Why You’re Not Falling for the One Who Checks All the Boxes You’re not broken—your brain just knows what feels familiar. Have you ever dated someone who seemed ideal—kind, emotionally available, stable, attractive, successful—but still, something didn’t click? You’re...
What adult children of narcissists often struggle to unlearn When you grow up in a narcissistic family system, you’re not just dealing with difficult personalities—you’re absorbing unspoken rules about who you’re allowed to be. These “rules” aren’t written...
Love—real love—isn’t easy. It asks a lot from us. Vulnerability, patience, effort, reflection, forgiveness, growth. That’s the truth I see every day in my work as a marriage and family therapist. I meet couples who started out strong—hopeful, connected, full of shared...
How the Skills That Keep Climbers Alive Can Also Keep Couples Connected—with Help from PACT Picture this: two climbers roped together, navigating ice, snow, and steep rock faces on a remote alpine peak. Each step is taken with care. Each decision, a matter of trust....
How Jen and Derek Turned Things Around—and Why You Can Too Feeling alone in your relationship Jen and Derek had been married for sixteen years and were raising two kids. But over the last four years, Jen began to feel more and more alone—even though she wasn’t...
How secure relationships can power your life and bring out the best in you and your partner Love that lifts you up Healthy, secure relationships give us something special: energy. Not just the kind that gets you out of bed, but a deep, lasting strength that carries...
The important difference between anxiety and fear Understanding emotions can be confusing, especially when fear and anxiety feel so similar. But they are actually very different, and knowing the difference can help us feel better and respond kindlier to ourselves....
Forget the lists. Focus on what really works. As couples therapists, my colleagues and I have shared all kinds of advice over the years—“7 Rules for Love,” “10 Steps to a Happy Relationship,” “5 Secrets for Better Communication.” But let’s be honest—if those lists...
Healing doesn’t happen entirely in isolation. While it often starts as a solo journey—read books, go to therapy, journal, meditate—it inevitably impacts the relationships around us. We do the inner work, trying to make sense of our experiences without disturbing the...
Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck in repetitive emotional patterns—avoiding discomfort, suppressing feelings, or reacting automatically in ways that don’t serve you? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle to be present with our emotions, often fearing...
