Welcome to the Confident Careerist podcast. I’m your host Teena Evert, and I’m so glad you’re tuning in to today’s episode. If you don’t know me, I am the host of this podcast and the CEO and Founder of Claim the Lead. We serve purpose-driven professionals who want to create meaningful work to experience more joy in their lives.
I’m a certified coach and provide career coaching to professionals who want to transform their careers into meaningful, satisfying, and prosperous work. I also offer counseling services. As a licensed mental health professional, I specialize in providing solution-focused care for individuals who need support navigating rough spots in their personal or professional life.
Before I dive into today’s topic, I want you to go to and download my free audio training, where you’ll learn three strategies that’ll give you clarity and confidence to build a career and life you love.
In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about a near and dear topic because it is something that I have struggled with for a very long time and still have days where this can trip me up.
I know I am not alone here, so that is why I wanted to discuss – How do you know that you’re good enough?!
I was never at the top of my class, an employee of the month, or the “10” I think my partner wants me to be.
I am pretty spectacular at beating myself up, and this only gets magnified when I compare myself to others and don’t feel like I measure up.
Can you relate?
Little by little, I have built myself up while working towards my goals. Daily I have to remind myself that I can’t spend my days chasing after someone else’s path – because I wouldn’t be walking down my own.
Discovering my path has taken time; it has also required the courage to look closely at what I value most in life what I need to feel content and confident in who I am as a person.
I think I have come a long way. How are you doing in life?
This simple question can motivate, persuade, and humiliate the human spirit.
This one question can unconsciously direct our day-to-day choices. It can thrust us into a career we hate; it can convince us to alter our bodies surgically; it can persuade us to buy a particular car; it can induce us to purchase the next shiny object.
It can also motivate us to complete our college degree, advance in our career, or even plant a garden.
The pursuit of success is tricky because it operates on emotional and cognitive levels and guides our decisions and meaning-making.
The questions, How am I doing in life? And How do I know that I’m good enough? are questions that are unmatched in virtually any person within Western culture.
It is deeply, inescapably human to yearn to have our basic sufficiency reflected back to us. We all long for inclusion and social safety. And even more potent than our yearning for inclusion is our horror of exclusion or being tolerated and unnoticed.
This yearning gets embedded in the fabric of what it is to be human. The concern with our societal standing has for millennia driven our evolution. Our capacity to thrive is entirely contingent on our being “good enough” to be accepted, to belong, and for love. Much of the work of healing in our lives revolve around this central question of knowing that we are deserving of belonging.
In the career world, resumes are what measures our progress. Unfortunately, this metric is one of the few ways we can size-up our success, and many overachievers seek a standardized measurement of accomplishment. It’s deceiving, as if looking into a mirror that seems to add 15 pounds to your figure. Seeing that every achievement, every job, all of the internships, and volunteer work you’ve ever had gets summed up in 11-point Veranda type without even filling an entire page is discouraging.
It leaves us ponding our inadequacy – Am I good enough?
Then there’s social media – where with each scroll, we’re reminded not of our own accomplishments but of those of others – things you didn’t achieve, but everyone else did. We get reminded of what we don’t have and the places we haven’t been.
Doesn’t everyone dream of being that person who does it all – balancing a career, a family, and social life? If all we seek is high achievements or being the best, we will find only disappointment.
How do we find our better and happier selves? What if it’s not really the case that success leads to happiness, but happiness itself leads to greater success…
Feeling like we never measure up to being good enough or wrestling with perfection just doesn’t work. Getting messy, authentic, and scrappy does!
What works is flexibility and not avoiding mistakes but acknowledging them, doing what we can to make up for them, and learning from them.
When we aim for perfection, we get locked into overanalyzing our performance, and this, my friends takes us right back to the question…or false statement – I am not good enough.
The truth is, a relationship with ourselves that expects perfection is doomed to fail. A constant pursuit of perfection leads to anxiety.
Focus on what you can control in your life, and this means shifting the effort you put towards being perfect for letting yourself be messy and real.
Focus on what is most important right now – identify that you are good-enough and find the satisfaction in that.
I have five crucial questions for you to answer. These questions will help you focus on what is most important to you right now.
They will also help you anchor in the truth that you are good enough while you learn to be more flexible, messy, and scrappy on the path that you have chosen to walk down.
- What do you really want (vision)?
- What is really important to you (values)?
- How are you going to get there (strategy)?
- What is getting in your way (obstacles)?
- How will you know when you have it (measurable)?
AH, and one final bonus question for you! What will you do to celebrate your success every day?
Until next time, Be Confident.