Welcome to Season 2: Episode 23 of the Claim The Lead Podcast.
Season 2 of the Claim The Lead podcast is for women who want to create a meaningful well-lived life. My intention is to support you in developing greater self-awareness, satisfaction and success in your work-life.
My name is Teena Evert and I am a Life and Career Development Coach, Trainer and Speaker with a true passion for helping people navigate important transitions in their life and career.
Through a hybrid of interviews and solo shows, I hope to encourage and inspire you to embrace a whole-life perspective. This will help you take a deeper look into yourself so that you can develop a meaningful life and career that brings a positive sense of self, is engaging and exciting and provides a sense of balance.
Today’s episode is about…
I have experienced many transitions in my life and career that have always required both a ‘holding on’ and a ‘letting go’. This a natural part of the cycle of life that needs to occur before something new can be embraced. Similar to a child receiving presents on their birthday, new things cannot be added when their arms are already full.
In order to successfully make it through these important life transitions, I had to consciously get clear and engage in what I wanted to ‘hold on’ to and what I needed to ‘let go’ of in order to make the shift. It’s a process that’s not always easy to move through alone. Therefore, I recommend working with a life coach.
😒 Are you too busy and feeling rushed everyday?
😞 Have you lost track of your friends?
😕 Have you lost track of yourself and your goals?
Many people come to me for coaching because they want to find ways to make their life more satisfying and fulfilling. They want to feel more alive. They want to get out of the trance that they’ve fallen into from the high levels of stimulation in our modern society – that is beginning to make them feel robotic.
One of the issues of feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled is that people are being driven by habitual choices and ways of coping that were developed as young children and have remained unchanged. When coping habits outlive their usefulness and become outdated, they turn to a life coach like myself, seeking help to reshape and update their life. This requires coaching my clients how to develop new habits of thinking and behaving – it also requires a personal breakthrough.
The first step is to gain some clarity about the ways your habitual thinking and coping habits are your limitations to moving beyond your current life choices.
When I coach my clients, we often focus on life purpose and life design work. As they become conscious of their unconscious they experience a transformation or personal breakthrough and begin to design their lives more purposefully – meaning new good habits and daily practices, and a new way of being.
A key to this transformation and personal breakthrough is creating positive habits that replace unhealthy or unwanted behaviors.
Designing a life gets you out of being a creature of habit where you keep falling into a familiar sort of autopilot stupor.
My coaching process uses the principle of examining your everyday life habits to determine which are habitual and the assumptions that underpin them. I work directly with my clients to explore cognitively and emotionally ways to change habits and create more purposeful behavior that is in line with their desired life.
The strongest route to authentic happiness is to use your signature strengths in service of something greater than yourself. Your strengths can be your best motivators and I love helping people identify what they are. I use both formal and informal assessments to find their signature strengths, then coach them how to best leverage them.
The truth is, most of us did not grow up thinking we could design a life. Maybe a garden or a sandbox, but not your life. I help my clients become the interior designers of their lives in an integral way – body, mind, and spirit. Through our work, they realize they can make choices about their lives. They can consciously design a way of living that will bring them deep fulfillment – a feeling of satisfaction of having achieved one’s desires.
I help my clients discover what they desire and want to bring into actuality, to completion.
Fulfillment is not the end goal – it’s about experiencing fulfillment in the moment. Life brings new challenges and learning opportunities.
What I want for my you is to learn that in being more purposeful – in consciously choosing and designing your experience – you have opportunities to experience moments of fulfillment more frequently.
Let’s be honest with ourselves, we all want more of whatever feels fulfilling. Living purposefully and living with design allows people to be more conscious of their choices, actions, and mind-set.
Eleanor Roosevelt said,“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
It takes courage to create the life of your dreams.
L. J. Cardinal Suenens said, “Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”
There is a high cost of not living the life of our dreams, of not leading a fulfilling life – it takes courage and being honest with yourself to explore a new way of being.
Many of us need to be reminded that WE create our own lives – through our intentions, beliefs, courage, and ability to link our desires with our actions. The real art of life is in balancing – living in the present with an ability to focus on the future.
On one hand, life can feel like it’s working in our favor when we are happy, everything seems normal, whatever we are doing is succeeding, our routine is working, and we are comfortable.
On the other hand, life can feel like it’s falling apart when we experience a loss, where the happiness of routine begins to fall apart. A variety of events begin to signal change, and we are challenged to let go of the routine that worked so well.
When we experience loss in our lives, we want to return to our previous happiness as quickly as possible and regain our equilibrium. The healing and growth process requires one to experience the suffering and to allow ourselves to fully move through the feelings of loss. Unfortunately we can not avoid this process and still hope to achieve our goal. We can’t go over, under, or around this life transition – we must go through it, with all the hard work of planning, implementing, and revising that it entails.
This is often an unpleasant process that involves true suffering: tension, stress, anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, conflict, and sadness. It is only through suffering – fully experiencing our pain – that hope arises.
The good news is that hope begins to emerge when our plans begin to work.
We start to notice progress and begin to feel competent. We hold a vision of a return to happiness and normality. Naturally, the new normal will be different from the old. When the process of change is effective, the elements of our life come together in a new configuration. We find happiness in a new state of equilibrium.
Keep in mind that happiness is rarely a permanent state of being, change will reliably come as we move through life.
As a consequence of change, which is part of the natural cycle of life, we repeatedly experience the emotions of change. With loss we can experience feelings of anxiety, apprehension, and worry. We can feel sad, angry, irritated, and frustrated. Grieving needs to be done. Along with the experience of suffering through change, we may experience stress, depression, burnout, helplessness, and even hopelessness.
Eventually hope brings renewed energy, optimism, and enthusiasm, and happiness brings a sense of satisfaction and contentment.
Trying to grip onto the state of happiness in order to stay in a state of happiness forever is not realistic. Change is a natural part of our lives. It brings growth and is inevitably accompanied by the emotions associated with change.
Coaching offers you the opportunity to put your hands on the wheel of your life and turn it at a speed that returns you more quickly to happiness when your life has gone off course. I help you discover your strengths so you can manage your life through important transitions and help you learn to navigate these times as smoothly as possible, emerging more resilient and less drained.
When we are experiencing loss we have to fully experience it to move through it and coaching gives you the tools to design your life in the spirit of hope so that authentic happiness occurs more quickly, more easily, and more frequently.
If you are suffering greatly and in pan, coaching can assist you to experience and move through the pain as elegantly as possible.
If you are interested in learning more about my coaching practice and services, please send an email to email@example.com
Teena Evert, MA, LMFT, BCC, CCTC, CCC, GCDF, CDBS is a Board Certified Coach, Certified Career Counselor, Global Career Development Facilitator, and Licensed Mental Health Professional. She helps her clients successfully navigate important transitions in their life and career with intention, clarity and purpose. She can help you get unstuck, identify your barriers, and move forward fearlessly into a bright future of your own design.
EP47: WAYS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN THE FACE OF EXTREME STRESS
EP46: HOW TO USE MENTAL RESOURCES TO FOSTER WELL-BEING
EP45: HOW TO LOVE, LEARN, WORK AND PLAY AS YOU AGE
EP44: HOW TO REACH THE NEXT LEVEL IN YOUR CAREER
EP43: RECLAIM YOUR POWER AT WORK
EP42: HOW TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR CAREER
EP41: THE KEY TO GREATER HAPPINESS, PRODUCTIVITY AND ENGAGEMENT IN YOUR WORK
EP40: HOW TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE FOR SUPPORT DURING A CAREER CHANGE
EP39: CAREER CHANGE BARRIERS, FEARS, AND STRATEGIES
EP38: ENERGIZE YOUR WORK LIFE
EP37: MANAGING STRESSFUL WORK RELATIONSHIPS
EP36: HOW TO MANAGE STRESS AT WORK AND BUILD RESILIENCE