The important difference between anxiety and fear
Understanding emotions can be confusing, especially when fear and anxiety feel so similar. But they are actually very different, and knowing the difference can help us feel better and respond kindlier to ourselves.
What is fear?
Fear is one of our core emotions. It’s part of a group of emotions built into our bodies to help us survive. Fear’s job is to keep us safe by helping us escape danger.
For example, if we see a bear, hear footsteps behind us in the dark, or smell smoke in the house, our body reacts before we even think. Our heart races, we breathe faster, and we might jump or freeze. This is fear at work—getting us ready to run or protect ourselves.
Fear happens automatically and is not something we can control. Our brain is wired this way on purpose. It’s a survival system designed to act fast when we’re in danger.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is different from fear. Anxiety is what we feel when we try to stop or push down emotions—especially fear. This usually starts in childhood.
For example, if a little girl cries and her mom gets upset or walks away, the girl might learn to stop showing sadness. Over time, instead of feeling sadness, she might feel anxious. Or, if a boy says he’s scared and gets teased for being weak, he might learn to hide his fear. That hidden fear turns into anxiety.
So while fear gets us moving, anxiety holds us back. You can think of it like this:
- Fear = gas pedal
- Anxiety = brakes
Why do we learn to hide fear?
There are lots of reasons we might develop anxiety instead of feeling fear directly:
- We were told it’s bad to be scared.
- People around us didn’t allow fear.
- The fear felt too big to handle.
- We were stuck in a scary situation and couldn’t get away.
- We had too many emotions at once.
- Our fear didn’t match what others expected from us.
How fear and anxiety feel in the body
Both fear and anxiety cause physical changes. That’s because all emotions show up in the body. If we pay attention to how we feel below the neck, we can learn a lot.
Fear might cause:
- Fast heartbeat
- Shallow or fast breathing
- Sweating
- Shaking
- Chills
- Nausea
Anxiety might cause:
- Nervousness or tension
- Sense of doom
- Dizziness
- Trouble sleeping
- Stomach problems
- Trouble concentrating
- Overthinking or worry
- Wanting to avoid certain situations
- Feeling insecure
These can feel very similar, which makes it hard to know what’s what.
How to work with fear and anxiety
Fear usually goes away when we let ourselves fully feel it—after the danger has passed. We can support this process by slowing down, breathing deeply into our belly, and staying curious and gentle with what we feel.
Anxiety, on the other hand, needs calming. Once we feel more grounded, we can begin to explore what core emotion might be underneath. We might ask ourselves:
- “Is something actually scary or dangerous right now?”
- “Am I really in danger, or is this an old memory getting stirred up?”
- “Could I be feeling sadness, anger, fear, joy, or another core emotion?”
If we’re not in real danger, it’s likely anxiety—an internal warning, not a response to an actual threat.
Emotions from the past can show up now
Sometimes anxiety we feel today comes from past experiences.
For example, let’s say Eric feels a wave of fear every time his boss gives him a new task. The task isn’t dangerous, but Eric still feels anxious. Why? Because as a child, he was shamed when he made mistakes. Now, grown-up Eric still feels that old fear deep inside. That’s anxiety connected to the past.
Therapy can help uncover and heal these deeper emotional roots.
The good news
We can feel better. We can learn to work with our emotions instead of avoiding them. Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) gives you tools that help us understand and process our emotions—especially when we use the tools with breathing, mindfulness, and support from a trusted person therapist.
Emotional health matters just as much as physical health. And really, the two are connected. When we understand what’s happening inside us, we can begin to respond in ways that support our well-being now and in the future.
You’re not broken. You’re human. And with practice and support, you can feel more calm, more connected, and more at ease.
Ready to take the next step?
If you’re struggling with fear, anxiety, or emotions that feel overwhelming, you don’t have to go through it alone. I work with individuals and couples to help them better understand their emotions, heal from the past, and build more secure, fulfilling relationships.
I offer therapy in person in Boulder, online throughout Colorado, and coaching across the U.S.
Reach out today to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.
Let’s talk about how I can support you on your path toward greater emotional clarity and ease.
