illustration of your idea.”

People with a Kinesthetic learning style tend to learn information that they can touch or feel. They prefer hands-on experiential learning, rather than learning through reading or listening. They value intuition, insight and perception. They might say, “Could I role-play a difficult conversation with you? or “I prefer a hands-on approach to learning.”

We use all 3 learning styles, yet you’ll have a preferred style or combination. For example, I am primarily a visual learner, then kinesthetic followed by auditory. What learning style or combination predominately describes you?

Communication in conversations is about patterns and energy not just about information.

You’ll bring change into the world that will empower more transparency, stronger relationships, deeper understanding, broader and more profound and shared success, and most of all the ability to tell the truth – to close the gap that separates us – one from another.


Listen to previous episodes in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES:

EP26: How To Become an Exceptional Communicator To Advance Your Career

EP27: Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

EP29 Communicating in Tough Situations & Dealing With Difficult People at Work

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com 

Critical Skills for High-Impact Communicators

Important Communication Skills For Making a High Impact

Episode 27: Important Communication Skills For Making High Impact

Critical skills to further advance your career

The Claim The Lead podcast is for you if who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life

My name is Teena Evert and I am a Career-Centered Life Coach, Trainer and Podcast Host with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career so they can experience a high level of satisfaction and success. 

This episode is part of the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES that has been curated to help you become an exceptional communicator.

In this episode you’ll learn:

📌 Who and what is a high impact communicator?

📌  The essentials of clear and concise speaking

📌  Assertive communication behaviors to gain attention and acceptance

📌  Listening skills to greatly improve the effectiveness of your communication

Who and What is a high impact communicator?

A high impact communicator is someone who can communicate in a clear, concise, correct, creative and conversational way in both their written and spoken communication.

How well do you feel you communicate?

Have you ever had someone respond to you with, “I just don’t understand.” or “I thought you said…” It can feel frustrating to not have your message be understood by the listener and if this happens to you regularly, most likely your not be making your message clear.

The essentials of clear and concise speaking

You don’t need to overcomplicate your message with too many words. You can practice being clear and concise when delivering your message by following these three (3) steps:

  1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them.
  2. Tell them.
  3. Tell them what you told them.

These three steps will help you get to the point up front so that you aren’t making people guess what you’re talking about.

For example:

▶︎ In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to tell you about high-impact communication skills.

▶︎ High impact communication skills include the essentials of delivering a clear and concise message, assertive communication behaviors, and active listening skills.

▶︎ I told you that in today’s podcast episode you will learn 3 high-impact communication skills to help advance your career.

With that said, here are some tips to help you strive for clarity in your communication:

Use simple words. Big words can be confusing to the listener. Don’t use big words if simpler words will do

Use an active voice that is direct and authoritative, rather than a passive voice that can come across as that as weak and indirect.

Don’t use Jargon unless you are absolutely positive that others will know what it means.

Less is more. People can’t hear everything you say, if you give it to them in long drawn out monologues. Too much is just too much. Less is more be concise.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I just wanted to know what time is, not how to build a clock.” That is a plea for being more concise. You don’t have to tell someone everything about the subject, you just have to tell them what they need to know about the subject.

Preparation, planning and practice will help you to become more clear and concise in your communication. Communicating concisely is communicating considerately. People will pay greater attention to you and you’ll have a greater impact when you speak concisely.

Assertive communication behaviors to gain attention and acceptance

Assertive communication requires courage and self-management of your thoughts and emotions. When you practice being more assertive you’ll be more effective in gaining attention and acceptance amongst your colleagues, co-workers, family and friends.

► To be assertive is to stand up for your rights, without undue anxiety, and without infringing on the rights of others.

► Assertive communication is also about having healthy boundaries and showing up in your personal power by being clear, concise and nice.

Other assertive communication characteristics are:

► Being able to express feelings, wants, and needs clearly and appropriately.
► Listening without interrupting
► Feeling confident and in control of your emotions.
► Good eye contact and relaxed body posture
► Strong connection with others

Passive vs aggressive communication

Passive communication and aggressive communication are two other common and less communication behaviors. I will talk about them briefly and while I do, notice if you see yourself displaying any of their characteristics.

Passive communication behavior is driven by an emotional response that avoids any kind of confrontation. Passive communicators are usually very nice, dislike conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it. The problem is that they are often not clear and concise and generally lack self-esteem or self-confidence and feel that don’t have any rights. Outwardly nice, yet outwardly hostile. They often fall back on the old belief – “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.”

Here are other characteristics of passive communicators:

► Failing to speak up for themselves
► Allowing others to deliberately or inadvertently infringe on their rights
► Failing to express their feelings, needs or opinions
► Speaking softly or apologetically
► Exhibiting poor eye contact and slumped body posture

Aggressive communication behavior is a direct emotional attack or assault on another person. Aggressive communicators can be very impulsive and tend to dominate the conversation by using humiliation to try to control, criticism and blame.

An aggressive communicator has a low frustration tolerance, speaks in a loud demanding or overbearing voice, is often rude or threatening to others, doesn’t listen well, interrupts frequently, and uses ‘You’ statements, with an overbearing posture.

It’s also the most widely misinterpreted communication style. It’s not necessarily aggressive if you are a loud person. Someone is aggressive if they come at you with a very clear motive such as intimidation or belittlement.

These are aggressive postures:

► “You don’t have the right to xyz”
► “It’s my way or the Highway”
► Using inappropriate or foul language at someone to belittle or intimidate them
► They’re in your Face or in Your Space if they’re trying to intimidate or belittle you
► Idle Threats
► Personal Attacks (Physical or Verbal) public humiliation, verbal attack addressing someone’s personal character rather than their behavior is aggressive.

Practice standing your ground and asserting yourself confidently. Making your concerns known is key, but focusing only on your needs is aggressive. Assertiveness involves listening and understanding others needs as well as your own.

And we can’t leave out the passive-aggressive communication behavior, which describes someone who is outwardly nice, yet inwardly hostile, UNTIL they have brewed and stewed and worked themselves into a “mad.” Then they show up and verbally throw up on people.

Passive-aggressive communicators will often:

► Mutter to themselves, rather than confront the person or issue
► Have difficulty acknowledging their anger
► Use facial expressions that don’t match how they feel
► Use sarcasm
► Deny that there is a problem
► Appear cooperative while purposely doing things to annoy and disrupt
► Use subtle sabotage to get even

In EP 26, I talked about the 4 primary business communication styles and each of them as a communication preference.

  1. The Entertainer (Influencer) – prefers a conversational tone and values a sense of humor. They don’t like to get bogged down in the details and may need to hear a message more than once.
  2. The Commander (Driver) – prefers conciseness and organization, the value efficiency, are focused on the bottom line and want you to get to the point.
  3. The Feeler (Steady) – prefers a conversational tone and is extra-sensitive to nuances of language, they are good at reading between the lines.
  4. The Analyzer (Conscientious) – prefers direct, clear communication, with plenty of evidence to support the message.

It is important to be flexible and adaptable in your communication behavior.

Although learning to be assertive is the optimal choice the majority of the time aggressive and passive communication can also be the most appropriate choice in some situations.

For example – if a fire breaks out in a building and you are trapped inside, you bet that an assertive-aggressive communication style might come in handy to mobile people towards safety. An assertive-aggressive style is clear and concise communication that isn’t necessarily nice in the delivery verbally or nonverbally. There are times to be firm chosen deliberately and consciously not a reaction.

Passive-assertive communication is subtle, but still clear and concise communication. Assertively standing up for your desire to change the topic is a great example. If you’re in a meeting with your superiors and want to be respectful to their leadership as you bravely take a stand and speak up about a topic that is important to you.

Listening skills greatly improves your communication effectiveness

Being an exceptional communicator is not just about delivering words, it’s also about listening. We must master the art of listening assertively (not taking things personally, or project your insecurities or preconceived notions).

Consider these facts about listening:

▶︎ Humans have 5x more capacity to listen than to speak
▶︎ Four-fifths of our minds have the opportunity to wander while we are listening to someone
▶︎ We tend to spend this time formulating responses based on our own preconceived notions
▶︎ We only retain 30% of what was said, and only remember half of that
▶︎ We spend 47% of our time writing, typing, speaking or reading
▶︎ We spend 53% of our time listening to others!
▶︎ Most people are only 25% effective at listening
▶︎ Listening skills are poorest when we interact with the people we are closest to (family members and friends)
▶︎ Most people rate themselves as poor listeners – How about you?

Effective listening is active, not passive, and involves our whole bodies, not just our ears.

Effective active listening

Effective, active listening is at least as important as effective delivery of the message, though unfortunately the most often overlooked skill. Don’t be discouraged if you have trouble listening. Being a great listener requires practice. Being a great listener is dependent on these four (4) skills: focusing, reflecting, perceiving and responding. As I review these skills, evaluate your strengths and note the areas that may need some work.

▶︎ Focus. Make a conscious decision to focus on the speaker. In today’s society, that’s often much harder than it seems. The first step is to eliminate all the distractions, from your cell phone and computer to whatever is happening in the environment around you. You have to be disciplined and tell yourself that for a designated amount of time, you will respectfully give the other person all of your attention. Now, in an ideal world we can always put aside whatever we’re doing and make time to listen, but the reality is that providing someone this kind of focused listening takes discipline, practice and some planning.

▶︎ Reflect. At one level, reflection means showing the person that you are understanding – or not understanding – what they are saying. reflecting is all about how you demonstrate that you are in fact listening and understanding what the other person is saying. However, reflecting also refers to the way that we process information as we listen. If we are reflecting, we’ll ask questions to clarify or paraphrase what we think we’ve heard, just to be sure that we’re understanding the message. You can also demonstrate your understanding (or lack thereof) with encouraging, nodding or hand gestures.

▶︎ Perceive. The next skill, to perceive, refers to our ability to read between the lines. Most communication happens through nonverbal channels. Great listeners read body language, facial expressions and vocal characteristics which help them perceive the story beyond just what the speaker is saying.

▶︎ Respond. When appropriate, ask questions, show empathy and reflect back what you’re hearing. Offer a solution or advice ONLY when requested. Sometimes the most difficult – and yet the most powerful – response can be absolutely nothing. Silence speaks volumes, and when paired with a variety of facial expressions can mean very different things. Most of us find silence to be awkward, so it can sometimes be an effective way to encourage someone to keep talking, or to stop and assess what they’re saying and reconsider a new course.

Today, I shared with you several critical skills for high-impact communicators that I hope you will begin to apply to life and practice often.

Before I wrap up this episode, I want to speak to one more thing to help you step more fully into becoming an exceptional communicator.

And that is being open to influence. Being open to influence is the overarching mindset and attitude in order to really utilize all of these communication skills in a masterful and consistent way. When we are open to influence we are connecting without judgement. We are engaging and listening to what others are saying even thinking, rather than preparing for what we want to say next. When working with others it’s essential that we cultivate an open mindset and embody curiosity in order to deeply hear what others are saying without filtering it through our own agenda.


Stay tuned for Episode 28 in the CAREER ADVANCEMENT SERIES where you’ll learn “How To Build Rapport, Strengthen Your Work Relationships and Achieve Respect”

If you would like to explore any of these topics further and receive additional support and coaching, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by sending an email to support@teenaevert.com

The Art of Negotiation for Women

THE ART OF NEGOTIATION FOR WOMEN

The Art of Negotiation for Women

NEGOTIATION IS A LIFE SKILL

Welcome to Season 2: Episode 25 of the Claim The Lead Podcast.

SEASON 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life. My name is Teena Ever and I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance.

Today’s Episode is about The Art of Negotiation for Women. I’ll be speaking with Carrie Gallant. Carrie inspires and empowers women to think bigger, negotiate more powerfully and step up into greater influence and impact. She is President of Gallant Solutions Inc., and founder of The Gallant Leader™ Academy and the EARN Your Worth™ Leaders Lab.

Carrie is a dynamic speaker, facilitator and pay equity advocate and brings her experience as an executive, former practicing lawyer and adjunct law professor to her work in helping clients master the art and science of negotiation and influence, conflict resolution and Conversational Intelligence®. 

Carrie’s Art of Negotiation for Women approach is featured in The Women’s Enterprise Centre’s Negotiation for Women Entrepreneurs programs, and in author Tara Mohr’s acclaimed leadership program “Playing Big”. Carrie has also appeared in Cosmo Magazine, goop.com, vice.com, The Globe and Mail, The Financial Post, and CBC Radio. She is also a certified in Conversational Intelligence®, a certified facilitator of Authentic Leadership Conversations™ and Authentic Leadership for Teams™, and a qualified assessor of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®). 

I am delighted to have her on the podcast as she is wise and passionate about helping women learn the art of negotiation. It’s a life skill that all women should develop to empower them in both business and personal relationships. 

In this episode you will learn:

📌 Why negotiation is important for women

📌  What it is about negotiation that freaks women out

📌  The biggest mistakes women make when it comes to negotiating

📌  The benefits for women in learning how to negotiate as a life skill

📌 How to check your negotiation competency


WHERE TO FIND CARRIE 

http://GallantLeader.com

The Unstoppable You™ Negotiation & Influence Competencies Quiz: https://negotiationcompetencies.com


To receive personalized life or career development coaching to create a more meaningful well-lived life, please send an email to Teena Evert at support@teenaevert.com

EP 24 Balance and Boundaries in Business

BALANCE AND BOUNDARIES IN BUSINESS

EP 24 Balance and Boundaries in Business

HOW TO CREATE BOUNDARIES AND WORK-LIFE BALANCE

You are listening to Season 2: Episode 24 of the Claim The Lead Podcast. 

SEASON 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My name is Teena Evert and my intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life. I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career. 

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance. 

In this episode you will learn: 

📌 How to create work-life balance

📌 4 Keys to help you create practical boundaries

📌 5 Questions to help you choose and set healthy boundaries

📌 3 Steps to lead you towards creating balance and boundaries by raising your energy awareness

Creating work-life balance

A day doesn’t go by where I don’t hear someone talking about the topic of work-life balance.

Is this really achievable?

Balance is not stagnant and rigid, it is fluid and ever changing.

So how do we strike a balance and maintain it? 

Creating work-life balance is much more than an intellectual pursuit. It’s a life skill that can teach us how to “go with the flow”, especially when big life changes or even transitions hit. 

Balance is a state of our physical and energetic being. When we are aware of our energy and how it connects to our body, we can integrate the two and experience a state of inner-balance. 

Balance promotes a state of mind that is clear and present.

So what happens when we get thrown by a major life change?

What can you do to internally shift yourself towards a state of balance? 

The very first step is to become keenly aware of when you’re feeling balanced or unbalanced. On an energetic level, we can tell when we are in balance and when we are out of balance. For example, when we are out of balance, we often feel: pressured, stressed, taxed, drained, uneasy, anxious and depressed. When we are balanced we often feel: a sense of well-being, ease, flow, peacefulness and relaxation. 

Both of these experiences shift our inner-state of being, which is energetic in nature. When we feel unbalanced we often say that we have low energy and when we’re balanced we have positive energy and feel bright and vitalized. 

I’d like to challenge you to not look for balance at the end of your day, but rather be curious about the quality of your energy. At the end of your day you want to have the energy to feel motivated and inspired, grateful and appreciative about what you’ve accomplished for the day. Therefore, I invite you to think about what is it that gives you energy? Become curious and more aware of the quality your energy levels throughout your day, so that you can experience an inner-state of balance. 

Boundaries and balance

We live in a society where saying “Yes” is often the acceptable norm.

How frequently do you take on extra projects, problems, or work when your plate is already full?

Or perhaps you find yourself spinning several plates at once. What happens if you the spinning stops? – the plates come crashing down! Are you aware that your plate is full and your juggling act is not sustainable? 

Unfortunately, this is a common problem amongst my clients that leads us right into a conversation about boundaries. The first step in setting boundaries is to get clear about what is important to you and what it is that you want to achieve. Your values and priorities, and the urgency and importance of each project or goal, will define how much time and energy you need in a day, week, or month. 

If you’re someone who tends to be overly-committed, then boundary setting is essential to your success as as as for your personal accountability. 

Are you a people pleaser?

Someone who all so often wants to please others to the point where they have to manage their own guilt and accomplishment If this is you the setting boundaries can sometimes feel harsh or limiting. The truth is, boundaries don’t have to be harsh or limiting and sometimes they just are.

The purpose of a healthy boundary is to create the space necessary to succeed in reaching your desired goals. 

4 keys to help you create practical boundaries 

  1. Be Flexible – we live in a world where flexibility and continued re-assessment of work-life balance is essential to maintaining choice and being able to make a conscious decision to invite a new work-around when it’s called for. In order to have flexibility you must first define your boundaries by allocated time for yourself or scheduled commitments that also has defined space for flexibility – I like to call it padding or a buffer. Have a few alternatives ready for when you’re faced with a challenge, so that you can compromise or tap into a viable solution that works for you.
  2. Know Your Requirements – these are your non-negotiables and relate directly to your deepest and critically important values and priorities. They drive the creation of strong boundaries. Your ability to identify your non-negotiables and have awareness of them is imperative to your success. Knowing these requirements leads to values-based decisions. 
  3. Create Space – by creating a mental or physical space between yourself and an unhelpful distraction can help prevent overwhelm or derailment from your goals and priorities. Consider planning a vacation or quick get-a-way in order to create physical distance and space from a project or person. Re-prioritize your less important projects or goals for a specific period of time in order to create time distance. Or even decide to focus on one goal at a time to create mental space from other potential distractions.
  4. Invite Adaptability – your ability to be adaptable requires both self-awareness and flexibility. This can be what you need it to be – such as a firm strong boundary or a more relaxed boundary depending on the situation. It can look like having flexible management of your time and goals, having clear awareness and recognition of your limits and the ability to prioritize new items as they arise, while managing previous commitments.

Defining specific boundaries and identifying your values that inform them will help you create the framework you need to steer clear of falling into the people pleaser trap that keeps you in a state of overwhelm and also leaks guilt into your accomplishment. 

The good news is that you can still accomplish a lot and in less time and even be guilt-free, when you learn to master the art of setting practical boundaries – it is certainly a creative process. 

5 questions to help you choose and set boundaries

When we don’t set boundaries the person we most often disappoint is ourselves. I invite you to reflect the following questions, then choose one boundary to begin with. 

  1. Who do you most need to set boundaries with? (make a list if needed)
  2. Where do you need to set boundaries for yourself? 
  3. Try asking, “If I say “yes” to that, then what will I be saying “no” to? Then, “If I say “no”, what will I be saying “yes” to?”
  4. What is the biggest thing that stops you from setting and maintaining your boundaries? 
  5. Choose you! What 3 boundaries could you set to ensure your needs are met? 

3 steps to raise your energy awareness

▶︎ STEP ONE: Become Aware of Your Energy  – we are made of energy and when it is flowing we are free from pain, disease and tension. These conditions are considered to be blocks or stagnation in our energy flow to where it gets thwarted and out of balance. There are several ways that you can begin to cultivate an awareness of your energy and it requires a daily consistent practice. 

You might want to consider meditation, mindful movement, or a simple practice of slowing down and paying attention to what is happening in your body and observe your energy levels throughout the day. You might also begin to notice how the quality of your energy shifts moment-to-moment, as it can feel bright and full and it can also begin to drop and become dull. The more you become familiar with your own energy, the more you’ll know how to cultivate it and keep it in balance. 

▶︎ STEP TWO: Know What Affects Your Energy – lots of things can affect your energy that range from your environment to the work you do and the people you surround yourself with. Pay attention to what gives you strength and nourishment and also feeds you positive energy, as well as what depletes your energy. Take inspired action to increase time spent on fulfilling activities, and limit your time on depleting activities and engagements. 

▶︎ STEP THREE: Create Balance Through Boundaries – one of the best ways to experience heightened energy is to create clear boundaries. As I mentioned earlier, setting healthy boundaries with yourself is the most important boundary that you will create. 

What agreements do you make with yourself? What do you do to take care of your yourself every day? For example, do you engage in activities that actively promote your energy like healthy eating, exercise and mindfulness practice? Do you have boundaries with technology, work and social media? Or do you stay up all hours of the night constantly scrolling and reading, go to bed late and feel tired and depleted the next morning? 

Practice also having healthy boundaries with others. Do you tend to overextend, over accommodate or sacrifice yourself in order to be there for others? Do you give your energy and power away unknowingly? Do you feel the need to do this in order to be liked, accepted, or needed? 

Consider the amount of time and energy you dedicate to yourself and your own creative passionate pursuits. How much attention do you invest compared to the amount of time and energy you give to others? What changes do you need to make in order to feel more whole, complete and centered? Learn how to effectively communicate your needs to others who may drain you or expect constant access to your attention.

Consider what boundaries you need to set to create more balance. Boundaries aren’t like borders they’re not walls that block people out of our lives. Boundaries help us to be honest and authentic about where we want to place our time and focus. The best boundaries are clear, peaceful and honoring to all people involved. They create containers of positive, focused energy where we can naturally experience balance and offer the best of who we are in any given situation.. 

Create “Energetic Boundaries” by considering making more than just “space” and “time” boundaries. Think of “energetic” boundaries that allows for the creation of a sacred space that is an energetic space to thrive, prosper and grow. Energetic boundaries can mean not taking work home with you or in your head – you can do this through grounding and releasing. 

Energetic boundaries may also mean being honest with your loved ones about what you can do, and what you can’t do. It may require you to speak your truth and express your needs. 

Striking a life-work balance is not a destination, it’s not something we arrive at one day – it’s a constant state of awareness and daily practice. This also holds true for the cultivation of healthy boundaries – as you’ll discover that it’s an important skill to be both  flexible and adaptable – depending on the particular situation. 

To avoid crashing and burning out – take time to listen to your body and your energy each day. Take small steps that you need to feel healthy, refreshed and free. Small steps often are easier to integrate into positive daily habits like meditation, exercise, healthy eating and conscious breathing. 

To receive personalized life or career coaching to help you best cultivate balance and boundaries in your life, please send an email to Teena at support@teenaevert.com 

How To Navigate Life & Career Transitions

EP23: HOW TO NAVIGATE LIFE AND CAREER TRANSITIONS

How To Navigate Life & Career Transitions

LIFE AND CAREER TRANSITIONS

Welcome to Season 2: Episode 23 of the Claim The Lead Podcast.

Season 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life.

My name is Teena Evert and I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance.

Today’s episode is about…

How to navigate life and career transitions

I have experienced many transitions in my life and career that have always required both a ‘holding on’ and a ‘letting go’. This a natural part of the cycle of life that needs to occur before something new can be embraced. Similar to a child receiving presents on their birthday, new things cannot be added when their arms are already full.

In order to successfully make it through these important life transitions, I had to consciously get clear and engage in what I wanted to ‘hold on’ to and what I needed to ‘let go’ of in order to make the shift. It’s a process that’s not always easy to move through alone. Therefore, I recommend working with a life coach.

Living a fulfilled life

😒 Are you too busy and feeling rushed everyday? 

😞 Have you lost track of your friends? 

😕 Have you lost track of yourself and your goals?

Many people come to me for coaching because they want to find ways to make their life more satisfying and fulfilling. They want to feel more alive. They want to get out of the trance that they’ve fallen into from the high levels of stimulation in our modern society – that is beginning to make them feel robotic. 

One of the issues of feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled is that people are being driven by habitual choices and ways of coping that were developed as young children and have remained unchanged. When coping habits outlive their usefulness and become outdated, they turn to a life coach like myself, seeking help to reshape and update their life. This requires coaching my clients how to develop new habits of thinking and behaving – it also requires a personal breakthrough.

Gain clarity about your limitations

The first step is to gain some clarity about the ways your habitual thinking and coping habits are your limitations to moving beyond your current life choices. 

When I coach my clients, we often focus on life purpose and life design work. As they become conscious of their unconscious they experience a transformation or personal breakthrough and begin to design their lives more purposefully – meaning new good habits and daily practices, and a new way of being. 

A key to this transformation and personal breakthrough is creating positive habits that replace unhealthy or unwanted behaviors.

Designing a life gets you out of being a creature of habit where you keep falling into a familiar sort of autopilot stupor. 

Examine your everyday life habits

My coaching process uses the principle of examining your everyday life habits to determine which are habitual and the assumptions that underpin them. I work directly with my clients to explore cognitively and emotionally ways to change habits and create more purposeful behavior that is in line with their desired life. 

Use your signature strengths

The strongest route to authentic happiness is to use your signature strengths in service of something greater than yourself. Your strengths can be your best motivators and I love helping people identify what they are. I use both formal and informal assessments to find their signature strengths, then coach them how to best leverage them. 

Design your life

The truth is, most of us did not grow up thinking we could design a life. Maybe a garden or a sandbox, but not your life. I help my clients become the interior designers of their lives in an integral way – body, mind, and spirit. Through our work, they realize they can make choices about their lives. They can consciously design a way of living that will bring them deep fulfillment – a feeling of satisfaction of having achieved one’s desires. 

 I help my clients discover what they desire and want to bring into actuality, to completion.

Fulfillment is not the end goal – it’s about experiencing fulfillment in the moment. Life brings new challenges and learning opportunities. 

Be purposeful

What I want for my you is to learn that in being more purposeful – in consciously choosing and designing your experience – you have opportunities to experience moments of fulfillment more frequently. 

Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all want more of whatever feels fulfilling. Living purposefully and living with design allows people to be more conscious of their choices, actions, and mind-set. 

Eleanor Roosevelt said,“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

It takes courage to create the life of your dreams. 

L. J. Cardinal Suenens said, “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”

There is a high cost of not living the life of our dreams, of not leading a fulfilling life – it takes courage and being honest with yourself to explore a new way of being. 

Link your desires with your actions

Many of us need to be reminded that WE create our own lives – through our intentions, beliefs, courage, and ability to link our desires with our actions. The real art of life is in balancing – living in the present with an ability to focus on the future

On one hand, life can feel like it’s working in our favor when we are happy, everything seems normal, whatever we are doing is succeeding, our routine is working, and we are comfortable. 

On the other hand, life can feel like it’s falling apart when we experience a loss, where the happiness of routine begins to fall apart. A variety of events begin to signal change, and we are challenged to let go of the routine that worked so well. 

Take time to heal and grow

When we experience loss in our lives, we want to return to our previous happiness as quickly as possible and regain our equilibrium. The healing and growth process requires one to experience the suffering and to allow ourselves to fully move through the feelings of loss. Unfortunately we can not avoid this process and still hope to achieve our goal. We can’t go over, under, or around this life transition – we must go through it, with all the hard work of planning, implementing, and revising that it entails. 

This is often an unpleasant process that involves true suffering: tension, stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, conflict, and sadness. It is only through suffering – fully experiencing our pain – that hope arises. 

The good news is that hope begins to emerge when our plans begin to work.

We start to notice progress and begin to feel competent. We hold a vision of a return to happiness and normality. Naturally, the new normal will be different from the old. When the process of change is effective, the elements of our life come together in a new configuration. We find happiness in a new state of equilibrium. 

Change will always come

Keep in mind that happiness is rarely a permanent state of being, change will reliably come as we move through life.

As a consequence of change, which is part of the natural cycle of life, we repeatedly experience the emotions of change. With loss we can experience feelings of anxiety, apprehension, and worry. We can feel sad, angry, irritated, and frustrated. Grieving needs to be done. Along with the experience of suffering through change, we may experience stress, depression, burnout, helplessness, and even hopelessness. 

Eventually hope brings renewed energy, optimism, and enthusiasm, and happiness brings a sense of satisfaction and contentment. 

Trying to grip onto the state of happiness in order to stay in a state of happiness forever is not realistic. Change is a natural part of our lives. It brings growth and is inevitably accompanied by the emotions associated with change. 

Claim the lead in your life

Coaching offers you the opportunity to put your hands on the wheel of your life and turn it at a speed that returns you more quickly to happiness when your life has gone off course. I help you discover your strengths so you can manage your life through important transitions and help you learn to navigate these times as smoothly as possible, emerging more resilient and less drained. 

When we are experiencing loss we have to fully experience it to move through it and coaching gives you the tools to design your life in the spirit of hope so that authentic happiness occurs more quickly, more easily, and more frequently. 

If you are suffering greatly and in pan, coaching can assist you to experience and move through the pain as elegantly as possible. 

If you are interested in learning more about my coaching practice and services, please send an email to support@teenaevert.com

Episode 22 Life and Career Coaching

INTRODUCTION SEASON 2

Episode 22 Life and Career Coaching

Episode 22: Life and Career Coaching | Season 2

LIFE AND CAREER DEVELOPMENT COACHING

Welcome to the Claim The Lead Podcast.

I’m your host Teena Evert this podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in work, life and love. I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career. 

Season 2

Today’s episode will be different than other episodes, because today I want to tell you about what SEASON 2 of this podcast is about and what you can expect from it. I also wanted to share a little about myself and the inspiration for a NEW SEASON!

I am a life-long learner and I have too many certifications, trainings and degrees to list them all; however the most relevant to my work to date are that I am a Certified Life and Career Transition Coach, Certified Conversational Intelligence Coach, I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Addictions Counselor.

I have a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career and I want you to know that you’re not alone, many people wonder where they fit or belong during challenging times.

I coach my clients on ways to get unstuck and move forward, strategize about possible barriers both internal and external and identify what is really holding them back from making changes. In our work together they gain more ideas, become more creative, are less anxious about the future and become more confident in designing and building a life they choose.

The transformation that occurs from gracefully moving through a life or career transition is really empowering! I know first hand, as I have been here multiple times and not only survived it, but have thrived on the other side – and you can too.

SEASON 2 is inspired by own recent transition as well as the incredible people that I have had the honor to coach over the past 9 months. They are so brave and courageous to seek out professional support to help guide them through times of change that can be filled with uncertainty, confusion, feeling lost and insignificant.

Through our work together they were able to discover themselves at a deeper level and learn to make choices in life that were in alignment with their core values and lead happy and more meaningful lives. They learned to move from a place of feeling completely stuck to an empowered outlook so they could reclaim the lead in their lives and move forward with a new energy and engagement within their relationships, life and career.

This has been my experience as well, when I recently sought out professional help and worked with a coach to assist me through an incredibly difficult transition in my life. I know the true power of working with a trained coach and recommend it highly if you are eager to grow out of a situation that can often feel impossible or unsolvable. I am here to tell you that is rough at first, but what’s possible on the other side is waiting for you!

Season 2 goals

My goals for SEASON 2 of this podcast, are to provide specific life and career development tools and practical tips to help you step into your best self, so you can live your best life. My hope is that it will help you know that they are not alone, that they’re not the only one experiencing or going through whatever they’re going through and learn some powerful and practical ways to start to shift, refocus and begin to move in a more positive direction.

Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I will encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and brings a sense of balance (including health, finances, relationships, spirituality, personal growth (including intellectual and emotional), leisure, family, and continuing education

Thank you for listening, as we learn to Claim The Lead as women, to not be afraid of our own power, but to own it and go forth and use it to make a greater impact in the world!

teena-everts-signature

CEO Claim The Lead

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