What Does It Mean to “Hold Steady”?
Holding steady is an essential skill in all types of relationships—whether romantic, familial, or friendships. It allows you to share your true feelings with others while being open to hearing theirs. But what exactly does it mean to hold steady?
In this post, we’ll explore what this skill entails and how you can develop it to improve your relationships.
Understanding Emotional Groundedness
Have you ever found yourself overreacting during a stressful situation, saying things you didn’t mean, or shutting down completely? If so, you’re not alone.
Holding steady refers to the ability to maintain emotional stability, even when tensions are high. It’s about staying grounded and calm, so that you can navigate through difficult moments without letting your emotions take control.
Making the Choice to Hold Steady
Holding steady is a conscious choice you make during a moment of tension. It begins by being aware of your body’s stress signals—like a quickening heartbeat, rapid breathing, or tense muscles.
When you notice these signs, you have a decision to make: will you let these stress responses take over, or will you choose to slow down and hold steady? This might involve taking deep breaths, calming your mind, and shifting your thoughts away from negative reactions.
Practice Makes Perfect
Like any other skill, holding steady takes practice. Our natural reactions to stress are deeply rooted in our instincts, designed to protect us from danger.
While these responses were useful for our ancestors, they can be less helpful during modern-day conversations, especially when discussing sensitive topics.
Over time, with consistent practice, you can train yourself to slow down, breathe deeply, and stay calm during tough conversations.
Staying Motivated to Hold Steady
Holding steady isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort. Here are a few questions to help keep you motivated:
- Why do I want to hold steady? Think about the benefits for yourself, others, and your relationships.
- What will my first experiment with holding steady involve? It could be counting to 10, taking a short walk, or slowly exhaling while calming yourself.
- How will my life improve once I succeed? Consider how you’ll feel about yourself and your relationships after mastering this skill.
- What can I do to keep this goal front-and-center? Create a mantra, write it down, or find another way to keep your motivation strong.
Changing Your Thought Patterns
Once you’ve committed to holding steady, the next step is to change the thoughts that escalate stress. You can become your own coach by preparing positive, calming thoughts to help you stay steady when emotions run high.
Here are some ideas:
- “It’s okay if we don’t agree right away. There’s no rush.”
- “This isn’t an emergency. Look around, everything is okay.”
- “If I stay curious, I might learn something new.”
- “I want to spread calmness, not stress.”
- “It’s fine if I don’t get all my points across right now.”
- “I need to understand the other person’s perspective.”
- “This is just the first of many conversations.”
- “If things get too heated, it’s better to take a break.”
- “My negative thoughts might be distorted. I should wait until I’m calm to make decisions.”
- “I won’t say anything mean. It will only make things worse.”
- “The most important things are connection and respect.”
The Benefits of Holding Steady
When you hold steady during a tough conversation, you can explore the topic more deeply, helping both you and others to understand each other better. You’ll avoid the regret of saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment and gain control over your emotional responses.
By practicing holding steady, you’ll act as the best version of yourself, strengthening your relationships and enhancing your emotional well-being.
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