Love—real love—isn’t easy.
It asks a lot from us. Vulnerability, patience, effort, reflection, forgiveness, growth. That’s the truth I see every day in my work as a marriage and family therapist.
I meet couples who started out strong—hopeful, connected, full of shared dreams. But somewhere along the way, that ease gave way to conflict, distance, or numbness. The spark that once brought them together now flickers in a sea of misunderstanding, tension, or quiet resignation.
Some are actively fighting, locked in cycles of blame and defense. Others simply feel… flat. The connection once so alive now feels like a chore—or worse, a burden. Many clients tell me they’ve worked so hard to make things better. They’ve read the books, tried the date nights, maybe even done therapy before. Still, something keeps breaking down.
Sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
“How did we get here?”
This is one of the most common and heartbreaking questions I hear.
For many couples, things didn’t go wrong all at once. It was a slow drift. Less eye contact. Less affection. Fewer conversations that feel real. Over time, stressors pile up, communication frays, and protective walls rise. You might find yourself feeling unappreciated, unseen, or just tired—tired of trying so hard for so little return.
Even if there isn’t a big betrayal or explosive conflict, something still feels… off. Missing. And that “off” feeling matters. It can erode trust, desire, and safety in subtle but significant ways.
Why effort alone doesn’t always work
It’s incredibly frustrating to feel like you’re doing everything right—but getting nowhere. Maybe you’ve tried talking differently, listening more, setting boundaries, softening your tone. And maybe those things helped—temporarily.
But real, lasting change requires more than effort. It requires insight. A different kind of support. A deeper understanding of the patterns that got you here.
What if it’s not just communication?
Often, what we call “communication problems” are really issues of safety, attachment, and regulation. That’s where the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) comes in. PACT is a powerful, neuroscience-informed model that helps partners attune to each other’s nervous systems, repair ruptures more effectively, and create secure bonds that actually last.
This is deeper work. It’s not about surface-level fixes—it’s about understanding what’s happening underneath your reactions and learning how to show up for each other in ways that actually stick.
Healing starts with a different kind of support
I specialize in helping couples and individuals uncover what’s really happening beneath the surface. Whether you’re struggling to reconnect, repair trust, or heal old wounds that are bleeding into your current relationship, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I also work with adult children of narcissists who carry relational trauma that makes intimacy especially complicated. Through a trauma-informed, experiential, and structured process, I help clients get to the heart of their patterns—and transform them.
If you’re ready to show up, reflect, and take meaningful action, I offer a safe and attuned space to help you grow—and love—more securely.
If something’s not working in your relationship, let’s explore it together.
You don’t have to stay stuck in cycles that keep you disconnected. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward the relationship you long for.
