Many of use who are committed to personal growth to create your ideal life for a long time. As a result, we have become aware of their coping mechanisms. These coping mechanisms have been very helpful for getting oneself out of survival mode. When we’re out of survival mode we can move into creating our life. Then we can take full responsibility for our actions, set clear intentions, and align our emotions with our desires.
This important growth process must move beyond concepts and practices that get us out of our constant mind chatter. We also need to learn how to get into our bodies to be in receptive mode. This allows us to receive our life in the present moment. Learning to receive what is next for you will significantly raise your level of well being and keep you out of survival mode.
This all takes place in relationships with others, because we learn how to navigate the push and pull energy of our interaction dynamics. When there is too much push or not enough pull we get out of synch. We move back into survival mode and lose our ability to be receptive to the moment. When we’re receptive we can utilize our innate wisdom in creating a life that is purposeful, meaningful and rich.
It is not about how smart you are. It’s about how open you are to learning new and powerful rituals. Rituals that prime the brain for trust, partnership, and mutual success.
Human beings have a need to belong. This considered by neuroscientists and psychologists to be more powerful than the need for physical safety and security. We are learning that social interactions cause us to either move towards or away from others, and each interaction has the power to trigger protection or growth.
When our interactions with others are healthy we have a healthy state of mind and can engage with others toward mutual success. Oxytocin is elevated, cortisol is lowered, and our capacity to heal ourselves is also high.
Relationships, especially healthy ones, are pivotal to sustaining health. When we are alone or disconnected from others, our own state of being shifts. Our cortisol levels elevate. Fear of being rejected or judged surface. We struggle to experience the world around us as safe and accepting. Hence, feelings of doubt, fear and distress become elevated.
Do you find yourself struggling in your relationships with others? Here are a few best practices to help you show up in the world with new eyes and healthier interactions.
Let go of holding onto the past and old feelings about others. This can be very deleterious to our health and to our ability to have healthy relationships. Without healthy relationships, we can live shorter lives, be prone to illness, and can live in a state of ‘making things up that don’t exist.’
Learning to ‘release the past’ that may be unhealthy is important when we are focusing on having healthy relationships in our lives.
The ability to reframe our relationships and work through challenges with people is essential for health. So, applying our skills in reframing relationships can be the most essential and impactful thing we can do to enhance the quality of our lives.
Ignoring our feelings toward others, especially if they are negative feelings is almost impossible. If we have bad history with someone, we can pretend it doesn’t exist but it is still having an effect on us at the unconscious level. Learn to handle the relationship in where you acknowledge what is true and possible. By refocusing on what is healthy and possible shifts the neurochemistry of your relationship. It can also change the trajectory of your lives.
When we are uncertain about how others will feel about us there is a tendency to go into protect behavior. We may have a history of distrust and protection built into our brain, and this may become our default mode.
Accepting this is a possibility, but not the only state we will be in, gives us the opportunity to sustain the reality of making change happen. Even in spite of our neurochemical shifts. Redirecting enables us to move into a healthier state.
Conversations are about patterns and energy not just about information. Through our conversations, as your coach, insights will emerge about the patterns that will enable you to work on conversational strategies to elevate the link between intention and impact.
Our work together will help you bring change into the world that will empower more transparency, stronger relationships, deeper understanding, broader and more profound and shared success, and most of all the ability to tell the truth – to close the chasm’s that separate us – one from another.
CAREER-CENTERED LIFE COACH | Teena Evert, MA, LMFT, CCTC helps you navigate important transitions in your life and career with intention, clarity and purpose. She can help you get unstuck, identify your barriers, and move forward fearlessly into a bright future of your own design.
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