WHAT DOES HAPPINESS MEAN TO YOU?
What have you been manifesting in your life lately?
Whatever it is, is it bringing you joy or stressing you out?
Are you where you truly want to be?
Can you honestly say that you’re happy and content with where you’re at right now? or are you still searching?
Most people are searching because we all have a desire to find happiness, be happy and stay happy. But can it be as simple as choosing to be happy? If it were that simple, wouldn’t we all be walking around with a permanent smile on our face?
Although I agree choosing to be happy is an important first step, we still have to consciously create the right internal and external environment to manifest what we truly want and to feel content in life.
A Decline in Happiness
According to the 2019 World Happiness Report, happiness and well-being has declined among adult Americans since 2010. This same report states that the feeling of happiness is made up from experiences that satisfy us on a deep level and bring an overwhelming feeling of contentment.
I agree with that, but here’s the challenge most of us face:
How often have you had an amazing experience that left you beaming with joy, then not long after it was over, you were right back to where you were before the experience? Your emotional state was in the doldrums feeling ho hum without anything extraordinary happening to arouse your senses.
This experience is true for many. We get used to experiencing the highs and lows and ups and downs of life and accept this stress cycle as the norm. But isn’t this how we build our resilience? Perhaps this is true, but does it have to be so tumultuous? Can we learn to remain in a state of flow regardless of what’s going on around us?
Is it possible to use our emotional resilience to move through life’s challenges without turning things into mountains that were originally just a bump along the road?
I believe so. Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good mountain to climb that challenges my stamina, physically, mentally and emotionally. What I don’t enjoy is when the mountain suddenly appears in front of me unexpectedly and I am not prepared for the challenge. I don’t have the right shoes, clothing, food or gear to make the trek. It could actually be dangerous to attempt the climb without adequate preparation and supplies.
Solving Unsolvable Problems
This is an example of when we’re most likely to give up. We tell ourselves we just don’t have what it takes to succeed, so we don’t even try. The truth is, we all have blind spots especially when it comes to conquering life’s challenges. In most cases, if we ask for support, we can find a solution to what we perceive, as an unsolvable problem.
Others can often see what we can’t see during times of high stress. Our brain is in survival mode and as a result our creativity gets thwarted. This is why when faced with a big challenge, one that appears to be unsolvable, it’s important to seek support or guidance to help you discover a viable solution.
I can’t tell you how many times I put my head down and just walked away because the task in front of me looked too daunting. I didn’t even try or put forth any effort, because I believed it was an impossible task or unsolvable problem. However, if I had asked for help, I would’ve been able to see that the challenge was totally doable, manageable and even fun to conquer.
Asking For Support
When was the last time you were faced with a challenge and your first instinct was to walk away and not even attempt to face it? What if in that moment instead of giving up, you asked for support?
What would be different today if you choose this option?
How would you feel different about yourself?
What kind of support do you need to manifest your dreams?
When the going gets tough, stop what you’re doing and find someone who is willing to help you see or find a solution that works for you. Not only will this boost your confidence it will strengthen your resilience and ability to thrive during difficult times. This may even lead you down a path where you feel happier and more content overall.
All too often, we just have to get out of our own way by dropping our ego and our preconceived notion regarding how we think things should be. We get so attached to the outcome that when things don’t start to unfold the way we had imagined or don’t look the way we had envisioned them to be, we get frustrated and try to control the outcome even more.
This pattern of thinking and behaving is what feeds our resistance and robs our joy in the process of creating and manifesting. We shut off the value to these energy flows and instead open the valve to fear. The more we tap into the fear the more it becomes the primary source of fuel that drives our behaviors.
We don’t even realize that we’re operating under such adverse conditions. We blame external circumstances and avoid taking full responsibility for our happiness. And so it goes…we do this over and over again throughout our life with no conscious awareness that we keep repeating the cycle that disconnects us from our true desires.
It can be really difficult to sustain the amount of energy it takes to drive our lives from this place of disconnect - and we all have a breaking point. Unfortunately, this can lead to a wide variety of disorders, diseases, loss of wellbeing, and loss of productivity.
Nothing changes until we acknowledge the stress cycle and get the right support.
What’s it going to be for you?
It’s your choice and although that sounds like the easy part, it’s can be the hardest step to take. You get to choose what happiness means to you.
The secret solution is, you have to believe that you can be.
I want to leave you with these questions:
Do you believe you can be truly happy?
Can you keep striving to be the best version of you and still feel content in the moment?
What support do you need to manifest your dreams?
Teena Evert, MA, LMFT, LAC, PC is a licensed therapist and transformational coach who helps stressed out professionals strengthen their emotional resilience to increase their overall work-life satisfaction.
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CAREER-CENTERED LIFE COACH | Teena Evert, MA, LMFT, CCTC helps you navigate important transitions in your life and career with intention, clarity and purpose. She can help you get unstuck, identify your barriers, and move forward fearlessly into a bright future of your own design.